Gabriel Iglesias Kept it Clean

For the second week in a row Gabriel Iglesias performed at the Tempe Improv theater and for the time ever he performed for a PG-13 audience.

We all know that comedy is funnier when it is performed with a "naughty" or "bad boy" edge. However, Gabriel and his openers put on a great day time show for both the adults and kids at least 13 years of age.

Not one joke from his Comedy Central performance was repeated, although there were a few deviations of them. However, he did not try to tell a previous joke as if it were the first time he told it.

He added a new stage to the levels of fatness. There use to be 5 big, healthy, husky, fluffy and DAMN. Now, the six level, recently discovered as Gabriel puts it: "Oh hell no." You'll have to check out his show to find out the difference between damn and oh hell no. Or wait for his next Comedy Central special which he informed us he was interested in doing.

Here, kitty, kitty.

Have a Better Day

I woke up at 5 ready to get on the road. I dug in my purse for my keys, things often get lost there.

Okay, so there not in my purse, they're probably in the couch. I'm digging around but can't find them. Shit! Shit, shit, shit! I just know I left them in my car. I walked out to my car, yup, there they are sitting in my seat.

I don't know where my spare key at home (I wasn't at home at the time) is so I had to call AAA. Good thing I woke up early to work out otherwise I would have been far to late for work. At least the lady on the phone understood what I was going through. Instead of saying “Have a great day” she ended the conversation with “Have a better day!”

I think she jinxed me!

On my way home to shower and get ready for work, I just pulled off the freeway was almost to my street when a damn cop decided to pull me over! Grr! Seriously, I use to like cops. I support them. But this is the 3rd ticket in less than 2 months for me, and I can't go to traffic school, I don't want to pay it; so, I'm going to fight it.

He wrote the code down, but the code in the little book that he referenced has other stipulations, such as how fast over the speed limit you were going. Apparently this determines how much I owe. Well, the officer did not write the speed limit or my approximate speed on the ticket. Therefore, there is no way to determine how fast I was going. I'm so going to court to fight this that way I don't have to pay it. I just hope that the officer doesn't show up! *crosses fingers*

Wii Says Obese

I just bought a Nintendo Wii on Saturday, I heard about the Wii Fit from online classmates, did some research and it sounded fun. If anything it was an expensive toy that would satisfy my spending needs and maybe even a sorry excuse to get my ass off the couch and doing something for a change.

Tonya and I have been talking for about 3 week now how we were going to start getting up in the morning and hitting the tread mill or the exercise ball. But we have yet too. This all changed on Monday when we hooked up the Wii crawled out of bed at 5:45 am and started rolling.

The Body Test for the Wii fit said I was obese. I knew that I had let my weight get a little out of control and I know that the game can't entirely determine with 100% certainty ones BMI but none-the-less I was delegated Obese.

HUGE reality check.

When I think obese I think rolly pollies. When the stomach sticks out farther than someone’s boobs, or in a guy's case you actually have boobs. Maybe even a double chin, some Cankles. Won't go to the beach because I can't find a bathing suit my size.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I am hear to vouch that there are all sorts of varieties of obese!

I am between 5'4" and 5'5", I have recently (meaning within the last 6 weeks) gained about 7 pounds (I don't know how). But I weigh in at a total of 186. I have always weighed more than what I looked like I weighed. Regardless of what the Wii says, I do have quite a bit of muscle from all those years of playing sports. I have just gotten lazy.

I wear a size 13, depending on the jeans. My boobs stick out farther than my stomach; I'm a 36 DD (that has to account for at least 10 pounds, right? lol). No double chin. They always have 2 pieces in my size and I love wearing them! And maybe only 1 or 2 rolly pollies only when I sit down.

BUT

I am still a bigger girl and it is time to get back to me again so I can finally be happy with me out the OUTSIDE not just the inside.

So, I hope this Wii works because it says I'm obese and don't plan on staying there long!

I'd Like Fries With That

I took Sierra and Savannah to Red Robin before our book release "party" at Borders Friday night.

It just so happens that I am a regular at Red Robin. The last time we were there we made quite an impression on one of the Hostess'.

I mentioned that "I HATE Jake!"

"Hate's a strong word," the Hostess said.

"Oh! I know, but I'm referring to a character in a book," I replied.

"What book?"

"The Twilight series..."

It was all down hill from there. She sat at our table for a few moments while we discussed the book and who we think "Bella" should choose. I, of course, am in love with Edward and I will fight for him 'til the death.

We also had a waiter named Micah that night. I always order the Very Berry Raspberry Limeade. Not because I think the drink is that fantastic but because I like the glass that it comes in and I am looking to expand my collection. So far, I have 8. Three of which I collected that particular night after gaining unofficial permission from Micah.