I Just Sent You Flowers So I Can Get Laid

I LOVE John Jay & Rich (and Kyle) in the morning. They became my favor tie show after Kid & Ruben (and Corrina) were cancelled, on 101.5, for some bogus and bull shit reason.

First, they are hilarious, self-indulgent, and sound like "regular" people. Plus, they have these segments that make the radio show entertaining.

I start listening to them around 7:30 am while on my way to work, and hate it when their show is over at 10am. I get soooo irritated when the phone rings during this time, because I don't want to miss anything they have to say. UGH! The phone rang this morning and I was talking to this customer. I missed almost this whole segment, but just as I was getting off the phone, I hear the man on their segment from War of The Roses say, "I'm not cheating on you. I just sent you flowers so that I can get laid!"

If you are interested in listening to their morning show, go to their website, also they are available in the following cities:

Phoenix
San Diego
Portland
Tuscon
Colorado Springs
Fort Collins

They Stole 2 Hours From Me

I slept soooo good last night! It didn't take me more than 10 minutes to fall asleep. I never woke up once, not even to go pee. It was great.

That all changed at about 5 am when I was violently awakened by ringing in my ears. I played it off as the whole "someone is talking shit about me, so my ears are ringing" and tried to peacefully go back to sleep. No go. There was this incesant noise and it was penetrating deep into my cerrabellum. It wouldn't go away. After 20 minutes of sleeping for a minute and waking up, then sleeping for a minute and waking up again, I just couldn't take it anymore! I turned to The Man and asked if he heard that noise. Oh thank gosh! So, I am not going crazy yet. I knew I still had a few years left in me before THAT happened.

It was another 20 - 30 minutes before The Man finally got out of bed and went to find out what it was. The second he opened the front door, it was a deeper penetration, a higher pitch, and I couldn't take it. I couldn't even put my hands over my ears to get rid of the noise. Lover come back to bed and says that it was a car! A Car? WTF! That is not a car alarm. How the hell does a car make that kind of noise? They don't!

I try to go back to sleep, but can't. My alarm goes off and instead of getting up I waited for the seond alarm 17 minutes later. I finally got up and went out to find out what the heck was making that sound. I didn't examine the situation long enough to know WHICH car was making the horrible noise, UGH! I can say with almost positivity that the noise was the car horn, like someone laying on the horn. Literally, LAYING on the horn. I better read in the paper tomorrow that someone was murdered in their car at the apartment complex I work at, because I am pissed! It was like somone just put something on their steering wheel to have a constant horn sound. Not Beep, beep, beep. We are talking BBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Without the p, no 'pa.'

I'm tired! My head STILL wont stop ringing, even though the awefullness stopped about 5 minutes before I left for work.

Mondays

I've read many articles about productivity. You know when you're bored at work and have nothing better to do? Then, you start to Google shit about productivity so that if your boss ever asks you why something isn't done you can quote some random study that says smart people surround by bitchy *cough* Mrs. NHJ *cough* employees have trouble getting stuff done. I digress.

Anyway, this particular study that I read said that employees are MOST productive on Tuesdays. Really? Hmm... I think that might be, because we have to catch up on work that we "didn't feel like" doing on Monday.

Today is Tuesday, and I can guarantee that it is not going to be my most productive day of the week. Yesterday, I got a lot of shit done and today I plan on catching up on my other blogs and playing Twitter. I would be playing on Facebook, but the IT department has that blocked right now. :(

It's Tuesday and feels like my Monday.

Cold Hearted. Warm Blooded.

Mice. My fucking workplace has mice! Technically, we only found one mouse, but those fuckers NEVER travel alone. What. The. Fuck! Someone needs to tell me what my damned rights are, because I don't do rodents! Reptiles, bugs, and rodents are a no fucking go for me.

I get to work this morning and head straight to the kitchen to put my lunch in the fridge. I look down and see one of the cockroach holder/sticky things. My office has these throughout the offices too, but they also spray for bugs and I have never seen any bugs. Other than that one instance we had with an angry hive of bees that wouldn't let us outside, so we had to call the Bee Man and it took him like an hour to kill those damned things and get the Queen.

Back to my story. I look down and see the cockroach stinky thing. I think hmm... that isn't suppose to be there. Until I see it. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I take that back, I felt the vile things heinous tale hit the top of my pinky toe before I saw what it was. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAA!!!!! Stuck. The fucker was stuck in the thing. Eww! Eww! Eww! I cried. My make up is ruined, my mascara is smeared on my face, making it appear that I was punched the night before, and I am no longer wearing the eyeliner I had on at 7:59 this morning.

I come to find out that this place has had a problem with mice/rodents/vile, disgusting creatures in the past. Luckily, 2 stray cats made there way over and we started feeding them for at least 5 or 6 years. Well, the cats died (they were run over) and the fucking mice are back. I want a cat! I will go pay to adopted one and have it inside (I won’t be satisfied with an outside cat) if I have to. I mean, I will do it the right way. I want a cat, I NEED a cat. I don't do mice.

A co-worker of mine (not Mrs. NHJ) doesn't like mice, but was sad that fucker was "suffering." Fuck that! I don't feel bad for the disease carrying infestation! At this point I am kind of happy that Mrs. NHJ is around, she is a bitch. More importantly, she is bitch that doesn't like mice/rodents. This means, that something is going to be done. Cause if the Bitch ain't happy, nobody is happy!

Mrs. No Holey Jeans

Recently, I mention Mrs. No Holey Jeans (or Mrs. NHJ) in a post and thought I should explain how said co-worker developed this name.

Now, I work in the oil industry. No one ever comes to our office and when they do they look like a homeless person due to the oil/dirt/grime he or she is covered in. So, there is no need to dress in the business casual attire. Plus, the company does not have a dress code established. Therefore, I see no need to "dress to impress."

Before you Baby Booming judgmentals get on my case about how us youngsters are destroying the work environment and all that jazz, here me out.

I would never come to work in shorts (even though the summer days in Arizona are unbearable). I would never wear sweatpants or anything that looked like a work out uniform. I ALWAYS wear my hair down (only on rare days so I wear it in a bun). I would never leave my house without make-up on. My point? I don't look like some trashy girl. I look presentable and appropriate - not to mention comfortable. Mon-Fri I wear a "business casual" top and never wear T-shirts (unless the company logo is on them AND it's a Friday).

I don't feel comfortable in dresses or skirts. So, I would never wear those to work. Heels are uncomfortable and ruin my feet, so I always wear flip flops and I always wear jeans or capris.

On Fridays, I don't see anything wrong with coming to work in a tank top and "stylish" pair of jeans. You know those jeans that you can buy anywhere, and they have the strategically places holes in them? The ones that you buy that way? I love holey jeans! They just look to worn and comfortable.

Now, it had been a year that I wore a pair of holey jeans on Friday. The Republican, Baby Boomers at my company laughed, but never told me that it was inappropriate.

Then, Mrs. NHJ, who always has to put her nose in everything told me that I was not allowed to wear these jeans to work anymore. *ahem* Excuse me? Yup, The Bitch told me, after a year or my wearing these jeans to work, that I COULD NOT wear them.

Who the fuck is she. Oh! AND to top it off, she told me that my boss (still calling him Ray) agreed. Well, that is funny Mrs. NHJ, because I believe it was just last week that he was joking with me about them and even gave me a pointer on where I might find some more, for a cheaper price. I'm on to you, Bitch!

That, is how said co-worker established the name of Mrs. No Holey Jeans almost 1 year ago today.

This co-worker gets on my nerves, is unreasonable, HAS to have things done her way (even when she isn't the one doing anything in regard to what you are doing), always has an opinion which she thinks is better than everyone else’s, complains that her Coach reading glasses holder is too big, AND lives in the richest, most snobbiest place in AZ.

I finally found out why this old hag was so damned ornery... She used to work for Enron. Which means that she most likely lost most (if not all) of her retirement and will probably be working until she dies. Plus, she's never had kids, been in the oil business FAR TOO long, doesn't like me (even though I have done nothing to her) AND... is the sole reason why I dread going to work every morning.

At one point, she even had the nerve to make a comment that I probably made more money than her. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bitch please! She was serious. I don't know where she gets that shit from!!! She makes AT LEAST double what I make in a year, including tuition reimbursement. She is like 61 years old and been in the oil industry since she was 18. Like a 20 year old makes more than her. UGH!

Dream #2

There are two relevant points in this dream:

1. I pushed my boss.
2. I told Mrs. No Holey Jeans (I'll explain later) to "shut up and listen for once."

An operator and myself were on our lunch break, and for some reason we decided to toss a football back and forth. Now, under no circumstances would be company be okay with us tossing a football back and forth on company property for safety and ass hole reasons. In this dream, our Safety Supervisor (let's call her Laura) was in town. her normal office is in a different state, thank gosh, because I don't know how much I could handle of her fake friendliness. Oh, it is most definitely a fake friendliness; she will jab in the back with a knife faster than you can say OSHA.

Now, Laura happened to see us tossing the football back and forth and came out to write an "incident report" (meaning you fucked up and put yourself or others in harms way) about it. My problem is that she was only going to write the incident about ME. She claimed that the operator was standing in a safe position, but I was not. Laura then went on to show me the several different places I could have been standing that would be safe.

Well, me being me. I choose to argue with Laura because not only was her reasoning completely UNreasonable, but she literally pointed out a safe spot to stand that was not more than 2 feet from me. Now, I was not arguing with her that she was wrong. I was merely asking for an explanation on WHO chooses safe versus unsafe spots? If she had a company policy regarding such issues? And the difference between Spot A and Spot B?

Are you following along? Good.

Now, this dream I was viewing via 3rd person. So, I had my "real life" mind with me and was only watching the events unfold. Kind of like, watching a documentary, of myself.

All of a sudden, my boss (let's call him Ray) and co-worker/bitch (let's call her Mrs. No Holey Jean or Mrs. NHJ) showed up and sided with her! How dare they! Then, the argument on safety all of a sudden turned into an argument of credibility where my opinion was no longer being considered. I felt like I was being treated as 1/2 of a person. The reason I was no longer "credible?" I didn't "dress up" for work. Laura started to make that a safety issue, and Mrs. NHJ was agreeing and my boss was threatening to fire me if I didn't start dressing up. In the middle of all of this I was trying to speak, and say that if they wanted me to "dress up" then they should give me a budget for it, because they don't pay me enough to buy "nice clothes." At some point I think I even asked for a policy.

I couldn't get a word in between Laura and Mrs. NHJ so I finally turned to Mrs. NHJ, looked her square in the eyes and told her to "SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK."

She responded with a hand on the hip, a movement of the head similar to a "oh no you did.n't" motion, while saying "excuse me." At which point, Ray grabbed my wrist. Yea! Grabbed me! At this point, I must have been thinking my job was finished so I pushed Ray away from me and walked off while threatening a law suit.

I only assume that I was going to my office to grab my purse and go home for the day, because I woke up as I walked into the building.

Slasher Dreams

Fair warning now... This one is dousey (i.e. long)!

I had a really weird dream the other night. Well, I had two dreams; one more stranger than the other.

This is what I remember of the dream:

- It took place in a house, that I had never been in, but it was a nice house, one that I could see myself living it.

- There were a lot of people, maybe 8 or 9 or 10. I think I knew who they were in my dream, but I don't remember any faces to know who they were or if I know them in real life.

- I have no idea why they were there.

- We somehow got into playing a "game." I know what you are thinking, maybe a little role playing, or S & M. Nope, I assure you it was nothing fun like that. Maybe it started off as hide and seek, but somehow it turned into a massacre.

- Everyone was cutting off everyone's limbs. Yea, like killing people. I remember I cut off some limbs. Someone was hiding in the kitchen, and for some reason decided to jump on the island (you know how some kitchens have islands). This particular island had that thing dangling from the ceiling that you can hang your pots and pans on. CRASH! It made a loud noise. It was the perfect amount of noise for me (the one hiding in the hallway) to jump out and so this Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon move and slash off said individuals legs with my butcher knife at the knees. YEA! I sliced through this persons legs!

- I remember "sharpening" my knife and saying something like it uses less energy the sharper the knife was. I am pretty sure I felt remorse through this whole thing. Like, I didn't want to kill and chop off everyone's limbs, but if I didn't they would do it to me. So you see? I was in this battle, kind of like the Saw movies, but without the creepy guy who puts all the strangers in the house.

- The dream was cut off by my abrupt awake-ness (I think someone killed me, because I never finished the dream. and you know they say if you see yourself killed during a dream, then you die in real life) through a fight with 2 other people from the house, where we were throwing around butcher knives like swords. I karate hacked off someone’s arm.

What the hell does all of this mean??? I finally decided to go to The Curious Dreamer to "analyze" my dream. You all know how those free analysis works? They take all the "important" words and give you what those words could mean. Then, it is up to you and your personal experiences/life to determine what the dream really means; I guess you do get what you paid for.

This is what I told the dreamer guys my dream was about: "Myself and a bunch of strangers were in house. We started to play a game where we killed each other with butcher knives and chopped off each others limbs."

This is what I get:

Being Killed

* The idea that some person or situation is attempting to take power from you or victimize you, especially mentally or emotionally. For example, dreaming that a co-worker kills you may represent when she got assigned the project you wanted last week, and you're blaming her for your not getting that opportunity.
*A fear of ill will, being taken advantage of, manipulation, or victimization

Branch (came from my word limbs)

*A branch or offshoot, or the branching out of something, can represent:
- Variation
- A divergence or diversification
- Proliferation or multiplication
- A decision or choice
- The idea of things getting more complicated
- Cause and effect
- A tangent
- A closely related topic or matter

Breaking an object (came from my word chopped)

* Breaking an object in anger can mean your emotions about whatever is represented by the object feel extreme or out of control.
* Breaking an object on purpose when not feeling angry could represent a desire or decision to be free of or finished with whatever that object represents in your life.
* Accidentally breaking an object can represent a feeling or fear of making a mistake or making a mess of a certain situation in real life.

Game

* Play, social interaction, competition, dialog. Pay attention to the type of activity, the dynamics between you and other players, and how you feel about what's going on. A game can represent a real-life activity (past, expected future, imagined, etc.) or the dynamics of a real-life situation (such as the dynamics between you and your teammates on a project at work).

Group

* A group of things or people in your real or imagined life
* Belonging or acceptance
* Abundance
* Plurality
* Pay attention to what is symbolized by whatever makes up the group.

House

* A house, apartment, flat, or any place of residence often represents you or your life, even if the dream residence does not resemble your actual residence. The events in the dream residence may represent events in your life. A house can also represent security, comfort, protection, familiarity, or belonging.
* Also consider the mood and condition of the house (a dreary house might represent depression or sadness, a house with missing windows might represent personal boundary issues, etc.) and anything that particularly stands out about the house.

Killing

* Killing or wanting to kill often represents a desire for power or control, often based in feelings of powerlessness. Killing someone can mean:
* You'd like to take power from whomever or whatever that person represents in your real life, perhaps so you can feel less powerless
* You are angry at them in real life
* You're feeling unwilling to deal with the problems or hassles you feel they cause you
* Killing someone in self defense can mean you're feeling attacked somehow (mentally, emotionally, physically) or that you need to defend yourself or stand up for yourself somehow.
* Killing someone accidentally can mean you're afraid you'll accidentally hurt that person, that something you do may be detrimental to them somehow, or that your subconscious mind is thinking things through to make sure this doesn't happen.

Knife (as a weapon)

* Someone threatening you with a knife can represent:
* A feeling or fear of persecution, hostility, aggression, criticism, etc. from by another person or by "people in general"
* A current or recent situation where you feel your boundaries have been crossed or your integrity has been compromised by someone else

Okay, so being killed, I get it. But, they are strangers. So, somehow I feel vulnerable to the people of the World being that they are taking something from me or trying to. Like work taking away my overtime. That is a possibility. Either way, someone(s) are trying to take something from me and that’s not cool.

Branch? Irrelevant! Wait. The idea of things getting more complicated. Maybe those people are making things more complicated for me in an effort to try and take something from me. I see. So, I chop off their limbs in order to stop the complications. It’s kind of like being faced with a wall, and instead trying to break the wall down, you just walk around. Yes, walking around the wall equals chopping of human limbs. Got it!

I definitely chopped off their limbs on purpose. So, that means the desire or decision is free. That’s what I said. I eliminated the wall, and can go back to whatever it is that the people were trying to take from me.

Game. Dynamics. Hmm… Let’s see? I’m lost. This is getting tough.

Group. OH I get it! I am trying to socialize with the people in the game. Maybe they don’t want to, thus they are taking away my socialism (not to mistaken for the political term socialism). So, I hack them to get it back? No that can’t be it.

Yes, the house; the one thing I can’t stop thinking about. It felt to familiar. Like it was my house in the dream. Even though I have never seen it before. Someone might have been trying to take away my home, my security. The house was new. I don’t know I think this might have something to do with the house Lover and I are trying to buy/build. Hmm… Let’s move on.

Killing. Keeping the theme of the house, I must want to control it. Maybe, I am too anxious, and since I am also impatient, so I feel like things are out of my control, like they are playing a game with me. That means the builders are trying to take away my power and sense on controllability. They are throwing is limbs, like money and time and supplies, and instead of excepting this, I chop off those limbs (via giving them what they want, money and time to buy supplies and labor). And well, the knife, the knife must represent my anger and aggression towards them.

*sigh* Glad THAT one is settled.



I went back to sleep, thinking that when I get to work I NEED to write a blog about this! Thus giving me, Dream #2 - Coming Soon to a blog near you (I know, I'm a dork).