Weddings are STUPID!

Weddings. Are. Stupid.

Let me explain...

I work weddings ALL the time, I bartend for them. I LOVE weddings. I make LOTS of money at weddings.

I would rather WORK a wedding than be A PART of the wedding.

Lover's best friend is getting married in April and he is one of two groomsmen and the best man. A few weeks ago, they all went out looking for a suit/tux to wear. They didn't really find anything, BUT there was this awesome deal for a tux. It would be like $75 for everything. Isn't that great? It's a wonderful deal and it saves EVERYONE money! YAY! So... They decide they will go back closer to the wedding date and get those...

What happens today?

Ring ring.... ring... ring ring...

"Hi, Baby!"

"Hey, so did you redue the budget?"

I have our finances budgeted out for a year and I am updating it daily or when major things change.

"Yup."

"Where is it?"

Where the hell is this conversation going? I don't know why Lover is so worried about it, it's not like he has ANY access to spend money. I took that away from him. "I forgot it at work yesterday, why?"

"Well, Jeff*, Joe's* best man, got us suits."

"Oh wow, that's great! I mean, he bought them for you guys."

"Well, he bought them, but we have to pay him back."

Now, I didn't even know the amount. Frankly, how much Jeff paid for the suits is irrelevant, because JEFF never should have gone out and made a financial decision without consulting the rest of the group. JEFF needs to take a Business 101 class on how things are handled in the REAL world. Because in the real World, if I don't tell you that I want something, you don't get it for me. AND if you do get it for me, you don't ask me to pay you for it. I didn't want it. If I wanted it, I would have told you. Did I tell you I wanted it? No. Well?

"Oh?"

"Yea, it uhhh..." (I always know when Lover is going to tell me something I don't want to hear because he says uhhhh, well, ummm a lot) "it came out to about $600 so we owe him about $216."

"My ass! We can't afford that. Who the hell does Jeff think he is? He can't just go out and make a financial decision for everyone. I thought you guys all agreed on getting the tux's"

"So did I."

"Well, you need to call Joe and tell him we can't afford it. You need to tell him that Jeff had no right make that decision and if anyone decided to wear suits, then we could have RENTED yours. We don't have the money. I swear if we have to buy this suit, then Joe doesn't get a wedding present. We. Can't. Afford. It. You need to fix this."

"I'll call Joe and just tell him we weren't expecting this."

"Yea, and make sure he knows we CANNOT afford it. And that Jeff had no right doing this."

"Okay, Babe. I am sure he is at work right now, but I'll call him."

I'm still PISSED! It's things like this that make me want to take up smoking again.

* Names changed just in case the rest of the World knows who they are, I want to protect them from being publicly flogged for stupidity! Well, maybe I don't want to protect them from it, but I certainly don't want to be sued for their flogging, if you know what I mean ;)

Awake

I rewatched this movie last night. I saw it about 2 years ago, shortly after it came out on DVD (Maybe that wasn't quite 2 years ago). Anyway, it was around the same time I was to have my wisdom teeth removed. Not really a smart idea, right? Watching a movie about anesthesia awareness just a few short days before undergoing some anesthesia yourself (or something in the same family of). Well, you're right. I was officially freaked out and if my teeth didn't bother the shit out of me, I would have cancelled the appointment.

I went and oh boy did I discover something about myself.

I've always had a high tolerance for drugs and a high tolerance for alcohol. If the directions say to only take 2 aspirin every 4-6 hours I find myself taking 4 every 2-4 hours. If a recipe calls for 1 oz of alcohol I will add 2. Why the hell not?

So, with this awake scare and the notion of my high tolerance I was scared shitless sitting in that chair. I expressed my concern with the dentist. I felt like he blew me off, he didn't seem to take me seriously! Like he looks and listens to scared paranoid people all the time sitting in that chair. I'm not like them! I'm not just paranoid! I have facts and statistics. Why are you looking at me like that? You're expression just went from "I'm blowing you off" to "You need a psychosis."

They injected me with something, I have no idea what it was, my assumption was that it was the stuff they needed to knock me the hell out so that I wouldn't feel or remember a thing! 1 minute goes by, 2 minutes go by. 5 minutes. Nothing. 10 Minutes nothing. Ugh! Shouldn't you be telling me to count backwards from 10 by now? I didn't even get to spit these words out before she placed something over my mouth and I breathed it in for a little bit. I knew it was "laughing gas" and since I have such a high tolerance for mind games and hallucinogens I didn't think this was anything different, I didn't think it would make me laugh.

To this day, I still maintain that I made myself laugh. I was thinking that I should be laughing but nothing was funny, and then she did it. She tripped. She didn't really trip and fall, but she stumbled on her feet and I chuckled. It took me all of 2 seconds to realize that it wasn't funny and I started laughing at myself laughing at her non-funny stumble. See? I made myself laugh, and to this day I still laugh at myself. That is the last thing I remember.

Until...

I felt this terrible sensation in my jaw. It felt like they were ripping it open, like it was connected to one of those machines that Jigsaw made up in the saw movie! Yea! Freaky. Unfortunately, my mind really thought they had my jaw hooked up to one of those. It makes perfect sense, they were removing my wisdom teeth and needed to see. I tried to tell them that it was too tight and they needed to loosen it! That if it was any tighter I was sure my jaw would snap. I was panicking! Desperately panicking and I couldn't move, or do anything!

Then, I realized that they were still working on my teeth!

"Ugh! I'm awake! Stop! I'm awake! Don't do that! I need more drugs!" All these statements unsuccesfully spattered out of my mouth. I couldn't say anything and I was freaking out!

Then, I heard it. I heard the *crunch* the soundof teeth cracking in my mouth. Teeth..Cracking. "You didn't get it all! dumb ass! Pull the rest of the tooth out! It broke, I heard it! I don't want teeth to be there, I don't want to do this again." My cries still not heard.

Then I was finally able to open my eyes and the nurse, who noted my distress, told me I was fine and to calm down. I realized that my mouth and the last what I am sure was only 2 minutes was brought to my attention. My mouth wasn't hooked up to one of those machines, there was just a shit load of gaze in my mouth, and I later found out that he did not leave half of a wisdom tooth in my mouth.

I don't think that I was "awake" during the procedure. But, I am positive the drugs wore off before he was finished and that is why I was somewhat aware of my surrounding at the end of the procedure.

I woke up craving a cigarette and vanilla shake. Then, after a nice 3 hour nap I woke up feeling like I had been reborn and immediatly headed to the bar.

Regardless, while writing my review of the movie Awake, I came to the realization that my nightmares about my teeth cracking are directly related to the last 2 minutes of awareness and hearing the crack of my last tooth being removed from my mouth. I'll be scared for life, but they gave me a T-Shirt that said "It was a Gassszzzzzzz" (It was a Dr. Gass I went to), so I think I'll live and I'm not suing for damages... yet ;)

They Stole 2 Hours From Me

I slept soooo good last night! It didn't take me more than 10 minutes to fall asleep. I never woke up once, not even to go pee. It was great.

That all changed at about 5 am when I was violently awakened by ringing in my ears. I played it off as the whole "someone is talking shit about me, so my ears are ringing" and tried to peacefully go back to sleep. No go. There was this incesant noise and it was penetrating deep into my cerrabellum. It wouldn't go away. After 20 minutes of sleeping for a minute and waking up, then sleeping for a minute and waking up again, I just couldn't take it anymore! I turned to The Man and asked if he heard that noise. Oh thank gosh! So, I am not going crazy yet. I knew I still had a few years left in me before THAT happened.

It was another 20 - 30 minutes before The Man finally got out of bed and went to find out what it was. The second he opened the front door, it was a deeper penetration, a higher pitch, and I couldn't take it. I couldn't even put my hands over my ears to get rid of the noise. Lover come back to bed and says that it was a car! A Car? WTF! That is not a car alarm. How the hell does a car make that kind of noise? They don't!

I try to go back to sleep, but can't. My alarm goes off and instead of getting up I waited for the seond alarm 17 minutes later. I finally got up and went out to find out what the heck was making that sound. I didn't examine the situation long enough to know WHICH car was making the horrible noise, UGH! I can say with almost positivity that the noise was the car horn, like someone laying on the horn. Literally, LAYING on the horn. I better read in the paper tomorrow that someone was murdered in their car at the apartment complex I work at, because I am pissed! It was like somone just put something on their steering wheel to have a constant horn sound. Not Beep, beep, beep. We are talking BBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Without the p, no 'pa.'

I'm tired! My head STILL wont stop ringing, even though the awefullness stopped about 5 minutes before I left for work.

What Are You? Stupid?

I am the first person to admit that I love plastic. Not plastic girls or guys, because they are just lame! I like the plastic that has my finger tips at one end and a bank at the other. You know? Credit cards. Plastic allows me to purchase things, sometimes big things, or as of late little things (like groceries) even though I don't have the money to buy them. Then, I get to pay the money back in monthly payments for a small monthly fee.

So, you might be saying, "Hold your horses, Christie! WHY exactly do you like plastic?"

Good question, Jacob! (I have no idea who Jacob is). I love plastic because it eliminates my need/ability to save money. Why would I save $100 a month for 12 months to buy tires/wheels; WHEN, I could charge $1,200 to a credit card and pay it off monthly for the next 18 months? Do you see where I am going here?

There is a point, I promise, I just needed to give you some background first.

Now, the credit cards I have don't have high balances on them. Actually, I guess high balances would require high limits (which I don't have). Oh, no! Don't worry. I don't have high balances, because I don't have high limits. :D I never pay late (well with the exception of a few times but it wasn't more than a week late and attributed to the fact that I forgot it was due) and consider myself a "responsible" borrower. [insert sarcasm here].

But, I would NEVER, EVER, in a million light years, INCREASE my limits. So tell me why my credit card company took me from a $900 limit to a $2,400 limit. I'm no Einstein, but that is a big leap! I know my credit is good, because I just bought a car and stuff and I saw my score. But still. What are they? Stupid, that's what they are. No bank, in their right mind, would do that! I bet a blonde authorized that move. Not just any blonde, the sleazy, slept her way through management blonde. Go back to Hoe School!

I guess I am kind of excited that my limit was increased, because it lowers my debit to income ratio and I'm trying to by a house. So, that's good. I'm still trying to pay off the debit that I have, and now with $2,400 limit on one card I can help but fantasize about all the groceries, gas, and cell phone bills I can charge to the card; while having "extra money" in my bank account to purchase... Oh I don't know... Shoes, a new wardrobe, new wheels for car, because I have totally wanted to get some since I bought it! OH! And I could darken the tint on my car, get my oil changed (wait that would be a charge) or have a couple fun nights out drinking.

*sigh* The reality of the matter, is now I am going to have to remove ALL credit cards from my wallet to not be tempted into spending more money that I don't have.

I Think The Maids Are Thieves

I am pretty sure the maids that we hire at my company are stealing my stuff. I mean stealing my stuff, not my stuff that belongs to the company, stuff I bought. Food I bought. I am noticing that my Balance Bars are dwindling faster than the rate I am eating them. AND the other day, my chip bag was lower. Yea, exactly. They stacked on some of my Ranch Doritos. Where is anti-chip-thief technology???