Mean Motor Scooter

In the spirit of my other photo blogs (here and here) I thought I might catch you all up on my nephew, Mean Motor Scooter (MMS). He is adorable and brought so much life into my family. I wish I didn't live 1,000 miles away from him and could see him more than I do now. Here we are, from birth to present (it took me FOREVER to get a RECENT picture of MMS).

I Needed This Today

E-mail forward: Why Boys Need Parents...

And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like...


1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep..
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Hope you laughed as hard as I did!

Doesn't Step Sound Negative

No puns instead. "Step" is just a negative word. For example:

Step-Mom
Step-Dad
Step-Grandma
Step-Grandpa

... I think you get the picture on which direction I am heading so I will stop naming off every different type of family member.

Pretty soon, and by soon I mean when Cinderella is talking and has friends, she will start to refer to me as her Step-Mom. I blame Disney for giving the word STEP such a negative meaning. Ever since Cinderella, the movie not the baby, came out Step-Mom's haven't exactly been admired nor adored. I suppose my nick naming the step child, Cinderella doesn't help - but it is suiting.

Let's think about this a little bit further... Meredith from the Parent Trap? Rachel in The Uninvited? Clarice in It Take Two? Baroness Rodmilla De Ghent in Ever After? I'm not exactly fighting a fair fight.

I like Mommy, but even then I feel a little bit guilty considering she already has a mommy that loves her and she didn't come from my uterus. Plus, I get dirty looks from everyone, fully equipped with the "how dare you" / "who do you think you are" glare down. Yes, glare down.

I would much rather be referred to as Aunt or Auntie. However, then we would have some explaining to do as to why Cinderella's Aunt married (we're not married yet, but give it another year and a half) her father.

Coffee or Hot Chocolate?

How about both?

Last week/weekend was horrible. In fact, it wasn't like an actual weekend, but an extension to the work week. Here is how things went.

Thursday

Work 7-6
Work 7-12
Sleep

Friday

Work 7-6
Dinner with friends 7-10
Sleep

Saturday

Move 7-2X
Work 3X-12
Sleep

Sunday

Move 8-3X
Visit with friends 3X-7
Sleep

I barely had time to eat, let alone sleep this weekend. I am still worn out. For the first time, I smelled coffee and wanted some! I don't even like coffee. I poured myself a cup and was debating over regular or hazelnut creamer. I came to the conclusion it didn't matter which I choose I would still be gagging this shit down. That's when I saw it. The box of hot chocolate. Hot chocolate? Hot chocolate! But that was too sweet! So, I did what anyone would do. I used the packet of hot chocolate as creamer so now I have a yummy coffee that tastes like it could have came from Starbucks, only it didn't cost me $6.89!!!!

YAY! I know I've said it before. I'm a genius! They should promote me!

All I Want For Christmas - Day 11

I miss my nephew more than I can even explain. Whenever I go shopping, Lover has to physically and mentally keep me away from the little boy section so that I don't get wrapped up in how much I love and miss him.

Papa (My Mom's boyfriend) named him Mean Motor Scooter before he even saw him and it's kind of catchy.

There is no way that I can say no to those pretty blue eyes, this little man will always have a special hold on his Auntie!

All I want for Christmas is...

To spend it with my nephew.

Christie's Wish List:

1. Paid off furniture.

2. My dream home.

3. A nap.

4. My hair done.

5. The new PostSecret book/go to the event.

6. Laser hair removal.

7. A milkshake.

8. Work Out.

9. No student loans.
10. A massage.

11. My nephew.