You can't be in the club anymore!

We interrupt this Christmas Blog for one of my tangents....

Remember back in the day when you and your friends started "secret club." The kind that met on Sunday afternoons when all the Mom's gathered for their weekly book club meeting to talk about the latest book. Only, now that you are able to read and you remember the sounds they made your questioning whether or not they were talking about a book or sex.

I bet you remember the exact Princess Barbie sheet you draped over your dresser and bed to make little fort and the exact color of gel pen you used to make the "NO BOYS ALLOWED" sign that you pinned to the Princess Barbie sheet with scotch tape, because you weren't trusted with anything else.

Remember when Becky promised she would bring cookies for everyone, and you could already feel the gooey deliciousness in your mouth, only to find that Becky didn't come to the meeting, which inadvertently left you with Sarah's crummy crackers and cheese? So, you being the leader of the group decided that Becky was kicked out of the club.

OH Ooorr! Do you remember when everyone took a task to do to help the club get better. Sarah had to bring stuffed animals to guard the fort, you had to type up the club rules (because only a REAL club had rules), and Jessica was assigned to bringing extra sheets to expand the fort in the hallway? Yea! I bet you also remember when Sarah forgot to bring the guard animals and how upset you were and that you also KICKED HER OUT OF THE CLUB!

This is a classic example of the "You hurt my feelings, so now I am going to hurt yours MORE" attitude. I thought everyone moved past this in 6th grade. Apparently, we didn't, and apparently it is following us all the way through the completion of our MBA.

The degree program I am completing requires team assignments (luckily it's the same team throughout the class). Generally, teams handle the assignment by splitting up the work, submitting it on a early date, and one person compiles it all, edits it and turns it in. It's a full proof method to an A. However, sometimes shit happens, it's inevitable and the person who SAID they wold write 300 words on cow dung, backed out and now the rest of the team has to figure out what to do next. Welcome to the real world!

What I am about to tell you happens often, and my often I mean there is always someone from one team your brings it up or suggests it.

One team member suggests that in the event someone does not complete the work he or she was assigned/volunteered to do, then he or she's name will be removed from the assignment.

Fair, right? It sounds fair. If Jane didn't do the work, why should she get credit? I'll tell you why...

BECAUSE SHE IS IN THE TEAM TOO!!!

Now, let us take out the obvious excuses as to why Jane didn't so the homework: She didn't pay her internet bill, so she couldn't submit the work? Her dog ate it? She dropped her cell phone in the toilet at the bar and hadn't gotten around to getting a new one, so there was no way she could call to tell you what happened? Wait, that was me. Anyway, now that we have all the bull shit excuses out of the way let's focus of those that have merit.

My grandma died. Some of you might be thinking that this is not really a good excuse. Well, I am close to my grandmother and if she did die, I would want some time to grieve. And I can guarantee that the LAST thing I am going to be doing is writing about cow dung OR letting my team know that I will not be writing about cow dung. The team all of a sudden takes second priority and I no longer care for their well being.

I digress...

Jane has no valid excuse and her grandmother died 3 years ago. Should her name still go on the assignment? YES! Why?

BECAUSE SHE IS IN THE TEAM TOO!!!

Let me explain further with more explanations:

1. If you think of a classroom like a business you would have the boss (the professor) and the employees (the students). By removing an employee from the workload (for lack of participation) the team would be in a sense "firing" said employee. Well, the team does not have the authority to fire the employee; that is the boss's job and should be left up to the boss. The employees' job is to inform the boss of the situation so that the boss can handle the situation properly.

2. You're reverting to your childhood self by saying, "If you are not going to bring me any cookies, then I am kicking you out of the club." You're an adult, behave like one, even when you are challenged by adults behaving like children. Stooping to their level makes you no better.

3. Regardless of which team member participates or HOW MUCH each member participates it is still a team effort. If I decided that I was going to do JACK SHIT (hypothetically of course, not physically) I am still apart of the team. I may not be acting like much of a team member, but you can't control that.

4. It's a threat, more so a scare tactic. "IF you don't do the work, you don't get your name on the paper!" Is that the best you can come up with? My NAME doesn't go onto a piece of paper? You really convinced me to write that paper on cow dung. In fact, I am so worried about my name isn't going to go on the paper, I am going to write 600 instead of 300 words. The point is... If someone is not going to do the work, it doesn't matter if you threaten them with assignment points. I'll call your bluff, and raise you a trip to the managers office where

5. An eye for an eye. We are not in the Roman days and we all know this method doesn't work. It will always end in someone's death. For example:

I take your eye.

You take my eye for taking your eye.

I take your other eye for taking my eye.

You take my other for for me taking your other eye.

The result: You and I are both left blind!

END TANGENT