18 Years, 4, Months, and 21 Days

18 years, 4 months, and 21 days...

That is how old I was when I moved away from Mom and Dad. I drove, all 1,000 miles, in one shot from Weed, Ca (my hometown) to Phoenix, AZ. It wasn't just the day I moved away from home, it was the day I moved away from my Mom, the woman who had supported me and been there for me every day for the last 18 years, 4 months, and 21 days.

Where is all of this coming from? My 2 years anniversary was on Sunday/Monday. Sunday was the day anniversary of the day I left and 1am Monday morning was the anniversary of the day I arrived in Arizona. Both days are memorable.

It was a big leap of independence. A giant one, one that I wouldn't take back, but might possibly approach in a different way.

18 is young. People who are 18 really are just beginning their baby stages of their life. They think they know the real world, but they don't, because parents try as hard and for as long as they can to shelter their children from the cruelty of the real world. I knew what bills were, paid for my own cell phone, I paid for my own insurance and my own car. Unfortunately, it's not the same.

I do cherish that day. I cried so hard before I left, that I almost didn't leave, I almost post-poned it to the next day. I hugged my Mom so tight. Part of cries wasn't because I was moving, it was because I didn't know when I would be back, when I would see my Mom again. The other part was being afraid. Afraid of failure, and the shame that would come with having to "move back" if I failed. I was confident that wouldn't happen, I have a funny way of making things work. But, the fear was still there.

Then, my Mom's boyfriend did the unthinkable, he gave me money, to help along the way. It wasn't much, but it was enough, and it was the thought that meant the most. I cried harder. Now, they were a mixture of happy tears, sad tears, and scared tears.

I cried on and off for the next three hours. It wasn't until I was south of Sacramento that the tears subsided.

The next time the tears flowed, I was about 250 miles away from Phoenix. The trigger of these tears was a Britney Spears song. (SHUT.UP I'm a female, I can't control my emotions in these times. Plus, I am trying to be sentimental). The words, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman..." played through my speakers. It was that moment that I knew I would persevere, and succeed and that too scared the shit out of me.

I closed a chapter of my life that day, it was the journey to independence. I then started writing a new chapter... the journey of independence.

Cold Hearted. Warm Blooded.

Mice. My fucking workplace has mice! Technically, we only found one mouse, but those fuckers NEVER travel alone. What. The. Fuck! Someone needs to tell me what my damned rights are, because I don't do rodents! Reptiles, bugs, and rodents are a no fucking go for me.

I get to work this morning and head straight to the kitchen to put my lunch in the fridge. I look down and see one of the cockroach holder/sticky things. My office has these throughout the offices too, but they also spray for bugs and I have never seen any bugs. Other than that one instance we had with an angry hive of bees that wouldn't let us outside, so we had to call the Bee Man and it took him like an hour to kill those damned things and get the Queen.

Back to my story. I look down and see the cockroach stinky thing. I think hmm... that isn't suppose to be there. Until I see it. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I take that back, I felt the vile things heinous tale hit the top of my pinky toe before I saw what it was. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAA!!!!! Stuck. The fucker was stuck in the thing. Eww! Eww! Eww! I cried. My make up is ruined, my mascara is smeared on my face, making it appear that I was punched the night before, and I am no longer wearing the eyeliner I had on at 7:59 this morning.

I come to find out that this place has had a problem with mice/rodents/vile, disgusting creatures in the past. Luckily, 2 stray cats made there way over and we started feeding them for at least 5 or 6 years. Well, the cats died (they were run over) and the fucking mice are back. I want a cat! I will go pay to adopted one and have it inside (I won’t be satisfied with an outside cat) if I have to. I mean, I will do it the right way. I want a cat, I NEED a cat. I don't do mice.

A co-worker of mine (not Mrs. NHJ) doesn't like mice, but was sad that fucker was "suffering." Fuck that! I don't feel bad for the disease carrying infestation! At this point I am kind of happy that Mrs. NHJ is around, she is a bitch. More importantly, she is bitch that doesn't like mice/rodents. This means, that something is going to be done. Cause if the Bitch ain't happy, nobody is happy!

28 Day... Cycle

So we all have it (well half, more than half of us do). *sigh* Okay, I'll say it, we're all adults here... Period, shark week, Aunt Flow, bait season, rag time, monthly, personal time, menstrual, Red Sea, and the list goes on.

So, usually before this unholy event occurs, I turn into a raging Bitch. Everything seems to bother me and everyone gets on my nerves. This week has been a tad bit different; instead of getting angry I cry. WHAT?

Prime example:

You know that movie, The Parent Trap? The one with Lindsey Lohan, but not the "cracked out, alcoholic, slut" Lindsey Lohan, the "little girl, I don't know what masturbation is" Lindsey Lohan. Well, it is a movie about twin girls, who don't know they have a twin. One lives with her Mom in London, the other lives with her Dad is Napa, CA. Now WHY the parents would even TRY to do this I have no clue? I mean WHO just abandons their child? Cause regardless of anything that is what that is, abandonment.

I digress...
Anyway, these two meet at camp, figure everything out, and switch places to try and get their parents back together again to be a family.
Okay, all together now: "AAAwww....."

I've seen the movie HUNDREDS of times and could probably tell you the lines of the movie from memory. However, during this showing, every other scene was touching my heart in such a way that my eyes started leaking! I mean, I say eye leakage, because it's not really considered crying when it's against your will. At least it's not in this girls blog!

Needless to say, I am still not entirely sure which one I prefer: Eye Leakage? Or Rage Blackouts?