Awake

I rewatched this movie last night. I saw it about 2 years ago, shortly after it came out on DVD (Maybe that wasn't quite 2 years ago). Anyway, it was around the same time I was to have my wisdom teeth removed. Not really a smart idea, right? Watching a movie about anesthesia awareness just a few short days before undergoing some anesthesia yourself (or something in the same family of). Well, you're right. I was officially freaked out and if my teeth didn't bother the shit out of me, I would have cancelled the appointment.

I went and oh boy did I discover something about myself.

I've always had a high tolerance for drugs and a high tolerance for alcohol. If the directions say to only take 2 aspirin every 4-6 hours I find myself taking 4 every 2-4 hours. If a recipe calls for 1 oz of alcohol I will add 2. Why the hell not?

So, with this awake scare and the notion of my high tolerance I was scared shitless sitting in that chair. I expressed my concern with the dentist. I felt like he blew me off, he didn't seem to take me seriously! Like he looks and listens to scared paranoid people all the time sitting in that chair. I'm not like them! I'm not just paranoid! I have facts and statistics. Why are you looking at me like that? You're expression just went from "I'm blowing you off" to "You need a psychosis."

They injected me with something, I have no idea what it was, my assumption was that it was the stuff they needed to knock me the hell out so that I wouldn't feel or remember a thing! 1 minute goes by, 2 minutes go by. 5 minutes. Nothing. 10 Minutes nothing. Ugh! Shouldn't you be telling me to count backwards from 10 by now? I didn't even get to spit these words out before she placed something over my mouth and I breathed it in for a little bit. I knew it was "laughing gas" and since I have such a high tolerance for mind games and hallucinogens I didn't think this was anything different, I didn't think it would make me laugh.

To this day, I still maintain that I made myself laugh. I was thinking that I should be laughing but nothing was funny, and then she did it. She tripped. She didn't really trip and fall, but she stumbled on her feet and I chuckled. It took me all of 2 seconds to realize that it wasn't funny and I started laughing at myself laughing at her non-funny stumble. See? I made myself laugh, and to this day I still laugh at myself. That is the last thing I remember.

Until...

I felt this terrible sensation in my jaw. It felt like they were ripping it open, like it was connected to one of those machines that Jigsaw made up in the saw movie! Yea! Freaky. Unfortunately, my mind really thought they had my jaw hooked up to one of those. It makes perfect sense, they were removing my wisdom teeth and needed to see. I tried to tell them that it was too tight and they needed to loosen it! That if it was any tighter I was sure my jaw would snap. I was panicking! Desperately panicking and I couldn't move, or do anything!

Then, I realized that they were still working on my teeth!

"Ugh! I'm awake! Stop! I'm awake! Don't do that! I need more drugs!" All these statements unsuccesfully spattered out of my mouth. I couldn't say anything and I was freaking out!

Then, I heard it. I heard the *crunch* the soundof teeth cracking in my mouth. Teeth..Cracking. "You didn't get it all! dumb ass! Pull the rest of the tooth out! It broke, I heard it! I don't want teeth to be there, I don't want to do this again." My cries still not heard.

Then I was finally able to open my eyes and the nurse, who noted my distress, told me I was fine and to calm down. I realized that my mouth and the last what I am sure was only 2 minutes was brought to my attention. My mouth wasn't hooked up to one of those machines, there was just a shit load of gaze in my mouth, and I later found out that he did not leave half of a wisdom tooth in my mouth.

I don't think that I was "awake" during the procedure. But, I am positive the drugs wore off before he was finished and that is why I was somewhat aware of my surrounding at the end of the procedure.

I woke up craving a cigarette and vanilla shake. Then, after a nice 3 hour nap I woke up feeling like I had been reborn and immediatly headed to the bar.

Regardless, while writing my review of the movie Awake, I came to the realization that my nightmares about my teeth cracking are directly related to the last 2 minutes of awareness and hearing the crack of my last tooth being removed from my mouth. I'll be scared for life, but they gave me a T-Shirt that said "It was a Gassszzzzzzz" (It was a Dr. Gass I went to), so I think I'll live and I'm not suing for damages... yet ;)