I Have a Problem

I've mentioned before that when I sleep I sleep, I am out and I don't like to be bothered! I've been known to curse, throw a tantrum, and even slap Lover in the face. Mind you, I don't remember a thing the next morning.

It's progressivly gotten worse, I should see a sleep doctor or something. Really. Anyone know one?

This morning I woke up in bed, with a vague recollection of how I got there. I walked by myself, but I am pretty sure not before giving Lover a piece of my mind.

So... When I woke up this morning I had a bad feeling. My mind was racing, but I felt guilty. I think I dreamed about being really mean to Lover. I could just tell that I was mean to him and that broke my heart. So, when I woke up I apologized and apologized and asked him to tell me what I did. He didn't. Now my mind is racing at what I possibly could have done, because he always shares with me what I do in my sleep, and usually voluntarily. This time? Nothing. Not a thing.

It HAD to be something pretty bad! Why wouldn't he tell me if it was something that was no big deal?

Something made me angry, and I took it out on Lover. I intend to find out just HOW I took it out on him.

Cold Hearted. Warm Blooded.

Mice. My fucking workplace has mice! Technically, we only found one mouse, but those fuckers NEVER travel alone. What. The. Fuck! Someone needs to tell me what my damned rights are, because I don't do rodents! Reptiles, bugs, and rodents are a no fucking go for me.

I get to work this morning and head straight to the kitchen to put my lunch in the fridge. I look down and see one of the cockroach holder/sticky things. My office has these throughout the offices too, but they also spray for bugs and I have never seen any bugs. Other than that one instance we had with an angry hive of bees that wouldn't let us outside, so we had to call the Bee Man and it took him like an hour to kill those damned things and get the Queen.

Back to my story. I look down and see the cockroach stinky thing. I think hmm... that isn't suppose to be there. Until I see it. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I take that back, I felt the vile things heinous tale hit the top of my pinky toe before I saw what it was. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAA!!!!! Stuck. The fucker was stuck in the thing. Eww! Eww! Eww! I cried. My make up is ruined, my mascara is smeared on my face, making it appear that I was punched the night before, and I am no longer wearing the eyeliner I had on at 7:59 this morning.

I come to find out that this place has had a problem with mice/rodents/vile, disgusting creatures in the past. Luckily, 2 stray cats made there way over and we started feeding them for at least 5 or 6 years. Well, the cats died (they were run over) and the fucking mice are back. I want a cat! I will go pay to adopted one and have it inside (I won’t be satisfied with an outside cat) if I have to. I mean, I will do it the right way. I want a cat, I NEED a cat. I don't do mice.

A co-worker of mine (not Mrs. NHJ) doesn't like mice, but was sad that fucker was "suffering." Fuck that! I don't feel bad for the disease carrying infestation! At this point I am kind of happy that Mrs. NHJ is around, she is a bitch. More importantly, she is bitch that doesn't like mice/rodents. This means, that something is going to be done. Cause if the Bitch ain't happy, nobody is happy!

Slasher Dreams

Fair warning now... This one is dousey (i.e. long)!

I had a really weird dream the other night. Well, I had two dreams; one more stranger than the other.

This is what I remember of the dream:

- It took place in a house, that I had never been in, but it was a nice house, one that I could see myself living it.

- There were a lot of people, maybe 8 or 9 or 10. I think I knew who they were in my dream, but I don't remember any faces to know who they were or if I know them in real life.

- I have no idea why they were there.

- We somehow got into playing a "game." I know what you are thinking, maybe a little role playing, or S & M. Nope, I assure you it was nothing fun like that. Maybe it started off as hide and seek, but somehow it turned into a massacre.

- Everyone was cutting off everyone's limbs. Yea, like killing people. I remember I cut off some limbs. Someone was hiding in the kitchen, and for some reason decided to jump on the island (you know how some kitchens have islands). This particular island had that thing dangling from the ceiling that you can hang your pots and pans on. CRASH! It made a loud noise. It was the perfect amount of noise for me (the one hiding in the hallway) to jump out and so this Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon move and slash off said individuals legs with my butcher knife at the knees. YEA! I sliced through this persons legs!

- I remember "sharpening" my knife and saying something like it uses less energy the sharper the knife was. I am pretty sure I felt remorse through this whole thing. Like, I didn't want to kill and chop off everyone's limbs, but if I didn't they would do it to me. So you see? I was in this battle, kind of like the Saw movies, but without the creepy guy who puts all the strangers in the house.

- The dream was cut off by my abrupt awake-ness (I think someone killed me, because I never finished the dream. and you know they say if you see yourself killed during a dream, then you die in real life) through a fight with 2 other people from the house, where we were throwing around butcher knives like swords. I karate hacked off someone’s arm.

What the hell does all of this mean??? I finally decided to go to The Curious Dreamer to "analyze" my dream. You all know how those free analysis works? They take all the "important" words and give you what those words could mean. Then, it is up to you and your personal experiences/life to determine what the dream really means; I guess you do get what you paid for.

This is what I told the dreamer guys my dream was about: "Myself and a bunch of strangers were in house. We started to play a game where we killed each other with butcher knives and chopped off each others limbs."

This is what I get:

Being Killed

* The idea that some person or situation is attempting to take power from you or victimize you, especially mentally or emotionally. For example, dreaming that a co-worker kills you may represent when she got assigned the project you wanted last week, and you're blaming her for your not getting that opportunity.
*A fear of ill will, being taken advantage of, manipulation, or victimization

Branch (came from my word limbs)

*A branch or offshoot, or the branching out of something, can represent:
- Variation
- A divergence or diversification
- Proliferation or multiplication
- A decision or choice
- The idea of things getting more complicated
- Cause and effect
- A tangent
- A closely related topic or matter

Breaking an object (came from my word chopped)

* Breaking an object in anger can mean your emotions about whatever is represented by the object feel extreme or out of control.
* Breaking an object on purpose when not feeling angry could represent a desire or decision to be free of or finished with whatever that object represents in your life.
* Accidentally breaking an object can represent a feeling or fear of making a mistake or making a mess of a certain situation in real life.

Game

* Play, social interaction, competition, dialog. Pay attention to the type of activity, the dynamics between you and other players, and how you feel about what's going on. A game can represent a real-life activity (past, expected future, imagined, etc.) or the dynamics of a real-life situation (such as the dynamics between you and your teammates on a project at work).

Group

* A group of things or people in your real or imagined life
* Belonging or acceptance
* Abundance
* Plurality
* Pay attention to what is symbolized by whatever makes up the group.

House

* A house, apartment, flat, or any place of residence often represents you or your life, even if the dream residence does not resemble your actual residence. The events in the dream residence may represent events in your life. A house can also represent security, comfort, protection, familiarity, or belonging.
* Also consider the mood and condition of the house (a dreary house might represent depression or sadness, a house with missing windows might represent personal boundary issues, etc.) and anything that particularly stands out about the house.

Killing

* Killing or wanting to kill often represents a desire for power or control, often based in feelings of powerlessness. Killing someone can mean:
* You'd like to take power from whomever or whatever that person represents in your real life, perhaps so you can feel less powerless
* You are angry at them in real life
* You're feeling unwilling to deal with the problems or hassles you feel they cause you
* Killing someone in self defense can mean you're feeling attacked somehow (mentally, emotionally, physically) or that you need to defend yourself or stand up for yourself somehow.
* Killing someone accidentally can mean you're afraid you'll accidentally hurt that person, that something you do may be detrimental to them somehow, or that your subconscious mind is thinking things through to make sure this doesn't happen.

Knife (as a weapon)

* Someone threatening you with a knife can represent:
* A feeling or fear of persecution, hostility, aggression, criticism, etc. from by another person or by "people in general"
* A current or recent situation where you feel your boundaries have been crossed or your integrity has been compromised by someone else

Okay, so being killed, I get it. But, they are strangers. So, somehow I feel vulnerable to the people of the World being that they are taking something from me or trying to. Like work taking away my overtime. That is a possibility. Either way, someone(s) are trying to take something from me and that’s not cool.

Branch? Irrelevant! Wait. The idea of things getting more complicated. Maybe those people are making things more complicated for me in an effort to try and take something from me. I see. So, I chop off their limbs in order to stop the complications. It’s kind of like being faced with a wall, and instead trying to break the wall down, you just walk around. Yes, walking around the wall equals chopping of human limbs. Got it!

I definitely chopped off their limbs on purpose. So, that means the desire or decision is free. That’s what I said. I eliminated the wall, and can go back to whatever it is that the people were trying to take from me.

Game. Dynamics. Hmm… Let’s see? I’m lost. This is getting tough.

Group. OH I get it! I am trying to socialize with the people in the game. Maybe they don’t want to, thus they are taking away my socialism (not to mistaken for the political term socialism). So, I hack them to get it back? No that can’t be it.

Yes, the house; the one thing I can’t stop thinking about. It felt to familiar. Like it was my house in the dream. Even though I have never seen it before. Someone might have been trying to take away my home, my security. The house was new. I don’t know I think this might have something to do with the house Lover and I are trying to buy/build. Hmm… Let’s move on.

Killing. Keeping the theme of the house, I must want to control it. Maybe, I am too anxious, and since I am also impatient, so I feel like things are out of my control, like they are playing a game with me. That means the builders are trying to take away my power and sense on controllability. They are throwing is limbs, like money and time and supplies, and instead of excepting this, I chop off those limbs (via giving them what they want, money and time to buy supplies and labor). And well, the knife, the knife must represent my anger and aggression towards them.

*sigh* Glad THAT one is settled.



I went back to sleep, thinking that when I get to work I NEED to write a blog about this! Thus giving me, Dream #2 - Coming Soon to a blog near you (I know, I'm a dork).

Michael Jackson is Still Alive?

Watch the video and read the story here.

C'mon folks. I know it is hard to let go of a legend like Michael Jackson, but... He is dead, accept it. He didn't fake his death for money, even though we all know that he was broke.

Plus, he would spend some serious jail time for faking his death; talk about some serious fraud cases.

I don't think he is alive. If he was there would be too many people out there (like his doctor, those who did the autopsy, etc.) coming forward to let the scandal out. Michael would have had to pay those people more money than what he would have earned for faking his death.

So, I've said it, Michael is dead, he is not coming back.