Love and Booze

2010-11-20T14:02:00.000-08:00

The worst thing you can teach your kids?

"Worry about you and only you!"

Mean Motor Scooter

2010-10-30T12:15:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of my other photo blogs (here and here) I thought I might catch you all up on my nephew, Mean Motor Scooter (MMS). He is adorable and brought so much life into my family. I wish I didn't live 1,000 miles away from him and could see him more than I do now. Here we are, from birth to present (it took me FOREVER to get a RECENT picture of MMS).

Driving Lesson

2010-07-15T08:09:00.000-07:00

Something has really been bothering me lately. I recently moved and in order for me to drive home I have to drive on a two lane road for 10 miles. Now, this two lane road has a speed limit of 50 mph (totally lame and the majority of us do not drive that slow on it), which turns into 60 mph, 65 mph, or 70 mph depending on how brave you are.

Raise your hand if you know what a PASSING LANE is?

Nobody?

Okay, last chance.

A PASSING LANE is the #1 lane, or left hand lane on a road. Now, the purpose of the PASSING LANE is to

1. keep traffic flowing
2. allow faster traffic to pass slower traffic

Now, how many of you know it is illegal to drive in the PASSING LANE if you are not actually PASSING someone?

Now you do.

So, please do everyone on the road a favor, and only use said PASSING LANE when you are passing someone. After you pass someone it is your responsibility and the LAW to move back into the "slow lane" so that traffic can then pass YOU.

Get it? Good!

Attacked

2010-05-19T11:48:00.000-07:00

I went into my bedroom, closed the door, and started getting ready for my nightly shower.
What was that?

I spun around midway of rinsing off my face.

Nothing.

I carefully finished washing and then dryed off. I turned around to place the towel back on the rack and there HE was. THERE was the introduded!

At least this is one of the senarios my brain kept fumbling through last night. Being all alone in a big house can scare a girl! I mean, someone really could have come into the house. What if they did? I don't like being bymyself and this why! My mind starts to wander to bad things happening. I get scared. I even slept with the bedroom door closed last night and Lover had to wake me up when he got off work for me to open it for him.

It's just something I have to get use to... I guess.

I Needed This Today

2010-05-14T14:58:00.000-07:00

E-mail forward: Why Boys Need Parents...

And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like...

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep..
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Hope you laughed as hard as I did!

The Anger Test

2010-05-11T14:30:00.000-07:00

I took an Anger Test. Not one of those from those stupid websites, but from a place I would consider credible.

The results: I'm angry... Shocked?

Your score = 77

What does your score mean?

Overall, your anger level is slightly elevated. You seem to get angry more often than the average individual. Either you have a hot streak or the situations on the test happened to rub you the wrong way. Whatever the case, you should watch out - you might be on dangerous ground. Anger is a firecracker of an emotion, and isn't something you want to overdo. Some things just aren't worth getting worked up about!

I think that any "situation" where people are inconsiderate is going to rub me the wrong way. Common sense people! Common sense.

I Play Chicken

2010-04-23T12:26:00.000-07:00

You know that stoplight in your town that when you come to it, it opens up to another lane, and then once you go through the light that right lane ends? You know those cars that drive through it EVERY single day on their way to or from work? You remember those PAIN in the ASSES who insist on getting in that right hand lane to try and speed up to get ahead of 2 extra cars in order to save 5 seconds on their commute while costing everyone else 30 seconds and some stress and terror?

My job is to eliminate those ASSHOLES one at a time. They KNOW the lane is going to end, they drive it EVERY DAY! Their persistence to get ahead of me, is not quite has strong as my persistence to make sure they do not get ahead of me. For example, this morning:

Am I going to close today? Am I going to close today? I really don't want to reschedule everything! I hope we close today! Red light. Damn it. Look at these stupid cars next to me! I'm not letting them in. Assholes! You know that fucking lane closes! Why are you trying to go straight! Stupid! I'm not letting you. Haha! You'll see. Ooo! Green light.

At this point the car in front of me slowed down as two cars raced ahead of him to merge over. However, there was one lone ranger who thought that it was "her turn" to merge and that I was going to let her over. She was mistaken. I rode the ass of the car in front of me so tightly!

I'm not letting you over stupid blonde bitch! And you can honk your horn all you want, I'm not looking over at you. You know what, Bitch? I have the right away, and I don't have to let you in if I don't want to. I know what you are trying to do, you're in an SUV, you can't intimidate me! I'll play chicken, I won't hit you, you'll hit me, which means your at fault. I don't really feel like going to work today anyway!!! HAHA! That's right, hooker! HIT. YOUR. BRAKES.

At the very moment she was forced to brake, she was not only honking her horn, and turning on her blinkers like I am going to give up the place I fought so hard for to pull over and "talk" about it. Ya right! My iPod then started playing...

I play chicken with the train, play chicken with the train, train. uh huh huh. uh huh huh. You know that I play chicken with the train, play chicken with the train, train. - Cowboy Troy

I couldn't help BUT to blurt out the words and crack up!

Did I mention I did the 25 mile/hour speed limit the ENTIRE 6 miles on the one lane road? That was priceless! I think that blonde bitch is still pissed at me and I'm still laughing!

Doesn't Step Sound Negative

2010-04-09T15:47:00.000-07:00

No puns instead. "Step" is just a negative word. For example:

Step-Mom
Step-Dad
Step-Grandma
Step-Grandpa

... I think you get the picture on which direction I am heading so I will stop naming off every different type of family member.

Pretty soon, and by soon I mean when Cinderella is talking and has friends, she will start to refer to me as her Step-Mom. I blame Disney for giving the word STEP such a negative meaning. Ever since Cinderella, the movie not the baby, came out Step-Mom's haven't exactly been admired nor adored. I suppose my nick naming the step child, Cinderella doesn't help - but it is suiting.

Let's think about this a little bit further... Meredith from the Parent Trap? Rachel in The Uninvited? Clarice in It Take Two? Baroness Rodmilla De Ghent in Ever After? I'm not exactly fighting a fair fight.

I like Mommy, but even then I feel a little bit guilty considering she already has a mommy that loves her and she didn't come from my uterus. Plus, I get dirty looks from everyone, fully equipped with the "how dare you" / "who do you think you are" glare down. Yes, glare down.

I would much rather be referred to as Aunt or Auntie. However, then we would have some explaining to do as to why Cinderella's Aunt married (we're not married yet, but give it another year and a half) her father.

Coffee or Hot Chocolate?

2010-03-29T10:02:00.000-07:00

How about both?

Last week/weekend was horrible. In fact, it wasn't like an actual weekend, but an extension to the work week. Here is how things went.

Thursday

Work 7-6
Work 7-12
Sleep

Friday

Work 7-6
Dinner with friends 7-10
Sleep

Saturday

Move 7-2X
Work 3X-12
Sleep

Sunday

Move 8-3X
Visit with friends 3X-7
Sleep

I barely had time to eat, let alone sleep this weekend. I am still worn out. For the first time, I smelled coffee and wanted some! I don't even like coffee. I poured myself a cup and was debating over regular or hazelnut creamer. I came to the conclusion it didn't matter which I choose I would still be gagging this shit down. That's when I saw it. The box of hot chocolate. Hot chocolate? Hot chocolate! But that was too sweet! So, I did what anyone would do. I used the packet of hot chocolate as creamer so now I have a yummy coffee that tastes like it could have came from Starbucks, only it didn't cost me $6.89!!!!

YAY! I know I've said it before. I'm a genius! They should promote me!

shakes head Some People...

2010-03-17T13:10:00.000-07:00

I have this think with Lover. When ever someone of his race (he is half black and half white) does something wrong/stupid/shameful I shake my head and say, "Your people." I do the same if it's it is one of his family members.

Today while driving on surface streets, this car acted as though he was going to merge into my lane, but it stopped about half way there and wasn't pulling forward. So, I did what any other driver would do, I went around him, which caused me drive half way into the turn lane. I looked behind me as I was pulling away from the vehicle and the vehicle turned it's lights on. I thought FUCK, he is so going to pull me over for driving in the turn lane (even though it was for less than 10 feet).

Well, the undercover didn't care, and when I looked forward, I understood what he was trying to do. He was trying to get traffic to merge in the right hand lane, because other cops were blocking the street. "OH!" I thought. He must have known that I didn't realize and he understood. Apparently a couple of good Samaritans did care. They ran up on my ass, cut off the car behind me, and I heard them hollering to the cop (and I say cop, although I am positive it was US Marshall or something because cops don't drive brown SUVs). Anyway, the "good Samaritans" were hollering for the cop to, "get that bitch," while pointing at my vehicle. At this point I was stopped due to a traffic light causing traffic to back up. The cop rolled up (in the turn lane) and requested that I pull into the turn lane for a second.

At this point, I knew I had done nothing wrong and I wasn't worried. As the "good Samaritan" car approached to pass me I heard, "Yea, get that bitch. Tryin to act stupid!" As the passed I was shaking my head. I mean really? I am in no way going to try and defend myself my saying I am not a Bitch. But, really??? Who the hell goes to lengths like that.

When the "good Samaritans" saw that I was shaking my head and smiling as they passed their demeanor changed and words changed to, "OH! Look at her, we're going to get her." they actually gave me some entertainment for the day. Nothing quite like this has happened to me since I left Weed, CA and even then I probably deserved it. I don't know exactly what they thought they were going to do. It amazes me how people think they can intimidate or scare someone. I was surrounded my 3-5 cops/Marshalls I wasn't acting crazy and I did nothing wrong. Hmm... Let me think about this one... They weren't going to do anything.

They left my sight and the cop pulled back up to my window and said, "I was just waiting for them to leave, so they couldn't bother you. You can go now."

"Thank you, Sir. Have a great day."

I thought of Lover.
*Shakes Head* Some people....

A little Humor

2010-03-03T14:07:00.001-08:00

I started my Business Law class yesterday. It's a online class, how I prefer classes to be taken. In order to "participate" students are required to post at least 2 "substantive" posts on at least 4 days for a total of 8 posts.

Sometimes Professors will give a student credit if he or she posts 8 substantive posts in the week. THIS Professor is clearly against that as he states "The participation requirement is that you must have at least 2 substantive posts on 4 separate days to receive full credit. You cannot have 8 substantive posts in one day and receive full credit."

Participation is not something I care too much about, it's not worth a lot of points and to me not that important. In other words I am lazy and only usallu contribute enough to "get by" with an A. I am also known to be one of those students who posts 8 messages on the last day pertaining to various topics in relation to the class and cross my fingers hopeing the Professor wont notice or care.

This Professor, after stating 8 posts on the last day does not count, continues on by stating, "You may, however, have 28 substantive posts with at least 2 on three days and 22 on the 4th day and receive full credit."

That above statement cracked me up and continues to do so as I can't help but imagine myself trying to scramble on the last day of class to post 22 messages that substantive and relevant to the course material. That would of course me assuming I bothered to post on the prio 3 days.

I think I might actually be forced to participate in this class and the Professor has already, in his own way, motivated me to want to. Plus, I like Business Law and I might actually learn something new for a change.

Night Baby

2010-02-22T07:49:00.000-08:00

I love Cinderella; she is the light of both mine and Lover’s life. However, I still feel like I am entitled to strongly dislike her and specific points in time.

This weekend Cinderella was AWFUL! Horrible, horrible, horrible. She made it VERY easy to NOT miss her after being dropped off at Baby Momma’s house.

She woke up every hour from midnight until 3. In which she would not go to sleep until she was picked up and rocked back to sleep. It was at 3 that I finally gave in and just laid her on my chest and went to bed myself. She feel asleep, I fell asleep and all was well. I woke up sometime between 5:30 and 6:00 in the morning, put Cinderella in her crib and passed out. Cinderella woke up sometime around 7 and refused to go back to sleep.

She was NOT my favorite person this weekend. I still don’t think I miss her much right now.

60 Days

2010-02-09T07:55:00.000-08:00

It's taken me awhile to be able to talk about this.

Last Friday, actually, I believe it was the Friday before last we got a phone call from our builder representative. 60 days she tells me. She tells me the house will be done in 60 days. That is CRAZY! Lover and I expected that they would be done with the house in June, which worked out perfectly since out lease is up the end of March.

Perfect timing because after our lease, we were going to go live with his Mom until the house was done and save money. Now? It looks like the house is going to be done around the same time that our lease is up. Maybe even a little after. So, the plan is to stay with his Mom only until we close escrow. So, that will only be about 2 weeks of saving money for us.

Let me tell you for SURE. That now we are at about 50 days away from being Home Owners my mind can't think of anything but the negative. What if the loan falls through? What if we can't close escrow when the builders says we need to close? What if? What if? What if?

UGH! My stomach is in constant butterfly mode and it hasn't made it's way back up the ladder since it dropped 2 Friday's ago. We should be getting some good news tomorrow and I am SOOO looking forward to having that in my hands.

I Just Don't Like It

2010-02-08T08:55:00.000-08:00

I'm talking about feet. I just don't like them.

I don't want to be touched by feet, I don't want your feet touching me. The only thing that I find acceptable is someone else rubbing my feet. And let me tell you! It wasn't until I was 16 that I had my first pedicure and even allowed that. Now, that I have Lover, he is obligated to rub my feet at least twice a week!

Back to my point...

I just can't explain why I don't like them. Maybe it is the fact that almost every foot I have ever seen had some sort of "crust" on it and I don't want that "crust" to scratch me. Or it could be that feet are just ugly. Or maybe it's because they stink. OR because they sweat all grossly.

Regardless, Lover KNOWS I don't like feet. He KNOWS I don't want feet touching me. We have been sleeping in the same bed for over 6 months now, he KNOWS to keep his feet away! BUT, knowing Lover is to love Lover. I don't think he will EVER stop putting his feet on me to get a "reaction."

At first, I think he did it, because to "test" me. Maybe he thought I wasn't serious about not liking feet and he wanted to catch me off guard to see if I would still scream and snatch my feet away. I bet after a few months he believed that I truly didn't like feet, but THEN being a man, he wanted to "fix" me. You know? Make it so that I wouldn't dislike feet anymore.

So, he continued to put his feet on my ankle, my feet, my thigh, my calf, etc. in hopes that I would "grow out of it." Well, it's been almost 6 months and I haven't nor will I GROW out of not liking feet. And now, he is just irritating me with false promises that he will stop doing it on purpose, and lies that he "didn't mean to."

It's just plain irritating and I wish he would stop. But he wont. *sigh*

Weddings are STUPID!

2010-02-05T08:29:00.000-08:00

Weddings. Are. Stupid.

Let me explain...

I work weddings ALL the time, I bartend for them. I LOVE weddings. I make LOTS of money at weddings.

I would rather WORK a wedding than be A PART of the wedding.

Lover's best friend is getting married in April and he is one of two groomsmen and the best man. A few weeks ago, they all went out looking for a suit/tux to wear. They didn't really find anything, BUT there was this awesome deal for a tux. It would be like $75 for everything. Isn't that great? It's a wonderful deal and it saves EVERYONE money! YAY! So... They decide they will go back closer to the wedding date and get those...

What happens today?

Ring ring.... ring... ring ring...

"Hi, Baby!"

"Hey, so did you redue the budget?"

I have our finances budgeted out for a year and I am updating it daily or when major things change.

"Yup."

"Where is it?"

Where the hell is this conversation going? I don't know why Lover is so worried about it, it's not like he has ANY access to spend money. I took that away from him. "I forgot it at work yesterday, why?"

"Well, Jeff*, Joe's* best man, got us suits."

"Oh wow, that's great! I mean, he bought them for you guys."

"Well, he bought them, but we have to pay him back."

Now, I didn't even know the amount. Frankly, how much Jeff paid for the suits is irrelevant, because JEFF never should have gone out and made a financial decision without consulting the rest of the group. JEFF needs to take a Business 101 class on how things are handled in the REAL world. Because in the real World, if I don't tell you that I want something, you don't get it for me. AND if you do get it for me, you don't ask me to pay you for it. I didn't want it. If I wanted it, I would have told you. Did I tell you I wanted it? No. Well?

"Oh?"

"Yea, it uhhh..." (I always know when Lover is going to tell me something I don't want to hear because he says uhhhh, well, ummm a lot) "it came out to about $600 so we owe him about $216."

"My ass! We can't afford that. Who the hell does Jeff think he is? He can't just go out and make a financial decision for everyone. I thought you guys all agreed on getting the tux's"

"So did I."

"Well, you need to call Joe and tell him we can't afford it. You need to tell him that Jeff had no right make that decision and if anyone decided to wear suits, then we could have RENTED yours. We don't have the money. I swear if we have to buy this suit, then Joe doesn't get a wedding present. We. Can't. Afford. It. You need to fix this."

"I'll call Joe and just tell him we weren't expecting this."

"Yea, and make sure he knows we CANNOT afford it. And that Jeff had no right doing this."

"Okay, Babe. I am sure he is at work right now, but I'll call him."

I'm still PISSED! It's things like this that make me want to take up smoking again.

* Names changed just in case the rest of the World knows who they are, I want to protect them from being publicly flogged for stupidity! Well, maybe I don't want to protect them from it, but I certainly don't want to be sued for their flogging, if you know what I mean ;)

Alzheimer's

2010-01-27T07:17:00.000-08:00

I remember, back in the day, when people used to say, "Alzheimer's" whether in a movie or standing right next to me. I would have sworn on my Nintendo (cause that's how I rolled) that they said, "old- timers." Yes, old timers. Doesn't it make since. Old people. Time. Old people? Time?

It must be just me.

Is It Safe to Scream?

2010-01-19T08:14:00.000-08:00

I know. I am getting a little redundant by repeating the same thing over and over again.

But.

I am truly tired of my job. I am tired of it. Sick of it. If it wasn't for that little (okay not so little) thing called money, I would have quit months ago. Mrs. NHJ is more of a bitch and I just can't take it anymore. Can't. Take. It. Any.More.

Oh I just want to get into the house so that I no longer have to worry about a mortgage company wants a 2 year job history.

I need a career change. I need to get out of the oil business and move on to something much better.

I never have been the type of person who liked listening to other people. I guess deep down I have always known that I would only be truly happy working for myself.

I have a few more months to decide about this career change.

Awake

2010-01-18T14:09:00.000-08:00

I rewatched this movie last night. I saw it about 2 years ago, shortly after it came out on DVD (Maybe that wasn't quite 2 years ago). Anyway, it was around the same time I was to have my wisdom teeth removed. Not really a smart idea, right? Watching a movie about anesthesia awareness just a few short days before undergoing some anesthesia yourself (or something in the same family of). Well, you're right. I was officially freaked out and if my teeth didn't bother the shit out of me, I would have cancelled the appointment.

I went and oh boy did I discover something about myself.

I've always had a high tolerance for drugs and a high tolerance for alcohol. If the directions say to only take 2 aspirin every 4-6 hours I find myself taking 4 every 2-4 hours. If a recipe calls for 1 oz of alcohol I will add 2. Why the hell not?

So, with this awake scare and the notion of my high tolerance I was scared shitless sitting in that chair. I expressed my concern with the dentist. I felt like he blew me off, he didn't seem to take me seriously! Like he looks and listens to scared paranoid people all the time sitting in that chair. I'm not like them! I'm not just paranoid! I have facts and statistics. Why are you looking at me like that? You're expression just went from "I'm blowing you off" to "You need a psychosis."

They injected me with something, I have no idea what it was, my assumption was that it was the stuff they needed to knock me the hell out so that I wouldn't feel or remember a thing! 1 minute goes by, 2 minutes go by. 5 minutes. Nothing. 10 Minutes nothing. Ugh! Shouldn't you be telling me to count backwards from 10 by now? I didn't even get to spit these words out before she placed something over my mouth and I breathed it in for a little bit. I knew it was "laughing gas" and since I have such a high tolerance for mind games and hallucinogens I didn't think this was anything different, I didn't think it would make me laugh.

To this day, I still maintain that I made myself laugh. I was thinking that I should be laughing but nothing was funny, and then she did it. She tripped. She didn't really trip and fall, but she stumbled on her feet and I chuckled. It took me all of 2 seconds to realize that it wasn't funny and I started laughing at myself laughing at her non-funny stumble. See? I made myself laugh, and to this day I still laugh at myself. That is the last thing I remember.

Until...

I felt this terrible sensation in my jaw. It felt like they were ripping it open, like it was connected to one of those machines that Jigsaw made up in the saw movie! Yea! Freaky. Unfortunately, my mind really thought they had my jaw hooked up to one of those. It makes perfect sense, they were removing my wisdom teeth and needed to see. I tried to tell them that it was too tight and they needed to loosen it! That if it was any tighter I was sure my jaw would snap. I was panicking! Desperately panicking and I couldn't move, or do anything!

Then, I realized that they were still working on my teeth!

"Ugh! I'm awake! Stop! I'm awake! Don't do that! I need more drugs!" All these statements unsuccesfully spattered out of my mouth. I couldn't say anything and I was freaking out!

Then, I heard it. I heard the *crunch* the soundof teeth cracking in my mouth. Teeth..Cracking. "You didn't get it all! dumb ass! Pull the rest of the tooth out! It broke, I heard it! I don't want teeth to be there, I don't want to do this again." My cries still not heard.

Then I was finally able to open my eyes and the nurse, who noted my distress, told me I was fine and to calm down. I realized that my mouth and the last what I am sure was only 2 minutes was brought to my attention. My mouth wasn't hooked up to one of those machines, there was just a shit load of gaze in my mouth, and I later found out that he did not leave half of a wisdom tooth in my mouth.

I don't think that I was "awake" during the procedure. But, I am positive the drugs wore off before he was finished and that is why I was somewhat aware of my surrounding at the end of the procedure.

I woke up craving a cigarette and vanilla shake. Then, after a nice 3 hour nap I woke up feeling like I had been reborn and immediatly headed to the bar.

Regardless, while writing my review of the movie Awake, I came to the realization that my nightmares about my teeth cracking are directly related to the last 2 minutes of awareness and hearing the crack of my last tooth being removed from my mouth. I'll be scared for life, but they gave me a T-Shirt that said "It was a Gassszzzzzzz" (It was a Dr. Gass I went to), so I think I'll live and I'm not suing for damages... yet ;)

My Average

2010-01-13T12:25:00.000-08:00

Since September of 2007 I have averaged 1 ticket every 3 to 4 months. *sigh* It started with my ticket in September, speeding.

I'm a consistent, and constant speeder. It's like second nature to me. I HAVE to be in front of everyone. Then, if I ever make it to the front, I speed up to make sure there is no one else there. It's a competition that I am constantly battling and trying to beat. Anyway I was on my way to Sacramenton (from Weed) to drop my friend off at the airport. It's 300 miles and a 4 hour drive, I was determined to make it in 3. Let's not forget that it was midnight and by the time I was pulled over it was almost 2 in the morning. Plus, we were in the middle of no where. The middle of no where at 2 in the morning!!! The stupid cop should have been at Denny's, not writing inconsequential tickets to innocent drivers just trying to get somwhere. Plus, he and I were the ONLY people on the road. I made it in 3 1/2 hours. I went to traffic for this one

I digress...

Ticket #2 came the end of January. I was moving from one apartment to the other and a stupid camera, that I didn't even know was there, flashed and gave me a STUPID ticket! I went to traffic school for this one. Before all you letter of the law's start telling me that you can't do traffic school so close to one another. My first ticket was CALIFORNIA, my second was ARIZONA. I was allowed to do it. Now, something that I didn't realize at the time, photo radar tickets DO NOT count as points or go on your record. It is just a stupid way for the city to collect money. So, basically I paid MORE money to go to driving school than it would have cost me to just pay off the ticket, and it didn't matter. Thus, I hindered my ability to go to traffic for the next 2 years in Arizona.

Ticket #3 was in March-April. I was pulled over and got a Gore Lane violation. For those of you who don't know what the Gore Lane is... It is the triangle part of the road that isn't a lane but helps those entering the freeway to get on the freeway. I illustrated it below:

As you can see, the Gore Lane isn't actually a lane as it is an area. They named it after some Officer Gore who was hit and killed while pulling someone over in this area.

Obviously, I couldn't go to traffic school for this infraction. Luckily, it is only worth 2 points, and in AZ you're allowed to have 8 in a year. Woot Woot!

My third ticket? Photo radar. Fourth? Photo radar. It's not that I didn't see them, or know to slow down it is more that I wasn't paying attention and FORGOT to slow down. I thin kone was at 4 in the morning when I got off work.

Fifth? That's easy. It was in California, Decemeber 2008. The cop wrote me for 120 in a 65. Lying Bitch! I know I was speeding. Maybe 90 or so. But I wasn't driving that fast. In fact, I have a govenor in my car that wont even let me drive faster than 110. I called her a liar and she was pissed! dumb bitch cop! She lied. I got the proof on the govenor and maximum speed limit. Fought it in court, which cost me 2 vacation days, 3 bartending jobs, 2 hotel, and gas there and back twice. PLUS, I had to pay 1,800 in court fees and fines to hold my spot in court. The judge ignored everything I presented and still found me guilty. he obviously needs to go back to school , becuase the evidence clearly stated that I was innocent and the cop was a lying, cum guzzleing whore.

Sixth? Was again for speeding. Well, i wasn't speeding. I was tricked into rear ending someone so the cop wrote me a ticket for failure to control speed to avoid an acident or some shit like that.

In June of 2009 I got an airplane ticket! yea AIRPLANE! Can you believe my fucking luck? The CHP airplane paced me, and radioed down to a partol unit who pulled me over and wrote me the ticket. Luckily, it was 1 1/2 years after the first time I did traffic school and I was able to get rid of that one ASAP!

I was doing soooo good! No tickets for a long time (long for me). The other day I was thinking to myself that I was about due for a ticket. Isn't it funny that I remind myself when I am going to get a ticket. I thought to myself, that's sad!

Well, my luck ran otu yesterday on my way home from work! UGH!

I was driving home, minding my own business in the car pool lane, when BAM! Cop! Damn it! Stupid! Why did he have to pull me over? Asshole! The funny thing was he was the one who gave me the ticket for the failure to control speed, yadda yadda yadda. Jerk. So, the ticket costs $388 and 2 points. Dumb! The worse part is? I can't remember exactly WHEN it was that I did traffic school the last time in AZ. It would be WAY cheaper if I could just do traffic school! But I am not sure when that was! I have until February 17th to figure it out!

... and Then It Hit Me

2010-01-08T10:17:00.000-08:00

More often lately I have been thinking about kids.

Having them.
How I want mine to turn out.
Why?
When?
How many?
Gender, etc...

When I was younger. I ALWAYS wanted to have a girl. "Girls are easier," I told myself, "Boys are complicated." Shows how much a 6 year old knows. At one point I had it planned out. I would have 1 boy, wait 3 months, get pregnant, have another boy, wait 2 years, have twin girls. Then, down the road (5 or 6 years later) I would have a baby boy - If I still wanted kids. You see the 2 older boys would protect the twin girls and then the youngest boy would be my "momma's boy."

Then, I saw a psychic and she told me I would have 3 kids, which stills doesn't clarify anything for me.
Am I going to give birth to 3 kids?
Am I going to marry someone who has 3 kids?
Am I going to adopt 3 kids?
Or a combination of any of the above?

So... I have made up my mind that I definitely want a boy. I could only have boys and be completely and utterly (or is it udderly) happy. In other words... I don't want girls. Lover wants girls, but he has a daughter, Cinderella.

For the longest time I was confounded as to what changed between that 6 year old, that girl at the psychic, and the woman I see in the mirror today.

... and then it hit me. I always KNEW. I say why and am reminded by why almost EVERY day.

I never. ever. want to put any daughter of mine through half of the torture, stress, and drama that I had to endure through my childhood. No. I don't care that I was not one of "cool" kids. No. It doesn't change who I am today. But guess what? It doesn't mean that it was any easier THEN.

Girls... Are bitches.

It's true. We are a very cruel, devious, selfish, and... bitches. Let's go back to when you were in school...

Who did you want to hang out with? "The popular girls." At the same time those were the girls who would spit in your shoes, steal your lunch, and frame YOU for stealing the test answers. Who the hell did they think they were? As hard as that is, it STILL isn't the whole reason girls are bitches, there's more!

We don't care how about other's feelings and we will do/say anything we can in order to boost our selves up on the pedestal of life. It's all bull shit. I know what you are saying. "Not ALL girls" You're wrong. Yes, it is all girls because if there is a female who didn't act like I am describing, they would not be a girl - they would be a woman or a young woman.

I don't want to have a daughter who is worried about how "fat" she is, just because she hasn't grown into her body yet.

I don't want to have a daughter who is worried about wearing designer clothes and the latest trends because it's what "her friends" are doing. She looks just as beautiful in $20 jeans as she does in $100 jeans.

I don't want my daughter to be laughed at, made fun of, or cry because of those cruel girls in the world. Most importantly I don't want a daughter to make fun of, make someone cry or be one of bitchy cruel girls in the world.

I know what you are going to say next. You can raise your daughter to not be any of the above. You're wrong. It is inevitable that every girl will take this treacherous journey into the cruel and unusual punishment we call childhood. We can only guide our children, show them the right way... We cannot force them down a path. From day 1 they will be traveling alone.

Boys have it easy. No worries about what they wear or how clean it is. No preconceived notions on personality or looks. They are accepted for who they are and that's it. I want boys.

The Truth About Men

2010-01-06T13:47:00.001-08:00

Part 1.

They are selfish.

Broken Teeth

2010-01-04T10:10:00.000-08:00

Almost all of my nightmares revolve around my teeth. I am one of those people you hate, who always had straight teeth, and never needed braces. In fact, I once proved to someone who had braces that my teeth were straighter than his by biting into a styrofoam cup. He started it and wanted to know, I could care less, and after we compared cups, mine were straighter.

So, I'm a little proud, but I never brag or bring it up unless someone else does first - with the exception of this blog.

I once dreamed that by biting into an apple my bottom teeth broke off in half. I woke up crying in the fetal position.

Last night, I had a similar dream. I can't remember what I was doing. It felt like I was decorating someone's home, but I was at work at the same time, so who knows! All day, in the dream, my top front left (my left) tooth was bothering me. Lunch time finally came. I sat down to start chowing down and my tooth was loose, so I pulled it out. I mean, it just came right out root and all and it didn't even hurt. It was like pulling the pen out of the cap. Weird, right? In the dream, I had some strange notion that every adult looses their "adult" teeth and grow back knew ones. Finally, I woke up.

When I first woke up I remember being a little baffled. Most dreams feel weird and I woke up thinking I was still in my dream and lost all my memory from the time my tooth broke until I woke up in bed. Then, I remembered that I lost my damn tooth! And then I remembered that I was WRONG! You're not suppose to loose your adult teeth and they don't grow back! Panic insured. I felt my upper teeth with my tongue. My tooth was still there. *sigh* It was just a dream, I told myself and lay my head back down to sleep. Not before reaching up with my finger and feeling my tooth, just in case my tongue was in on it. :P

Does this mean I'm getting older quicker?

2010-01-02T06:23:00.000-08:00

The holidays just kind of FLEW by! I mean one day it was Halloween, then the next day it was Thanksgiving and then Christmas and finally New Years.

WOW! What a week right? It actually took about 2 months. It went by crazy fast. I remember when it seemed like it took FOR.EVER before Thanksgiving came, and even LONGER to make it to Christmas!

I guess as we get older time goes by much faster. *sigh*

I am glad they came, but I am also glad to know that the holidays are OVER. It's back to normal like we go!

This Year...

2010-01-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

It's New Years Resolution time!!! Have you thought about what you are going to accomplish this year? You have a whole year to do it!!!

2009 was actually the first year that I kept my resolution. Since I was 13 I have had the same resolutions:

1. Loose weight

2. Eat less sweets.

3. Don't eat out often.

4. Quit smoking.

5. Stretch more.

Can you guess what my resolution was for last year?

To quit smoking.

And I did it! Around June time I drew in my last breath of Kool's Super Long and exhaled into a new life. I don't notice any CHANGES to not smoking, expect for the noticeable 5-10 pounds I put on. Sucks right? But the alternative is lung cancer, so I guess I'm still doing pretty good for myself. I really have Lover to thank for not smoking. I mean, he isn't a smoker; so I didn't smoke around him, and then I started "hiding" the smoking (he thought I quit in March) and then in June we moved in together. I figured there was NO WAY I would be able to live with him and be a smoker and think he wouldn't figure it out soon. So, I quit. Cold turkey. I guess I loved Lover more than I loved cigarettes.

For this years resolution I had to think about it for a long time. Not a LONG time, but I mean, I really put some thought into it.

Last year, in the beginning or the year, I read a lot of books. I like to read smutty trashy romance novels. OH! And I had the pleasure of reading the entire Twilight series. YIPPE! So, I would like to read a lot more.

In 2009, I also discovered what it felt like to fall in love. Even more importantly, I discovered what it felt like to BE loved. To truly be loved and be held by warm and loving hands. I have no doubts this spirit will carry out throughout the rest of mine and Lover's life.

If you haven't figured it out already... Lover and I are buying a home. The home buying process is STRESSFUL and I HATE having to deal with it. In the end, I just want to be in my home, curled up in my new bed and drinking lots of wine. :P So, this why I have decided to dedicate my entire year to this house. By the end of the year, I want to not only be living in, but have my home decorated to my liking so that in 2011 the only thing I have to worry about it where I put the wine glasses to dry! :P

I'll Never Do That Again

2009-12-28T07:55:00.000-08:00

It is surprisingly difficult to come up with 1 thing each day that you want, especially when everything you want can be solved with only one wish, on one day - lots of money!

So, I thought that maybe I would do this again next year. Unlikely! I will keep to my normal sporadic posts, and maybe instead of 1 a day I will just accumulate one list and get it all off my chest in one post.

I hope everyone's Christmas was wonderful and you got everything that you asked for.

The next holiday on our list, New Years! Yup, the biggest drinking holiday of the year (don't we say that about every holiday?).

What's your New Years Resolution?

All I Want For Christmas - Day 25

2009-12-25T03:00:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the final edition of All I Want for Christmas.

Today all I want for Christmas is:

To be with my family.

I hope you all have a wonderful and happy Christmas!

Christie's Wish List:

All I Want For Christmas - Day 14

2009-12-16T09:15:00.001-08:00

Now, I am going to get into some selfish, vein, and stereotypical stuff.

Last night, Lover and I went on a hunt for ice cream! We decided that A&W was going to be the best we get. Yumm, right? One better our A&W is an A&W AND a KFC, double yumm!

We pull up in the drive-thru, because like I was going to put on a bra to go inside at 10 at night! I knew EXACTLY what I wanted!

"Can I have the biggest root beer float you have, please?"

The voice spat back at me, "I'm sorry we no longer sell A&W products."

Me, "WHAT!?"

Lover, "Huh? Oh it's all changed!" points to the menu.

Me: "HUH? Ugh! What the fuck?"

Lover to the speaker lady, "Do you know where other A&W's are?"

The Bitch spat back out, "They're all on the west side. 75th ave and Dunlap or Thunderbird."

WOW! Like I am going to drive all the way over there!!!! That would be like a 60 minute drive for some ice cream! Ugh! we ended up going to Safeway and getting ice cream, hot fudge, whipped cream, and nuts. I had a BIG bowl.

This morning I didn't feel do hot! I felt ROUND and blubbery, and like I needed to lay off food for a month. Leading me to the 14th item on my wish list...

All I want for Christmas is...

To loose 20 pounds!

Christie's Wish List:

1. Paid off furniture.
2. My dream home.
3. A nap.
4. My hair done.
5. The new PostSecret book/go to the event.
6. Laser hair removal.
7. A milkshake.
8. Work Out.
9. No student loans.
10. A massage.
11. My nephew.

12. Get caught up.
13. Motivation.

14. Loose 20 pounds

All I Want For Christmas - Day 13

2009-12-16T09:08:00.000-08:00

Just over a week ago I started another course on the journey to obtaining my MBA. With each class I am reminded of how UNmotivated I am to actually go to school. In fact, the only motivating me to continue my education and get an MBA is:

1. I can't afford to pay back my student loans, just yet.

2. The job market sucks and everyone is wanting an masters, not a bachelors! BOO!

BUT... I still can't afford to pay back my student loans, so I have no choice BUT to continue with school.... So for the 13th item on my wish list...

All I want for Christmas is...

Motivation for this class and all coming classes!

Christie's Wish List:
1. Paid off furniture.

2. My dream home.

3. A nap.

4. My hair done.

5. The new PostSecret book/go to the event.

6. Laser hair removal.

7. A milkshake.

8. Work Out.

9. No student loans.

10. A massage.

11. My nephew.
12. Get caught up.

13. Motivation.

All I Want For Christmas - Day 12

2009-12-16T09:04:00.000-08:00

YIKES! I let myself get far behind!

I guess it has been a busy week and I've had lots of things to do and get caught up on. SO! I guess that leads me to #12 on my wish list.

All I want for Christmas is...

To get caught up!

Christie's Wish List:

12. Get caught up.

You can't be in the club anymore!

2009-12-11T09:23:00.001-08:00

We interrupt this Christmas Blog for one of my tangents....

Remember back in the day when you and your friends started "secret club." The kind that met on Sunday afternoons when all the Mom's gathered for their weekly book club meeting to talk about the latest book. Only, now that you are able to read and you remember the sounds they made your questioning whether or not they were talking about a book or sex.

I bet you remember the exact Princess Barbie sheet you draped over your dresser and bed to make little fort and the exact color of gel pen you used to make the "NO BOYS ALLOWED" sign that you pinned to the Princess Barbie sheet with scotch tape, because you weren't trusted with anything else.

Remember when Becky promised she would bring cookies for everyone, and you could already feel the gooey deliciousness in your mouth, only to find that Becky didn't come to the meeting, which inadvertently left you with Sarah's crummy crackers and cheese? So, you being the leader of the group decided that Becky was kicked out of the club.

OH Ooorr! Do you remember when everyone took a task to do to help the club get better. Sarah had to bring stuffed animals to guard the fort, you had to type up the club rules (because only a REAL club had rules), and Jessica was assigned to bringing extra sheets to expand the fort in the hallway? Yea! I bet you also remember when Sarah forgot to bring the guard animals and how upset you were and that you also KICKED HER OUT OF THE CLUB!

This is a classic example of the "You hurt my feelings, so now I am going to hurt yours MORE" attitude. I thought everyone moved past this in 6th grade. Apparently, we didn't, and apparently it is following us all the way through the completion of our MBA.

The degree program I am completing requires team assignments (luckily it's the same team throughout the class). Generally, teams handle the assignment by splitting up the work, submitting it on a early date, and one person compiles it all, edits it and turns it in. It's a full proof method to an A. However, sometimes shit happens, it's inevitable and the person who SAID they wold write 300 words on cow dung, backed out and now the rest of the team has to figure out what to do next. Welcome to the real world!

What I am about to tell you happens often, and my often I mean there is always someone from one team your brings it up or suggests it.

One team member suggests that in the event someone does not complete the work he or she was assigned/volunteered to do, then he or she's name will be removed from the assignment.

Fair, right? It sounds fair. If Jane didn't do the work, why should she get credit? I'll tell you why...

BECAUSE SHE IS IN THE TEAM TOO!!!

Now, let us take out the obvious excuses as to why Jane didn't so the homework: She didn't pay her internet bill, so she couldn't submit the work? Her dog ate it? She dropped her cell phone in the toilet at the bar and hadn't gotten around to getting a new one, so there was no way she could call to tell you what happened? Wait, that was me. Anyway, now that we have all the bull shit excuses out of the way let's focus of those that have merit.

My grandma died. Some of you might be thinking that this is not really a good excuse. Well, I am close to my grandmother and if she did die, I would want some time to grieve. And I can guarantee that the LAST thing I am going to be doing is writing about cow dung OR letting my team know that I will not be writing about cow dung. The team all of a sudden takes second priority and I no longer care for their well being.

I digress...

Jane has no valid excuse and her grandmother died 3 years ago. Should her name still go on the assignment? YES! Why?

BECAUSE SHE IS IN THE TEAM TOO!!!

Let me explain further with more explanations:

1. If you think of a classroom like a business you would have the boss (the professor) and the employees (the students). By removing an employee from the workload (for lack of participation) the team would be in a sense "firing" said employee. Well, the team does not have the authority to fire the employee; that is the boss's job and should be left up to the boss. The employees' job is to inform the boss of the situation so that the boss can handle the situation properly.

2. You're reverting to your childhood self by saying, "If you are not going to bring me any cookies, then I am kicking you out of the club." You're an adult, behave like one, even when you are challenged by adults behaving like children. Stooping to their level makes you no better.

3. Regardless of which team member participates or HOW MUCH each member participates it is still a team effort. If I decided that I was going to do JACK SHIT (hypothetically of course, not physically) I am still apart of the team. I may not be acting like much of a team member, but you can't control that.

4. It's a threat, more so a scare tactic. "IF you don't do the work, you don't get your name on the paper!" Is that the best you can come up with? My NAME doesn't go onto a piece of paper? You really convinced me to write that paper on cow dung. In fact, I am so worried about my name isn't going to go on the paper, I am going to write 600 instead of 300 words. The point is... If someone is not going to do the work, it doesn't matter if you threaten them with assignment points. I'll call your bluff, and raise you a trip to the managers office where

5. An eye for an eye. We are not in the Roman days and we all know this method doesn't work. It will always end in someone's death. For example:

I take your eye.

You take my eye for taking your eye.

I take your other eye for taking my eye.

You take my other for for me taking your other eye.

The result: You and I are both left blind!

END TANGENT

All I Want For Christmas - Day 11

2009-12-11T08:00:00.000-08:00

I miss my nephew more than I can even explain. Whenever I go shopping, Lover has to physically and mentally keep me away from the little boy section so that I don't get wrapped up in how much I love and miss him.

Papa (My Mom's boyfriend) named him Mean Motor Scooter before he even saw him and it's kind of catchy.

There is no way that I can say no to those pretty blue eyes, this little man will always have a special hold on his Auntie!

All I want for Christmas is...

To spend it with my nephew.

Christie's Wish List:

1. Paid off furniture.

2. My dream home.

3. A nap.

4. My hair done.

5. The new PostSecret book/go to the event.

6. Laser hair removal.

7. A milkshake.

8. Work Out.

9. No student loans.
10. A massage.

11. My nephew.

All I Want For Christmas - Day 10

2009-12-10T10:29:00.000-08:00

I think I am starting to run out of things that I want. And then I realized that for Lover's birthday a few weeks ago, I got him a massage and I remembered how long it has been since I have had one. So today,

All I want for Christmas is:

A 90 minutes massage from Massage Envy

Christie's Wish List:
1. Paid off furniture.
2. My dream home.
3. A nap.
4. My hair done.
5. The new PostSecret book/go to the event.
6. Laser hair removal.
7. A milkshake.
8. Work Out.
9. No student loans.

10. A massage.

All I Want For Christmas - Day 9

2009-12-09T04:00:00.000-08:00

I think about money a lot. I love money. For those people who say, "Money doesn't buy happiness," well, you are right. Partially right, that is. Money cannot BUY happiness, but money sure can make things a-whole-hell-of-a-lot better!

Take today's Christmas wish for example, all I want for Christmas is...

My current and any future student loans paid off.

Do you know how much it effing costs to go to school these days? It's expensive! To add to it, no one is hiring, but they want you to have a degree, so that when they decided they are going to hire someone, they can pick up, because you are qualified and then cross their pretty little fingers that you will desperate enough for a job, ANY job, and pay you about the same and a high school graduate is being paid to clean gutters at the local Pigley Wiggley. Education, huh? I might have a Master's and $60,000 in debt, but at least I don't have to clean gutters!

That's really want it feels like. I'm no longer different from gutter cleaner, expect he is cleaning gutters and I feel like the gutter. YIKES!

Christie's Wish List:

1. Paid off furniture.

2. My dream home.

3. A nap.

4. My hair done.

5. The new PostSecret book/go to the event.

6. Laser hair removal.

7. A milkshake.

8. Work Out.

9. No student loans.

All I Want For Christmas - Day 8

2009-12-08T03:30:00.000-08:00

Today, I just want...

Everything to fall into place, at the right time.

I have nothing else to add...

Christie's Wish List:
1. Paid off furniture.
2. My dream home.
3. A nap.
4. My hair done.
5. The new PostSecret book/go to the event.
6. Laser hair removal.
7. A milkshake.
8. Work Out.

All I Want For Christmas - Day 7

2009-12-07T03:00:00.000-08:00

Last night I had a craving, I have this craving often. Rich & Creamy.

All I want for Christmas today is...

A Jack In The Box vanilla milkshake with extra whipped cream and two cherries...

They are my favorite, and besides the Weed Bowling Alley (local BA backhome) they have the best milkshakes that I have ever had. They taste almost exactly like what you would get if you ordered one in a restraunt, but better!

What defines a good milkshake?

1. Texture. The milkshake has to be rich and creamy, but a thick rich and creamy. I want to have to struggle to suck it's delicious white material out of the straw. Mmm...

2. Sweetness. Milkshakes can't be too sweet, but they can't be NOT sweet either! A non-sweet milkshake would most definitly defeat the purpose.

3. Ingredients. You can't be lazy and just blend some ice cream and milk together and call it a milk shake. Melted ice cream is NOT, I repeat, is NOT a milkshake. Milkshake requires a specific syrup. The flavored syrup can make or break a milkshake.

Word of the wise. Wendy's milkshakes SUCK! They are horrible. Jack in the Box was closed my the time I felt the urge to satisfy my sweet tooth. I was left with othe alternatives, all closed - except for Wendys. I will never eat a milk shake from Wendys ever again. YUCK!

Can anyone guess where I am going to lunch today?

Christie's Wish List:

1. Paid off furniture.

2. My dream home.

3. A nap.

4. My hair done.

5. The new PostSecret book/go to the event.

6. Laser hair removal.

7. A milkshake.

All I Want For Christmas - Day 6

2009-12-06T02:36:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Day 6 of my all I want for Christmas special.

All I want for Christmas is...

Laser hair removal

How many of you are SICK and tired of shaving? If you are like me, then you don't like ANY hair what-so-ever! The only hair my body should have in on my head, and my eyebrows. That's it!

My hair grows so damn fast, it seems like when ever I shave, the next day I need to shave again. I don't have time for that crap and I don't have the energy for that crap. I'm sick and tired of my toes and fingers turning into prunes because I'm in the shower so long... SHAVING!

I'm tired of cutting myself and the bleeding not stop for HOURS! I know I am not the only one who has noticed that when you cut your self shaving, even if it is just the smallest of cuts, that fucking thing produces to much damned blood, it NEVER stops! So this year for Christmas, I want laser hair removal. Not just one session either, I want a WHOLE subscription for it, so that I can keep going back until I have absolutely NO MORE hair!

Christie's Wish List:
1. Paid off furniture.
2. My dream home.3. A nap.
4. My hair done.
5. The new PostSecret book/go to the event.
6. Laser hair removal.

All I Want For Christmas - Day 5

2009-12-05T02:34:00.000-08:00

All I want for Christmas is:

The new PostSecret book, so that I can get a ticket to go to the event at The Changing Hands Bookstore in Tempe on 12.07 @ 7pm!!!!

If you don't know what PostSecret is you should go here. Some of the stuff I don't believe, some of it I laugh at, some of it I cringe at, I get teary eyed at, I smile at, or I get angry at. MOST of the secrets have me wondering if the C.I.A is taping into my brain and broadcasting my life little pieces at a time to the general public. Then, having them conspicuously post these as there secrets. I am almost always grateful to know that I am not the only person in the World, state, country, who thinks or does certain things. Those are my secrets and I'm not telling which ones are true!

Christie's Wish List:

1. Paid off furniture.
2. My dream home.

3. A nap.
4. My hair done.

5. The new PostSecret book/go to the event

All I Want For Christmas - Day 4

2009-12-04T03:02:00.000-08:00

It's DAY 4!!!!

All I want for Christmas is:

My hair done.

For the last couple of weeks, I have sat in my desk at work and picked off my split ends. It's really amazing how many you have, or how many strands of have your have. Either way, I need my hair done. I need a weave of colors put back into it, including 2 dark browns, because my hair is getting far lighter than what I would like. I need it re-layered. Not horrible big gaped layers, but a little bit of layer. This would be wonderful! Something similar to this girl. Except a little bit more light brown, less red, and some blond highlights.

I really, really, want this for another reason as well. My work Christmas party is coming up on the 16th and I always try to look my very, very best on this day. Not really to impress anyone in particular, BUT because my work has a lot of men, in fact I am 1 in 3 women who work here. So, the party is where they bring their wives. Girls will always compete with one another, not that I in any way what anything other than a work relationship with their husband or boyfriend. It still feels good knowing I am the prettiest girl in the room, and there is NOTHING wrong with that. :D

Christie's Wish List:

1. Paid off furniture.
2. My dream home.

3. A nap.

4. My hair done.

All I Want For Christmas - Day 3

2009-12-03T03:30:00.000-08:00

All I Want for Christmas on Day 3 is...

A nap.

I could really use a nice nap. One in which I don't have to listen to our upstairs neighbors do the dirty. One where the T.V. is shut off, because the microwaves (or are they magnetic?) disturb my sleep. One without a crying Cinderella; while I love this girl, sometimes I think she does things on purpose - like cry at 2 am in the morning and Lover just ignored it in hopes that I will get up and calm her (I do), and she still doesn't calm down so I lay down and let her fall asleep on my belly while she is on her belly and I wake up an hour or so later and she has drooled all over my boobs and it dripped into my armpit and I go to put her in her OWN crib, he OWN bed and she wakes up and starts crying again. Yea, that! I want none of that during my nap.

What I do want, is to curl up in my beautifully soft and plush bamboo blanket, to lay on my freshly washed sheets, rest my head of a that perfectly plump pillow, sink into my bed like I was laying on a bundle of feathers, and dream about laying on the beach in the late spring, sun glistening off of my forehead, toes in the sand, and reading a nice romance novel.

THAT is what I want for Christmas today and I don't think it is too much to ask.

Christie's Christmas Wish List:

1. Paid off furniture.
2. My dream home.
3. A nap.

All I Want For Christmas - Day 2

2009-12-02T04:00:00.001-08:00

Its Day 2 of The All I Want For Christmas special.

To know me is to know that I don't ask for much. In general, I take initative to make sure that people are comfortable, happy, and have what they want when in my presence. I hope that others would do the same for me. After all, doesn't the phrase say, "Treat people the way you want to be treated."

Today, is out design center appointment. This probably means nothing to you, but to me it means the next 30 years. Lover and I get to pick out everything we want for our home from the tile and carpet, to the cabinets and accent walls. We have a limit of $19,740 in upgrades (all of which will be rolled into the mortgage). $3,800 of that is reserved for our BIG master shower. We choose to forgo the shower and seperate tub, for one bigger shower instead. I know what you are thinking. And you are totally right! That is exactly why I want a big shower. Having a big shower leaves a little amount of money left to upgrade.

The following needs to be upgraded:

- The laminate tile to ceramic 18X18 tile
- The carpet to that new stuff where the elephant lived on it and then they cleaned it and it held up REALLY well. Yea, that recycled stuff. I want that.
- From Oak cabinets to maple (I hate the seeing age lines on wood, eventually we will upgrade to bamboo cabinets, cause I LOVE bamboo everything)
- Sun Shades on all the windows, because here in AZ we need all the protection we can get.
- A Washer and Dryer
- Upgraded appliance (fridge not included)
- Painted accent walls We figure that those 3 upgrades will pretty much take all of our money for upgrades.

Which is really sad, because that leaves no spare money for the fun stuff like:

- Surround sound throughout the house (see, this is nice because the speakers are flush with the wall, there are no wires showing, and it's THROUGHOUT the house.
- Our fridge. It would be awesome if we could roll this into the mortgage
- Nice lighting, cause lighting can be really expensive.
Pool table
A Bar (yea, I will have one, maybe not right away, but I will.have.one)
- Granite counter tops
- Marbella in the bathroom instead of the white ceramic.

All I want for Christmas is...

My dream home, equiped with all that was mentioned above.

Christie's Christmas Wish List:
1. Paid off furniture
2. My dream home

All I Want For Christmas - Day 1

2009-12-01T05:00:00.000-08:00

It's Day 1 of the All I Want for Christmas edition in this blog.

We're buying a house, and the other weekend we bought furniture. Technically, we put it on layaway, same thing, right? We plan on using the First Time Home buyer tax credit that we will get to pay it off. However, this is assuming that we close escrow by June 30th, which might be a problem depending upon when they have the house finished and ready for us to move in. It would be so nice if that furniture was paid off before that time. Let's say, today! And without someone else's income other than mine and Lovers.

All I want for Christmas is...

Our layaway furniture to be paid off.

Christie's Wish List:
1. Paid off furniture

My Bright Idea

2009-11-30T07:54:00.000-08:00

First, let me just say that I hope all of you had a wonderful and happy and non-stressful Thanksgiving. I had a surprisingly great time. I met Lover's Grandma, who I love. I mean, she reminds me of my Grandma, in the sense that she is nothing like a grandma. She is fragile or withered and she still has a lot of furry in her. Not to mention, she made a mmmm mmmm mmm food. I couldn't help but say mmmm as the food was entering my mouth. YUM! YUM! YUM! I asked Lover while we were there if his Mom's food was as good, because we were going there later. He shrugged his shoulders.

DAMN it! That means no, and if Thanksgiving food isn't as good as this then it isn't good at all, because THIS is how good food is SUPPOSE to taste.

His Dad will eventually learn to talk to me, instead of taking my man and doing yard work, ON THANKSGIVING. Some people never rest. I mean, it was Thanksgiving and he could have spent time with his future daughter-in-law and Cinderella. It is what it is. Lover says that we are going to start going over to his Grandmas house more. Which is cool.

OH! When we move to our house, we will be WAY closer to her. Right now she is like an hour away from us, but after we move, she'll be like 20-30 minutes away. And she said that she would help us decorate. Which is GREAT, because I have the ideas in my head, but I don't really know how, what, or where I want something or anything.

Lover fucked up and asked his Dad to help us landscape. Ugh! I can do it by myself! Everyone knows that the more adults you have involved in something the more opinions you have, and I don't want any fucking big mouth opinion ruining the wonderful plan that I have for our front yard. I guess the help will be nice and I wont complain, but I just want to make it very.very. clear that I COULD do it without any help.

Now, to the bright idea. For each day in December I am going to add to the All I Want For Christmas list. That way you all know exactly what it is that I want for Christmas and maybe you can help a girl out! Anyway, tomorrow will start Day 1. I've had this planned for awhile, and I know the STUPID posting thing screwed up because I scheduled this all last week. So, you might have already gotten a sneak peak. You're just lucky.

The Time I Almost Got to Party with Smash Mouth (Part 3)

2009-11-24T03:00:00.000-08:00

Newbies to this series should first read this, and then this.

Okay, are you caught up now? Perfect!

We left off on my perpetual need to down some vodka.

After that glass and a half, I slowed down a bit and started using it as a sipping vodka. That slut, Jackie, snuck away with James. They went away "to talk." Yea right! They went away to park his tour bus in parking garage she probably had going on down there. Bitch!

The rest of the night is a little hazy, I do remember being told that Smash Mouth has broken down somewhere around Crystal Lake, so they were camping there for the night. Umm... Yea, right! They were probably living it up at the Hilton or perhaps staying with their families for the night. Good cover, but I didn't buy it.

Nothing bad happened to us, THANK GOODNESS and we all ended up back in our own hotel rooms (meaning the four girls in our room and the men in their own room) and went to bed sometime around 1 in the morning. I was laying there, and I couldn't go to sleep. The room was spinning. I didn't feel like I needed to throw up, but I was tired! I was damn tired, and after 20 minutes of trying to stop the room from turning around and around, I walked to the bathroom and inserted finger.

If there is one thing about me, it is that I DO NOT like to "be drunk." I don't like the feeling of throwing up, so I rarely if ever drink enough to make myself throw up. There might be one or two nights in a year, where I get so wasted, that I force myself to throw up, so that I can go to bed.

The next morning, we might have said goodbye to James and Ted, maybe we didn't. After all, they weren't as much fun as we thought (or perhaps they weren't as dangerous as we expected).

We left early after getting ready and went to do what girls do best... Shop! We went to the mall, and did some browsing, maybe some shopping. Then, Katrina and Sara decided to use the "hotel" money that was supposed to be used on the cousin to get manicures. This left Jackie and I to spend time together, we spent it out in the parking lot smoking cigarettes. In said parking lot we met another guy, let's call him Mike. Mike, was working in the back of what appeared to be a UHaul. What he was really doing was promoting the new 5 blade razors from Shick (I think, maybe not. It's the orange razor. Got it? Cool.). Wait, that's still not right. Mike was pit-man for a drag racer. Shick sponsored them, so he was out doing his sponsor duties and promoting the product. Jackie and I made nice with him, we talked and for some stupid, stupid reason we all exchanged numbers so that we could meet up later.

I think I was so okay with it, because it was day light and the fact that Mike was another sexy beast. How can I convince him that Jackie is as ugly on the outside and she is on the inside? Oh well. You'll never see him again anyway, just have as much fun as you can.

The next thing we know all four of use follow Mike back to his hotel room where 3 of his friends are waiting. Okay, wait! So, ummm... Why is it that hot guys all have ugly friends. I mean, you expect that you meet one hot guy he will lead you back to the plethora of hot guy friends that he has. This was not the case. So, ended up spending the next few hour talking with these 3 men, and smoking pot (okay, so I didn't smoke, but I was surrounded by it and I felts like I was going to vomit!). Needless to say, I was ready to attempt the 4-5 hour journey home.

Mike and Jackie had other plans, and we were all dragged in (minus the ugly men). Off to San Fransisco we would go. Of course we HAD to take separate cars, ours and Mike in his own, because that is where we would part ways. And of course, you guessed it. Jackie rode with Mike the whole way down. Have I mentioned that she was a slut? Well, she is.

The trip turned out to be pointless as Mike and Jackie "lost us" shortly after we went through the toll on the bridge and we didn't get back with them for an hour. That was we were calling them for an hour trying to find them, mean while we were completely lost and couldn't find a gas station, and it was dark. Yea, Jackie is a slut, and a bitch!

Finally, when we "found" them, it was time to head home. Jackie kissed Mike good-bye. *clears throat* weren't you just making out with James last night?

We didn't get home until 2 or 3 in the next morning, we found out Jackie, being the bitch that she is, told everyone we were hanging out with that Katrina and I were 15 (excuse me! I was 16!), and I gave Sara $20 to get my double prints of the pictures she took. I never got them. So, I have no proof. I am kind of curious if I would find James or Mike half as cute as I did back then knowing what I know now?

This trip was one of the stupidest things I ever did, I was half miserable the whole time, due to Jackie being an attention whore, or just a whore, you pick, and the whole lying thing. I'm a a terrible liar to begin with, unless of course I was telling my mother that I was going to bed, when in actuality I was on my way out the door to go to a party. I am pretty sure this was the last big lie that I told, and it was more of a lie of omission.

The Time I Almost Got to Party with Smash Mouth (Part 2)

2009-11-23T05:00:00.000-08:00

If you are new, tune in here to read the first part of this, I-have-no-idea-how-many-parts mantra of mine.

So where are we at?

- I was 16
- Going into my Freshman year of college
- Just got my belly button pierced without my Mom's approval
- AND I told her
- She agreed to let me go to Santa Rosa to "hang out" with Smash Mouth under the following conditions:
- Sara's cousin would be there
- No drinking (HA! Okay, Mom)
- I call her every few hours to check in (I love my Mom and her checking in!)

We are driving to Santa Rosa. Woot! Woot!

I was driving with 3 pot heads, well they weren't entirely pot heads, they smoked a lot, but not.. okay, they were pot heads. I never smoked pot, at least, I didn't want too because I was trying out for volleyball, and I couldn't confirm, but didn't know if they drug tested.

We were, oh I don't know, 2 1/2 hours away from home when EVERYTHING started coming out the closet.

There was no Jack (The male cousin). Wait, there was a Jack, but he certainly didn't know where we were going, who we would be with, and he never made any plans to meet us there.

Uh! Nice that they told me this NOW! I mean, that was one of the only reasons I felt safe enough to want to go. In fact, looking back I probably would not have even THOUGHT about going had it not been for that one piece of information.

But what could I do? I was 2 1/2 hours away from home, I was 16, and I had no way back home. I had NO CHOICE, I had to go along with it. I suppose I could have called my Mom, sucked in my pride and ruined every one's trip. I didn't want that on my shoulders, and I didn't want to worry anyone. So what did I do? I kept my big fucking mouth SHUT!

We get to the hotel. This is it? You mean to tell me that we honestly are expected to believe Smash Mouth is going to be staying in this hotel? This Best Western style hotel. Yay right! you three have been had. Like I said before, I'm just along for the ride. That, was exactly when I knew, we would not be meeting Smash Mouth, we would not be getting tickets, and I highly doubt that we would even be doing anything like what the movies show.

I was kind of expecting a RAVE. Dangerous thing I was. I mean, while I didn't want to participate in any of it. I wanted to see it like in the movies, the girl snorting coke in the bathroom, the threesome going on in the bedroom, the hookah in the living room, and the loud music, bright colors, and glow sticks! You can't forget about the glow sticks. My dream were shattered. My heart was crushed.

They had been taken for by Ted and James, but I was taken for by them. You live you learn, right? I kept telling myself that if at any time I felt uncomfortable I would just retreat to my room and if they felt like having sex with them, they could damn well take it to THEIR room, not to the one we were all sharing.

They finally got a hold of Ted and James and we made arrangements to meet with them later. Not before Ted weaseled his way over to our hotel room, because he was like, the very next one over. Creepy! I didn't see what Katrina saw in Ted. From what I could tell he had acne scars, looked too hold, THOUGHT (meaning he thought he was, but he really wasn't) he was a smooth talker, AND thought he was someone important. He wasn't and I saw through his fake facade. My people skills proved him to be, as Katrina had said, harmless. That doesn't mean he wasn't trying to weasel his way into her pants.

Later that night I had the pleasure of meeting yummy eye candy, I-wish-you-would-try-to-jump-into-my-pants James. He was the tall dark and handsome type. 6'2", jet black hair, broad shoulders, blue hypnotizing eyes, washboard abs, and a British accent. The British accent had me sold. Oh he was yummy. I only wish he wasn't so interested in the slutty red head, Jackie. UGH! Men and their poor taste. I got over it quick! They would never see him again, probably never talk to him again, and I didn't want to get laid that bad. Good luck, my friend.

I of course was the first to suggest going to the pool. I wanted to show off my big boobs, and (at the time) rockin' body. I had already gotten a peak at Jackie's stomach rolls on the car ride there, and in the hotel room while she was changing. I don't think he would be impressed. I win! Bitches are scandalous. The things us women do for attention.

We hung out in the pool, got yelled out from an old man off of the balcony. Apparently we woke him up. He called the hotel staff shortly after. We were kicked out of the pool, I guess that makes it the second pool I've been kicked out of.

With nothing else to do, and no where to go, since they were entertaining minors (I still maintained my age of 16) we went back to our rooms to clean up and then met back up again (It was probably midnight when we saw them again, a whopping 30 minutes of non communication).

I of course, maintained my end of the bargain by calling my mom and checking in. If I didn't she would know something was up, and I was trying to establish trust here. Word of the wise, checking in is not a bad thing. I never felt childish for checking in, and I knew that my Mom loved and cared for me. THAT is why she needed to hear my voice when I was away. She needed to hear I was raped and abandoned in an alley somewhere. Which little did she know at the time, very well could have happened on this stupid trip! As I said before, I had been had. But, I should have known better!

We went to their "Roady" bus. It wasn't that bad. In fact, coming from someone who had never seen a tour bus or Roady bus before, it looked about like I expected it. Bigger on the inside that what it appeared on the outside. There was even this "lounge" area in the back. Oh and beds! Oh many times did I picture James throwing me down on that bed during the next hour or so? I'm willing to bet, a lot. Us yougin' are horny little things.

We sat in the lounge area and they offered us vodka. PERFECT! I love vodka! There was a catch? They had nothing to mix it with.

"You got ice?"

"Yea."

"Lemon?"

"No."

"Lime?"

"No."

What the hell is wrong with these people. Either they are incredibly stupid in the art of seduction or incredibly smart. I still vote stupid.

"Then vodka and ice it is."

Myself and the boys were the only ones drinking. No one else was capable of stomaching straight vodka. PUSSIES! I do love the taste of vodka, good vodka that is and they were definitely giving my good vodka. My first drink lasted a whole 10 seconds. Ted then felt compelled to point out this was a "sipping" vodka, and not meant for shots.

---------

I am running out of time to write this. Until next time.

The Time I Almost Got to Party with Smash Mouth (Part 1)

2009-11-21T05:00:00.000-08:00

This is one of those posts that was inspired by another. Here is the blog that made me want to get THIS event out of my head!

Go ahead and read it... What did you think?

Anyway, this is going to be about my aforementioned road trip. I don't even think my Mom knows the whole trust, I either never confessed it or was too embarassed. I hope she doesn't read this.

----

"PLLEEEASE.... Mooommm! Can I go? Pretty please? Katrina and I are going to be the only 16 years old (Good God! Has it been that long?). Sara and Jackie are like 22, and Sara's cousin is going to be there! He is a big guy, Mom. I've never met him, but Katrina's parents have and they say he is big and will protect us if anything bad happens."

Mom: "I'll think about it."

"But Mooomm! They are leaving tomorrow, you don't have time to think about it. If I'm going then I have to stay there tonight, and it's late and there just isn't time to think about. Mom, PLEEEASE! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity."

"Okay fine."

"Wait, I can go?"

"Yes."

Umm... That was a little too easy...

-----------

Let me explain... It was the summer going into my Freshman year of college, I was only 16 (I'm kinda smart), it was the day AFTER I got back from spending 2 weeks in Corning with my old baby sitter (who ironically, isn't MUCH older than I and really cool!) where I has just gotten my belly button unprofessionally pierced without my Mom's permission and I told her, in hopes to build trust (that's me, forgiveness is better to ask for than permission) AND I was trying to convince my Mom to let me go with an old friend, Katrina of the fence hopping Katrina's, and 2 older girls, who I had never met, but one of them Sara, had a Dad who substituted for my elementary classes Back in the day. Sara's cousin, we'll call him Jack, was suppose to meet us in Santa Rosa, and "protect" us.

Why were we going to Santa Rosa? Well, Sara, Jackie, and Katrina went to the fair in Medford and watched Smash Mouth perform. After one of the songs, Sara stood up and gave them a standing ovation. Normally, this wouldn't have been a big deal, although Sara has severe muscular dystrophy and was in a wheel chair. The drummer of Smash Mouth (Michael Urbano) saw this happen. He then came out with a white carnation and gave it to her.

After the show they (not me, as I wasn't there, or "into" that stuff) ended up smoking pot with a couple of the Roadies, let's call them Ted and James. Ted and James then invited the 3 of them to Santa Rosa, Smash Mouth's home town, for their performance at THAT fair the very next weekend. They were going, no matter what. I was invited later.

-------------

Before talking to me Mom...

Me: "So, we are going to be staying at the same hotel as the Roadies?"

Katrina: "Yea, but you have to be quiet about your age, they don't know I'm 16, they think I am 18."

Me: "You lied about your age? I don't feel comfortable lying."

"Christie, you look like your 25, you can lie about you age and they wouldn't know they wiser."

"Okay, tell him I am 17, almost 18. I'll still be a miner. I can't believe you like that guy! How old is he?"

"30. But he is really cute, and sweet and he says he likes me, a lot."

"How can Ted like you, you spent a few hours with him! He just wants to get laid."

"He's not like that."

"How do you know? You don't even know him."

"I can just tell. You know how you can just tell."

"Yea I know what you me." - I totally didn't get it! But I was down just for the ride. Plus, my best friend was in Petaluma and maybe I would be able to meet up with her for a little bit.

I knew the whole trip sounded shady. A lot of stuff was being left out that I didn't even know. But it sounded like fun. Plus, the roadies actually said that Smash Mouth would be staying at the same hotel as us. Interesting, it should be a nice hotel... You'll find out later... AND really? I mean I know big rock star bands are cool cats and all. But I doubt they will be spending their time with "the likes of us."

It was a road trip I was down for it...

Stay tuned to find out what happened next...

"Ask Christie what happened the last time she hoped a fence for water"

2009-11-20T11:57:00.000-08:00

Many of my posts are inspired by other posts, or another posts makes me think of it. This is not one of those posts. This posts was inspired from events that unfolded a few weeks ago.

-------------

A few weeks ago, Lover and I felt like relaxing in our Apartment Complex hot tub. We had our suits on, black and milds in one hand, and beer in the other (with a towel thrown over a shoulder). Guess what? The hot tub wasn't working! Was.Not.Working. No bubbles, not heat, it was just a small pool of still water!

I looked at Lover and saw the light bulb. What the hell was he thinking?

Lover: "Have you ever gone pool hopping?"

Pool Hoping?

"Yea, we used to do it all the time when I was younger."

Whose we? (You know me! Always catching on the irrelevant and asking questions).

"Does it matter?"

"No, I'm just curious."

"Friends."

"Girlfriends?"

"No! Maybe. Anyway, those luxury apartments down the street. Are you down?"

"Hell yes!"

Off we trucked the apartment complex down the street. He posted it on his Facebook, Totally lame! My Mom's Boyfriend's daughter (are you following?) responded by saying, "Cher (my mom) says, ask Christie (me) what happened the last time she hopped a fence for water."

Do you know what Lover did?? He asked!

SHIT! FUCK! I thought I buried my criminal past. I thought that by turning 18 my record was erased or sealed, I'm not sure what they are doing with it these days! This brings a new meaning to the saying your past will always follow you. FUCK!

Me: "Babe, I know you think that I am a perfect, law abiding citizen."

Lover: "Ha"

"Hey!"

*smirk*

"That's enough!." Anyway, "I know you think I am a perfect..."

"Babe, get on with it."

"I was arrested. You see...."

-----------

Back in Weed, there isn't much to do. People aren't rich, and there aren't any apartment complexes, at least not any with POOLS or HOT TUBS. So, we did what we could. There was this Country Club right down the road from where we lived. ALWAYS would we go there (well, me and a friend of two) to hang out and have fun.

We would wait until 11:30pm, because everyone knew that the only cop (there were only 3) on duty in the area would get off at 11:00pm. So, wait until 11:30pm and it was a safe bet that cop would be in the comfort of his or her on home.

It was a good 2-3 miles up there, to the country club. We used to be able to just punch in the gate code and walk in. I can't remember how we got the code. Maybe one of the girls was friends with another girl who knew a guy that used to be married to the owner and he told us. Or maybe, my sister use to life guard there during the summer time and she told me. You pick, I can't remember. This time, they got smart because the gate was pad locked (like that would stop a bunch of teenage miscreants. I think I was 15 at the time).

"Hey Jimmy (name changed to protect his identity.), why don't you hop the gate, and toss over a chair on this side, so we can climb over without getting hurt?"

Jimmy was down. So were we.

An hour or so later, we were chilling in the hot tub, minding our own business and the next thing you know! There is this light shining in our face and the familiar voice saying, "You kids want to get out and talk to me."

Fuck! Busted! It's Dominique, the new cop. The new cop from So. Cal which means he is an asshole and there is no talking my way out of this one. And oh fucking great! There is NO WAY he will keep this from Mom's Boyfriend (who also happens to be a cop), which means Mom is going to know and GOD DAMN IT! I am going to be in Sooo much trouble! FUCK! I need better friends. (Huh? This was my idea. Oh yea.).

I'm just happy that it's Friday night and Mom and said cop boyfriend aren't due back in town until Sunday night. At least I can enjoy one last weekend of freedom!

*Phone Rings*

Dominique: "Is that your Mom?"

I look at my phone. FUCK! "No."

"Let me see."

"You don't have..."

"Give me your phone!"

COCKSUCKER! I hand him the phone and he answers, "Hi, Cher." I'm sure the word MOM in big letter flashing on the screen didn't tip him off at all!

Muffled voice on the other end, what I assume was my Mom in both shock and worriness as to why the cop was answering my phone.

Shit it's Mom.

Dominique explains the situation. I hear a loud "Here you talk to him." from the other end. GREAT! Does everyone need to know about this? How embarrassing!

Dominique explains again, only this time to Mom's cop boyfriend and his co worker. Isn't there some kind of privacy law. I thought cops were forbidden to talk about their cases! Oh, it's legal with other cops? FUCK.

Wait am I hearing this right? Is Mom's boyfriend laughing? That is most definitely laughter coming from that end! Hmm... Maybe I wont be in so much trouble after all. If the COP thinks it's funny, then maybe he can convince Mom that it is too! :D

------------

"See, Babe." The owner of the country club wanted to press charges to make an example of us. But the court said that since we were good kids, we get probation, the one where you only have to stay out of trouble for a year and nothing happens. But, if we got in even a small bit of trouble, we WOULD be tried for that infraction. I stayed out of trouble so nothing happened."

"What did your Mom do?"

"Oh she was pissed! 'I was arrested,' she kept saying. He never even put cuffs on me, and I sat in the front seat the WHOLE way home! I used my grades, and her boyfriend's laughter as good ammo and ended up convincing her that I should only be in trouble for as long as the judge says. Since it never went to court, I was only minimally grounded for the 6 weeks it took from being arrested to the judge sending the letter. She didn't let me play volleyball that year though."

"Do you still want to go to the other hot tub?"

"Hell yea!"

Some people never learn...

Lot's to Say...

2009-11-20T11:56:00.001-08:00

I have so many blog posts fluttering up in my nogin, I need to get them out before I forget them!

I Have a Problem

2009-11-18T13:28:00.000-08:00

I've mentioned before that when I sleep I sleep, I am out and I don't like to be bothered! I've been known to curse, throw a tantrum, and even slap Lover in the face. Mind you, I don't remember a thing the next morning.

It's progressivly gotten worse, I should see a sleep doctor or something. Really. Anyone know one?

This morning I woke up in bed, with a vague recollection of how I got there. I walked by myself, but I am pretty sure not before giving Lover a piece of my mind.

So... When I woke up this morning I had a bad feeling. My mind was racing, but I felt guilty. I think I dreamed about being really mean to Lover. I could just tell that I was mean to him and that broke my heart. So, when I woke up I apologized and apologized and asked him to tell me what I did. He didn't. Now my mind is racing at what I possibly could have done, because he always shares with me what I do in my sleep, and usually voluntarily. This time? Nothing. Not a thing.

It HAD to be something pretty bad! Why wouldn't he tell me if it was something that was no big deal?

Something made me angry, and I took it out on Lover. I intend to find out just HOW I took it out on him.

The Spitters

2009-11-16T15:00:00.000-08:00

He walks out the door, shoulders back and swagger in his step. You see him as confident man and you want to pounce. He continues on his way, slight cocks (cocks. haha.) his head to the right and without expression, the pucking of his lips, a further tilt of his head, or looking down from his focus, he does it. He spits. Your mind races and you replay the event in his head. Suddenly it makes since. *LIGHT BULB* That wasn't confidence in his step, it was arrogance; much like this man below. This portrayal of his attitude, that he is suddenly cooler, more manly, and desireabl because he can spit.

You can't mistake hawking a luigi for spitting, they are different. One involves the use to snot passing through your nasal passage, into your throat, and over your taste buds before combining with spit and leaving your mouth. Sounds sexy right? The sexy man to my right? He hawks luigis, still think he is as sexy? Do you still want his tongue in your mouth? Do you still want to put your tongue in HIS mouth? I think not. It's something we don't like to think about, and we don't think about it, because we rarely see anyone do it. But when we do, he goes from looking like the man on the right, to looking like the man above! Out of sight, out of mind, right? Anyway, I am talking about spitting here, not hawking a luigi, but same concept.

I see so many young, ignorant men do it, spit. It's gross. No one on this planet wants to walk around on, step on, or see the nasty vileness that comes from anther's mouth.

See... Since I have 3 Phd's in this kind of thing, I think I am qualified to determine the psychological reasons as to why some men do it. I have put together the following of why men spit.

Power. or the lack of. Some men are in a position where they feel like they are the most powerful person, everything would go wrong with out them, and so they spit. Sometimes they think about it before they do it. Their spit is strategically planned out to make sure the desired people see him do it. Or, maybe he does it all the time.

Respect. This spitter thinks that by spitting, he is demanding more respect and that those who see him do it will thus give him more respect. It kind of goes back to the power thing. You see, the more respect this spitter has, the more power he has, or the more more he THINKS he has. He is really making himself look like an arrogant buffoon, like this guy on the left.

Coolness. Others just think it is "cool," and we all know that the most respected and powerful men spit, right?

Manly. Some think spitting is a manly gesture. They think it makes them look more masculine and thus can gain power, respect, and coolness from his peers.

Territorial. Let me explain. Man standing at the bus station, sees his friend coming toward him. "Hey man," spits, "how's it going." Friend: "Not bad, just waiting for the bus to come." Spitter: Spits again, "That's cool man." spits.

ugh! STUPID! Just because you got there first, does not mean that the bus stop is YOURS, you can stop spitting now, you weren't going it before he showed up, there is no need to do it now.

The real reasons they spit?

Self-Conscious. They lack the respect, power, and cool factor and think they can gain it through stupid male social mechanisms. If you don't got it, you just wont get it.

I just want to say that you are arrogant, uncool, disgusting, and you do not, in the slightest, look any bit of masculine or cool.

In case you are wondering. Shit Talker brought this on. I see something moving in my peripheral (while playing on the Internet) blogging I look-up. 90% of the time it is Shit Talker, leaving that cave of an office and pretending to do something of importance. 100% of the time, he does exactly what the story says. he spits. EVERY TIME! He spits every fucking time! I just want to run up and punch him in the face because he looks like an idiot! I would much rather him look like and idiot with a broken nose/black eye that I gave him!

Are you sure Christie isn't on that list?

2009-11-13T10:22:00.000-08:00

I mentioned in I Just Sent You Flowers So I Can Get Laid that I am a HUGE fan of John Jay & Rich in the morning. Recently, they posted a list of ten male and ten female names. These weren't just ANY names, these were the names of very special people. You see, people with these names have a problem... a problem with giving themselves away. Are you following? They are the names of hoish women and slutty men (slut isn't gender specific is it?).

I felt compelled to share it:

"Loose" Women:

10. Nicky

9. Carly

8. Lisa

7. Tina

6. Michelle

5. Steph

4. Becky

3. Debbie

2. Tanya

1. Kelly

(I think this woman would definitely be a Debbie)

Loose" Men:

10. Lee

9. Dave

8. Andy

7. Steve

6. Kevin

5. Gary

4. Paul

3. Darren
2. Jason

1. Ben

(Now, this guy! He is most definitely a Ben)

The funny part was last night when I was explaining this to Lover. In his most sincere and intimidating voice he exclaims,"Are you sure Christie wasn't on that list."

I respond by saying, "As a matter of fact," while turning toward him and looking deep into his eyes I finish, "Christie held the number one position."

Lover, "That's not the only position she will be holding tonight."

...and I'm a genius!

2009-11-12T10:18:00.001-08:00

I have been going back and forth on the "nickname" for Lover's daughter for many months now. I just don't know what to call her. VodkaMom already stole Bitchy and Sassy for her two daughters, so I can't very well steal those. I'm sure more of you that I read have some good nicknames too, but it's hard to remember them when I am thinking and writing about myself.

I have tossed around just using her first name, he nickname (play off her first name), and plain ol' 'Baby,' (original, right?) but none of them seemed to fit... until now.

Since the beginning of mine and Lover's relationship he has always joked about what a good girl his baby girl will be when she gets older. He then likes to imagine the horror, stress, and miserbility (is this a word? A state of being miserable) that I will go through once his "precious" daughter gets older. The fights, the tantrums, the not listening. He especially enjoys it, because it further proves to him that his daughter, his own flesh and blood, his offspring will love him more than she will love "the other woman."

He finds morbid humor in imagining his daughter throwing things at me, me telling her that if she doesn't behave "I'll tell Daddy," and just vivid hatred between the two of us. Now, he of course (or so he says), doesn't want that to happen and has no doubts that I will love his daughter and we will get along fine. Simple reason as to why? Because I'll be around from birth, she will always know me and out relationship as it is. I will never be some girl you storms in and takes away "Daddy's time."

Mind you, I have no idea about Father/Daughter relationships. My father is an ass-jockey and I can't imagine what in the world his is going to want to do with him.

Anyway, he pictures me as the evil step-mom in order to amuse his uneventful days. So, in order to get him back I will constantly talk about how if he doesn't watch it I really will become the evil step-mom and when he wasn't around I'll make her scrub the floors with lye and a sponge.

I know you're think that is the point where I became a genius, but it's not... bare with me.

My original dilemma was that I could not find a nickname for this child, so that I could directly talk shit about her (in the future of course, she is an innocent baby for now) and no one would know the wiser. All the talk of being mean was brought BACK up, it reminded me of a Disney movie. Which is why I responded that way. and the DING!

DING! DING! DING!

Her new nickname in my blog hit me... Are you ready for it?

Cinderella! Not only because of Lover's ridiculousness, but because I will be the step mom and her the step child and it fits PERFECTLY! You can tell me how smart and creative and brilliant I am now. No really, you can.

Now I want to know, what nicknames do you have for people in your blog? and how did you come up with it?

Bitch Boy, Pot Stirrer, and Shit Talker

2009-11-11T15:24:00.000-08:00

I have given yet another nickname to a co-worker. Bitch Boy. This goes to our new "safety manager." First, he is not above nor below me in status, he makes more money, far more money than I, but that does not mean he is better than I. Second, his boss doesn't even work at this facility so he doesn't even seem like an actual employee of my workplace. and Thirdly, I hardly ever see him, he does not have a company phone, and there is literally NO way (other than e-mail) for me to get a hold of him. This fact alone does not bother me in the slightest. What does bother the living fuck out of me, is that Bitch Boy does not provide his contact information to his customers or vendors so that they can follow up with him AND he gives out the company phone number to these people so that they can "contact" him. However, he is completely unreachable by this number.

Bitch Boy is not the only person I have this problem with. Shit Talker (yes, another new nickname), is also in a separate office and not reachable through the office phone. However, HE has a company cell phone and I give out that number openly and freely. There is another one out of these three that is also unavailable by land line, we will call him Innocent By Stander, because I LIKE him, and he is always more than willing to help me out. Plus, he has almost no authority, much like myself and can't control not having a cell phone (because Shit Talker and Shit Talker's management took it away).

So, we have Bitch Boy, Shit Talker, and Innocent By Stander (IBS).

I have the luxury of being yelled at, rudely spoken too, and hung up on on a daily basis because "our company needs to get their shit together," "I am lying," or "Bitch Boy told them he could be reached at this number." Well, a few weeks ago I was fed up with it. I e-mailed Bitch Boy and asked for his contact information so that I can give it to these people when they call. He responded by saying that the people who needed it already had it, and he doesn't want to deal with anyone else.

My response. Well, I guess they are SOL.

Flash forward to yesterday morning.

I finally had enough. I was yelled at by one person too many. This time, the phone call was in regard to IBS; however, I had enough of it.

I sent out another e-mail to all 3 of them stating, and I quote:
"When you do business with someone, please make sure that you give them the needed information in order to get back a hold of you (Other than the main office line, as you cannot be reached via this line). This would be great as I am tired of being hung up on and bitched at because they can’t reach you.

Thanks!
Christie"

So, I realize that I probably could have worded it differently, but I was pissed and BITCHED was the word that best described what was happening to me.

Bitch Boy, decided to ignore my e-mail and pass it on to Shit Talker, in which he basically said that I was a horrible person, employee, and should "have a talking too." Now look here... Don't tell someone I need a "talking to." And second of all, if you had a problem, the first step is to confront the person you have a problem with. Isn't this what we learned in Kindergarten through that whole problem solving shit where you start off stating how you feel and by the end of the damn exercise you are hugging the person who you punched in the face after they put wet sand down your pants?

Anyway, more anger arises from the fact that later that day my boss comes to me and says we need to talk. Now, my boss doesn't talk to me. No really, he doesn't talk to me. Only every now and then to ask a question, in which I answer directly and he leaves my office. So, we he starts off saying we need to talk, I flip and start racking my brain of WHAT THE FUCK I possibly did wrong within the last month.

Then, he calls in Mrs. No Holey Jeans, and we go to the conference room for a "meeting." Umm... Well, he takes longer than he should to get there and all I can think about is the "big wigs" that are coming into the office the next day and how they just had all this budget meeting shit, and OH FUCK they are getting rid of my position! Then, my eyes swell with tears and I get a fucking toad in my throat (kind of like what is happening now, because the thought of loosing my job upsets me soo soo much!) and I have to choke everything back, because I will not let Mrs. No Holey Jeans see me cry. And will my fucking boss just bring his ass in here and get it over with already. I'm going to cry. Not only am I going to cry, I am going to bawl, and there will be snot and mascara running and I don't see a box of tissues up here.

Finally! My boss comes in and hands me a piece of paper. AHAHAHAHA! It's my e-mail! And Bitch Boys e-mail to Shit Talker and Shit Talker's boss, Pot Stirrer's, response to my boss and my bosses response to all of them. WOW! Wait! Shit Talker sent this to Pot Stirrer, but Shit Talker's response is not included in this e-mail. Pot Stirrer DELETED IT! OH! I get it.

So, first. It was funny that even Pot Stirrer (who gained his name for other reasons as well) took my side by simply saying, this is not a matter of who is right or wrong. This is a communication issue and maybe you 3 (meaning, Shit Talker, Bitch Boy, and IBS) need to have a meeting to resolve it.

My boss, Teddy Bear (I am naming him this, because I was told once that he was a big Teddy Bear) then told them all that he would talk to me, but communication was important, this was the first he had heard of it, and if they have a problem contact him directly next time and he will handle it.

First, Teddy Bear is a great boss. He sticks up for his employees, even when they could have done something differently or approached it in a different way. AND he explains things to said employee *cough* HOW she can handle it differently, and that it might be better to just go to him (even though some times Teddy bear scares the shit out of her) and he will put them in their place. This makes me happy. Really happy, that my boss cares, sticks up for me, and doesn't back down.

Also, I think Mrs. No Holey Jeans needs to start taking lessons from him, because I really can't stand her careless attitude and Bitchiness! Fuck her! Although, she seems to tone it down, is much more helpful, and polite when Teddy Bear is around (also her boss). Imagine that!

It's so Stressful. I Want to Cry.

2009-11-10T11:46:00.000-08:00

Lover and I are buying a house. And.It.Makes.Me.Want.To.Cry...Massive.Amounts.Of.Tears.

The whole process is just a big long shitty, stressful one. Stressful ONE!

So, 2 weeks ago we bought our bed. AWESOME, right? Yea, it is awesome. We got a screaming deal, a great comfortable bed, and we came in about $200 under budget. :D Oh wait. We didn't BUY the bed, we put it on layaway, and Lover will be making weekly payments until it is paid off the end of March. Can you believe that places still have layaway? I thought they did away with all that bogus back when plastic became popular. Lucky for us, they didn't. Who wants to pay interest on something anyway? And to be honest, I really DON'T want or need the bed right away. I would rather them just deliver to out home, when we get it.

This past weekend we went and bought out furniture. What.A.Night.Mare.NightMARE! Let me make myself clear, I do NOT like furniture stores, nor do I like furniture salesmen and it was just our luck that we got stuck with... the new guy. We were in that store FAR longer than what we wanted to be, especially since we had already came in the week before and picked out everything that we wanted so all we needed to do was negotiate. We were there for 2 hours and there was little negotiating! We took some things off (that we wanted but didn't need) and finally worked out the price that we budgeted for it. PERFECT! Everyone is happy, right? Wrong!

Not more than 10 minutes after we left the F'ing place we get a phone call from the salesman. Apparently, his high school diploma is worthless, because he doesn't even possess the skills of basic math. He "forgot" to add in one of the MAJOR pieces of furniture into his calculation. He says, "Don't worry, I changed it and had my manager sign off, so your new total is [yadda yadda]." Hmm... I'm sorry, but that just isn't the price that works for me and don't you need my signature for some LEGAL reasons. Like you can't tell me I owe X amount of dollars and then change it to Y amount once I sign the papers and am not there to defend myself.

"Do I need to come down to sign anything?"
"Oh no you don't need to do that, we took care of everything."
"Except we didn't agree on the price you are saying, we agreed upon the price I signed off on, and who the hell are you to just change the amount you know nothing of what we can afford or what we have budgeted."
"Well, it just is not necessary for you to come down, you can if you want, if it makes you feel better." - Who he fuck does this guy think he is. I wish I had more time or knew a lawyer because I am almost positive that he would have been binded to what we originally agreed on, and that's just tough shit he fucked up.
"Well, it does. In fact, we want to cancel the whole contract, I'll see you tomorrow."

Yes, I don't do well with salesman, I don't like feeling taken advantage of, and don't you DARE try to tell me I have to pay for your mistake. I'll be done with you faster than you can say, "douche bag." Lover gets this pouty look on his face and doesn't say much, just listens to me bitch, and asks a million time what we are going to do. Ugh! Weren't you listening? We are cancelling the furniture. We can go somewhere else.

Lover then sticks out his lip, puts his head down, looks up at me, and says in the sweetest voice he can muster, "but I don't want to cancel the furniture."

That's just FUCKING GREAT!
At least he made me laugh, in fact, he made me crack up and I briefly forgot how pissed off I was at the Ass jockey from the furniture store.

Fine, we will go back tomorrow and try to work out another deal. I in fact, went online to do some more research. They were having some sales on buying a dresser and mirror and getting the bed (meaning the headboard/baseboard/foot board) for free and I saw something about spending over $2,000 and getting $400 off. SO, now I would be going in there MORE prepared tomorrow.

I did and took the fucker by storm. Not only that, but I dealed almost solely with the manager instead. Screw the new guy and his 3rd grade math skills. Anyway, we ended up going with different furniture, got a better deal of the living room set, and got more "taken off" than originally offered of advertised.

So, with the furniture and bed we came in about $300 over budget. I am hoping to get us back on track when we buy the TVs, refrigerator, and deep freezer. We are going to Sears and

Lover thinks that we will also be buying a pool table. I responded by telling him that will only happen if I get my bar and Kegorator. He said he would give up a TV. He would give up a TV for a pool table. Not only that, but he will give up the TV in the bedroom for it. He didn't want one in there to begin with. I DID. So, again he is sacrificing nothing. We are still in heated negotiation.

On another note, Obama extended the deadline. It looks like we will actually be able to benefit! Yippee! So now, we are racking our brains and it seems like all we think about is this fucking house, and getting the fucking loan, and what we are going to put in the fucking thing! UGHH!!

Time to Shovel Some Snow

2009-11-10T04:12:00.000-08:00

It's that time again. Snow shoveling time! *sigh*

I came out of the house this morning only to find my car covered and buried from the night before.

Actually, it is sunshine and feels like summer time. C'mon? I'm in Phoenix, we don't have winter. Our winter consisted of a week of cold weather, at night, maybe some overcast during the day, and a couple sniffing noses. That's it. The next couple of months will only be a treacherous journey to the heat.

A Mattress DOUBLES In Weight Over 10 Years...

2009-11-09T05:07:00.000-08:00

Look it up. It's gross! Find a good mattress cover, and I don't mean those cloth ones either. You need a good mattress cover!

Overnight

2009-11-06T08:23:00.000-08:00

Not many people can say they have to deal with Baby's Mommas (myself included), oh but how I know all about them.

BACKGROUND

While I am not at all giving dead beat Dads an excuse (as I have one), nor am I defending them in any way. BUT... After hearing some of Baby Momma's requests, demands, and unwillingness to budge. I can definitely see WHY men in general give up and neglect their responsibility. Women, don't always TELL the whole story, and make it very difficult to be civil. For example: In her imperfect world, Lover is not to have ANY overnights until Cinderella is 1 year old. :O

A year is a long damned time and has she even thought of the anxiety Cinderella might go through is she isn't use to staying with Lover and I? It just isn't realistic. Maybe if Lover was a dead beat Dad and only wanted Cinderella more so that he could pay less in child support or something. But, this is not the case. Lover wants, thrives, and now LIVES to be an active and supportive in Cinderella's life both financially, but MORE IMPORTANTLY physically.

Lover has a beautiful baby girl, Cinderella, from a previous relationship. I actually met Lover when Baby Momma (to be know from here out) was 7 months pregnant with Cinderella. He loves his little girl more than anything and has never made any attempt to "run" from his responsibility or his obligation. He is with Cinderella Monday through Wednesday from 8am until he goes to work at 2pm and Thursday and Friday from 8am until Baby Momma gets off of work at 5pm (Lover has Thursdays and Fridays off).

Lover and Baby Momma's relationship did not end on bad terms, they are still good friends (even though they don't hang out) and both want what is best for their daughter. They are not doing anything through the court (that just costs money) and everything is agreed between the two of them (dangerous).

BACKGROUND END

I've seen Lover get upset. He wants more time with his daughter, he misses her, BUT he is afraid to ask for more time, for steady overnights. I think he sometimes feels as though he is walking on egg shells, and one wrong move will lead to Baby Momma taking away Cinderella.

Finally, he has started to come around and ask for more things. We have "been granted" more frequent (but still unsteady) overnights, which thrills me, because it is one of the only times I get to see Cinderella (I work); the other time is Thursdays, for an hour, when Lover brings Cinderella to me on my lunch at work. :D

This morning, Lover asked Baby Momma for steady overnights! I think his new found balls, came because Baby Momma seemed to have some new found balls in asking him to start paying for half of HER (not Cinderella's) medical bills (understandable, but not really something we are worried about having to pay at this point. We have bills, we need to save, we're buying a house).

I have been nagging him for weeks to ask for overnights (a selfish attempt, because *I* want to see Cinderella more), and he finally did. I suggested 1 overnight a week (every Thursday or Friday - since he has those nights off). They agreed upon every Thursday and every other Friday! Happy tears were trying to stream down my face when I heard the good news! It starts tonight and I cannot wait to get home from work, wrap my arms around Cinderella, and smother her in kisses!

18 Years, 4, Months, and 21 Days

2009-11-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

18 years, 4 months, and 21 days...

That is how old I was when I moved away from Mom and Dad. I drove, all 1,000 miles, in one shot from Weed, Ca (my hometown) to Phoenix, AZ. It wasn't just the day I moved away from home, it was the day I moved away from my Mom, the woman who had supported me and been there for me every day for the last 18 years, 4 months, and 21 days.

Where is all of this coming from? My 2 years anniversary was on Sunday/Monday. Sunday was the day anniversary of the day I left and 1am Monday morning was the anniversary of the day I arrived in Arizona. Both days are memorable.

It was a big leap of independence. A giant one, one that I wouldn't take back, but might possibly approach in a different way.

18 is young. People who are 18 really are just beginning their baby stages of their life. They think they know the real world, but they don't, because parents try as hard and for as long as they can to shelter their children from the cruelty of the real world. I knew what bills were, paid for my own cell phone, I paid for my own insurance and my own car. Unfortunately, it's not the same.

I do cherish that day. I cried so hard before I left, that I almost didn't leave, I almost post-poned it to the next day. I hugged my Mom so tight. Part of cries wasn't because I was moving, it was because I didn't know when I would be back, when I would see my Mom again. The other part was being afraid. Afraid of failure, and the shame that would come with having to "move back" if I failed. I was confident that wouldn't happen, I have a funny way of making things work. But, the fear was still there.

Then, my Mom's boyfriend did the unthinkable, he gave me money, to help along the way. It wasn't much, but it was enough, and it was the thought that meant the most. I cried harder. Now, they were a mixture of happy tears, sad tears, and scared tears.

I cried on and off for the next three hours. It wasn't until I was south of Sacramento that the tears subsided.

The next time the tears flowed, I was about 250 miles away from Phoenix. The trigger of these tears was a Britney Spears song. (SHUT.UP I'm a female, I can't control my emotions in these times. Plus, I am trying to be sentimental). The words, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman..." played through my speakers. It was that moment that I knew I would persevere, and succeed and that too scared the shit out of me.

I closed a chapter of my life that day, it was the journey to independence. I then started writing a new chapter... the journey of independence.

The Morning Routine

2009-11-04T09:17:00.000-08:00

Everyone (I can say everyone, because I've studied it. It's out there. On the web. Check it out.), has a morning routine. All routines can be different, but they are there, none-the-less.

For example, my morning routine when I was 16 went something like this (mind you I was in college at the time).

Mondays, Wednesday, and Fridays (Saturdays, Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays were my days off!!! I know!):

10:00(ish) - Wake up

10:10 - Shower

10:20 - Hair & Makeup

10:50 - Rush to get to class by 11:00 (It was only 10 minutes away, and there was NEVER any traffic/stop signs/traffic lights (small towns, gotta love 'em!)

Now, as I am older, hopefully wiser, and more importantly need money to survive, my morning routine goes a little like this:

6:45 - Turn off alarm and curl up with Lover

6:52 - Turn off alarm and curl back up with Lover (I have many alarms for different times set on my phone.

7:00 - Turn off alarm and try to keep my eyes open while I curl up with Lover

7:04(ish) - Rush out of bed in a hurry to get ready, and brush teeth

7:07 - Start make-up / hair (which is still wet from the shower last night, because always put it in a tight bun)

7:20 - finish getting ready. Contemplate eating breakfast, but choose to curl back up with Lover for a few more minutes.

7:30 - Turn off Lover's alarm

7:34 - Rush out of bed, get dressed

7:36 - Crawl back next to Lover, give him morning kisses (while avoiding his morning breath) He always tells me that I look sad. (I do). Then he asks why. (He always asks why!) I tell him because I don't want to go to work; that I want to stay here, with him. (I ALWAYS respond in these words). He smiles, I give him a kiss, tell him I love him and miss him (On Mondays - Wednesdays) or tell him I'll see him soon (On Thursdays and Fridays), and to have a good day.

7:38 - Rushing out the door

7:44 - Make it to the freeway, where I get to fight traffic

7:56 - Still fighting traffic

8:03 - Pull into work

8:05 - Get to my office. I am always a few minutes late. But, I don't really give a damn because they took away my overtime, forced me to take an hour lunch, and put me on a set schedule (like I'm salary), so showing up late to work makes me feel like I am getting something back.

I miss Lover. I wish I didn't have to leave him in the morning and go to work. I would much, much rather stay curled up in his arms as long as I could.

I also wish I could have the routine I did when I was 16. Things were easier back then.

Planning a Party?

2009-11-03T09:49:00.000-08:00

You know how we all dream. Well, I have been dreaming a lot lately. I have officially extended my budget out until the end of 2014. That's right, it's a five year plan. And if I follow it correctly I will have about $54,000 saved up. pppsshhhh. I have mentioned before that I am incapable of saving... I am still incapable of saving. It will be interesting to know how much I have saved up at the end of 2014.

That is one of the day dreams I have been having. The other is getting out of the job I am in now. It is not secret that I hate my job, in large part because I have to spend it with Mrs. NHJ (No Holey Jeans, in case I have any new readers). Part of this career change, includes how I can do something fun, that involves a random schedule of which I choose and when I choose it, being able to sleep in and cuddle with the love of my life, spend more time with is beautiful daughter Baby, interact with people, use my degree, and more importantly use my brain! Uncanny right? What job is going to offer all of this? Should I mention that I did not even note benefits or a 401K?

Basically, I have came to the conclusion that I would have to work for myself. But, what would I do? Howe about plan parties! My family... We know how to party, and we have thrown some pretty good ones, that aren't too pricey!

My dreams came to a crashing halt for a few reasons. One, starting a business costs money. Maybe not the one I am wanting to start, because I don't need and office, e-mail is free, and I can do my own marketing. But, there is advertising, business cards, and who the heck wants to hire someone who doesn't have a website in this economy. A website and references are a must. Two, I'm almost positive I would have to quit my job to do this. I can't quit my job. My job is steady income that I need to pay the bills. I can't leave steady income for "I don't know when the hell I am going to get paid" income.

Maybe some day, in 5 years, after I have the $54K saved up, then I can quit my job and start planning people's parties! I mean, I know all the vendors, I have people skills, and it's something I enjoy doing! *sigh* How I love to dream.

But really...

Would you hire me to plan your wedding, birthday, company party, holiday party, funeral? :O

He's Takin' Over (For today only)

2009-11-02T07:24:00.000-08:00

If you haven't already head on over to Blogging is for Dorks and check her out! She is the one who inspired all of this!

My boyfriend and I are very similar in the fact that we like to talk about ourselves, and we like to talk about our relationship. So, that is what he did and I'm not critizing him, he is new to the whole blog world; all I am saying is I will work with him.

I have read what he wrote, and I cried (shut up! I'm emotional like that! I can't control my hormones!). What you are about to read is true to our relationship and true to him. I swear the only think I edited was punctuation and paragraphs. I hate long paragraphs. Oh and I added the pictures.

Lover, Christie (AKA Love and Booze), and Cinderella

This is Curtis and I am writing about the love of my life, movies. No, just kidding, it’s about a beautiful woman named Christie.

I met Christie back in the beginning of February at a coffee shop in Tempe Marketplace. She walked through the door and I was instantly attracted to her. She had on tight jeans and a black shirt that showed off her “assets” clearly. She was just testing me she said. We talked for hours getting to know each other. It was the best date I had ever been on and believe me when I tell you that I have been on a lot.

We next met on the day before Valentines Day at Macaroni Grill. I had asked her to be my Valentine that day but I did give her some hints the day before about asking her. She already knew I was going to ask but played it off like she didn’t. We dated for about two months before I asked her to be my lady. I pretty much knew from our first date that this was definitely someone I could see myself being with.

We have been official for almost eight months now and it has been the best eight months of my life. I have a daughter from a previous relationship, her name is Cinderella [okay so I changed one thing], and Christie instantly warmed up to her. I was a little nervous telling her about that whole situation with Cinderella’s mother and I, but she understood and didn’t judge me in any way.

Christie and I have been living together for about five months now and things are great. We don’t fight and we get along very well. We did have to make adjustments because I had never lived with anyone so it was a lot different for me. We pulled through just fine and we couldn’t be happier.

Cinderella, Christie (AKA me!)

Christie is the most wonderful person I know. She is smart, kind, intelligent, peaceful, loving and worldly. She always has a lot to say about anything and everything. She knows how to get things done and doesn’t waste anytime. She is goal oriented and very hardworking. She has all the characteristics that I love in a life partner. She is the woman I intend on spending the rest of my life with. I want a home, children and a beautiful life with her. She is the one I want to vacation with, talk with, spend time with and grow old with. She makes me feel like the luckiest man alive. When it comes to her and I, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

First Carving

2009-10-30T08:36:00.001-07:00

My first time EVER carving a pumpkin.

My family did Thanksgiving and Christmas, not Halloween.

The end result.
Lover's pumpkin. (He did a good job, don't tell him that!)

You like? I like!

Lover and his creation!

Finally, The artist and author herself.

One of my friends over at Blogging is for Dorks suggested that we have our significant other write about us, in order to scare away our readers, because who is really going to listen to anything we have to say after we called out by the one person who knows us the best? Anyway, I have Lover working on this and I should have it posted first thing Monday morning.

For Lunch...

2009-10-28T12:47:00.000-07:00

Lasagna and cookie dough...

because I'm an adult.

And I can! :P

Famous Last Words

2009-10-27T13:44:00.000-07:00

"UH OH!"

That's exactly what I was saying when I remembered that I was back in school. (You can stop laughing now).

How does anyone truly expect me to remember that I am enrolled at a University for their Masters program? Come on, it's me we are talking about. :D

I remembered on Friday, I set everything up, so that all I had to do over the weekend was log in and post it for participation. Then, Sunday night rolls around and as I am about to drift into the most beautiful sleep imaginable:

"Babe, are you doing your homework?"

*dead silence*

"It's just that I never see you do any homework."

*My jaw hits the floor*

"Are you still going to school?"

*My eyes are about to pop out of their sockets*
In a haste to remember. "Umm... Yea, I'm in school. I do all my homework at work, you know that."

*silence*
Trying to recover, "I did forget that I was in school this weekend though," *deep breath* "But, I'll be fine, like I can recover from it, it won't hurt me."

I've been really busy lately, and wow! I can't believe I forgot, for 2 days I forgot. Good thing Lover said something! Who knows how long I would have forgotten for.

I Just Sent You Flowers So I Can Get Laid

2009-10-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

I LOVE John Jay & Rich (and Kyle) in the morning. They became my favor tie show after Kid & Ruben (and Corrina) were cancelled, on 101.5, for some bogus and bull shit reason.

First, they are hilarious, self-indulgent, and sound like "regular" people. Plus, they have these segments that make the radio show entertaining.

I start listening to them around 7:30 am while on my way to work, and hate it when their show is over at 10am. I get soooo irritated when the phone rings during this time, because I don't want to miss anything they have to say. UGH! The phone rang this morning and I was talking to this customer. I missed almost this whole segment, but just as I was getting off the phone, I hear the man on their segment from War of The Roses say, "I'm not cheating on you. I just sent you flowers so that I can get laid!"

If you are interested in listening to their morning show, go to their website, also they are available in the following cities:

Phoenix
San Diego
Portland
Tuscon
Colorado Springs
Fort Collins

They Stole 2 Hours From Me

2009-10-21T09:04:00.000-07:00

I slept soooo good last night! It didn't take me more than 10 minutes to fall asleep. I never woke up once, not even to go pee. It was great.

That all changed at about 5 am when I was violently awakened by ringing in my ears. I played it off as the whole "someone is talking shit about me, so my ears are ringing" and tried to peacefully go back to sleep. No go. There was this incesant noise and it was penetrating deep into my cerrabellum. It wouldn't go away. After 20 minutes of sleeping for a minute and waking up, then sleeping for a minute and waking up again, I just couldn't take it anymore! I turned to The Man and asked if he heard that noise. Oh thank gosh! So, I am not going crazy yet. I knew I still had a few years left in me before THAT happened.

It was another 20 - 30 minutes before The Man finally got out of bed and went to find out what it was. The second he opened the front door, it was a deeper penetration, a higher pitch, and I couldn't take it. I couldn't even put my hands over my ears to get rid of the noise. Lover come back to bed and says that it was a car! A Car? WTF! That is not a car alarm. How the hell does a car make that kind of noise? They don't!

I try to go back to sleep, but can't. My alarm goes off and instead of getting up I waited for the seond alarm 17 minutes later. I finally got up and went out to find out what the heck was making that sound. I didn't examine the situation long enough to know WHICH car was making the horrible noise, UGH! I can say with almost positivity that the noise was the car horn, like someone laying on the horn. Literally, LAYING on the horn. I better read in the paper tomorrow that someone was murdered in their car at the apartment complex I work at, because I am pissed! It was like somone just put something on their steering wheel to have a constant horn sound. Not Beep, beep, beep. We are talking BBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Without the p, no 'pa.'

I'm tired! My head STILL wont stop ringing, even though the awefullness stopped about 5 minutes before I left for work.

Mondays

2009-10-20T08:20:00.000-07:00

I've read many articles about productivity. You know when you're bored at work and have nothing better to do? Then, you start to Google shit about productivity so that if your boss ever asks you why something isn't done you can quote some random study that says smart people surround by bitchy *cough* Mrs. NHJ *cough* employees have trouble getting stuff done. I digress.

Anyway, this particular study that I read said that employees are MOST productive on Tuesdays. Really? Hmm... I think that might be, because we have to catch up on work that we "didn't feel like" doing on Monday.

Today is Tuesday, and I can guarantee that it is not going to be my most productive day of the week. Yesterday, I got a lot of shit done and today I plan on catching up on my other blogs and playing Twitter. I would be playing on Facebook, but the IT department has that blocked right now. :(

It's Tuesday and feels like my Monday.

Cold Hearted. Warm Blooded.

2009-10-16T09:04:00.001-07:00

Mice. My fucking workplace has mice! Technically, we only found one mouse, but those fuckers NEVER travel alone. What. The. Fuck! Someone needs to tell me what my damned rights are, because I don't do rodents! Reptiles, bugs, and rodents are a no fucking go for me.

I get to work this morning and head straight to the kitchen to put my lunch in the fridge. I look down and see one of the cockroach holder/sticky things. My office has these throughout the offices too, but they also spray for bugs and I have never seen any bugs. Other than that one instance we had with an angry hive of bees that wouldn't let us outside, so we had to call the Bee Man and it took him like an hour to kill those damned things and get the Queen.

Back to my story. I look down and see the cockroach stinky thing. I think hmm... that isn't suppose to be there. Until I see it. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I take that back, I felt the vile things heinous tale hit the top of my pinky toe before I saw what it was. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAA!!!!! Stuck. The fucker was stuck in the thing. Eww! Eww! Eww! I cried. My make up is ruined, my mascara is smeared on my face, making it appear that I was punched the night before, and I am no longer wearing the eyeliner I had on at 7:59 this morning.

I come to find out that this place has had a problem with mice/rodents/vile, disgusting creatures in the past. Luckily, 2 stray cats made there way over and we started feeding them for at least 5 or 6 years. Well, the cats died (they were run over) and the fucking mice are back. I want a cat! I will go pay to adopted one and have it inside (I won’t be satisfied with an outside cat) if I have to. I mean, I will do it the right way. I want a cat, I NEED a cat. I don't do mice.

A co-worker of mine (not Mrs. NHJ) doesn't like mice, but was sad that fucker was "suffering." Fuck that! I don't feel bad for the disease carrying infestation! At this point I am kind of happy that Mrs. NHJ is around, she is a bitch. More importantly, she is bitch that doesn't like mice/rodents. This means, that something is going to be done. Cause if the Bitch ain't happy, nobody is happy!

Mrs. No Holey Jeans

2009-10-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

Recently, I mention Mrs. No Holey Jeans (or Mrs. NHJ) in a post and thought I should explain how said co-worker developed this name.

Now, I work in the oil industry. No one ever comes to our office and when they do they look like a homeless person due to the oil/dirt/grime he or she is covered in. So, there is no need to dress in the business casual attire. Plus, the company does not have a dress code established. Therefore, I see no need to "dress to impress."

Before you Baby Booming judgmentals get on my case about how us youngsters are destroying the work environment and all that jazz, here me out.

I would never come to work in shorts (even though the summer days in Arizona are unbearable). I would never wear sweatpants or anything that looked like a work out uniform. I ALWAYS wear my hair down (only on rare days so I wear it in a bun). I would never leave my house without make-up on. My point? I don't look like some trashy girl. I look presentable and appropriate - not to mention comfortable. Mon-Fri I wear a "business casual" top and never wear T-shirts (unless the company logo is on them AND it's a Friday).

I don't feel comfortable in dresses or skirts. So, I would never wear those to work. Heels are uncomfortable and ruin my feet, so I always wear flip flops and I always wear jeans or capris.

On Fridays, I don't see anything wrong with coming to work in a tank top and "stylish" pair of jeans. You know those jeans that you can buy anywhere, and they have the strategically places holes in them? The ones that you buy that way? I love holey jeans! They just look to worn and comfortable.

Now, it had been a year that I wore a pair of holey jeans on Friday. The Republican, Baby Boomers at my company laughed, but never told me that it was inappropriate.

Then, Mrs. NHJ, who always has to put her nose in everything told me that I was not allowed to wear these jeans to work anymore. *ahem* Excuse me? Yup, The Bitch told me, after a year or my wearing these jeans to work, that I COULD NOT wear them.

Who the fuck is she. Oh! AND to top it off, she told me that my boss (still calling him Ray) agreed. Well, that is funny Mrs. NHJ, because I believe it was just last week that he was joking with me about them and even gave me a pointer on where I might find some more, for a cheaper price. I'm on to you, Bitch!

That, is how said co-worker established the name of Mrs. No Holey Jeans almost 1 year ago today.

This co-worker gets on my nerves, is unreasonable, HAS to have things done her way (even when she isn't the one doing anything in regard to what you are doing), always has an opinion which she thinks is better than everyone else’s, complains that her Coach reading glasses holder is too big, AND lives in the richest, most snobbiest place in AZ.

I finally found out why this old hag was so damned ornery... She used to work for Enron. Which means that she most likely lost most (if not all) of her retirement and will probably be working until she dies. Plus, she's never had kids, been in the oil business FAR TOO long, doesn't like me (even though I have done nothing to her) AND... is the sole reason why I dread going to work every morning.

At one point, she even had the nerve to make a comment that I probably made more money than her. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bitch please! She was serious. I don't know where she gets that shit from!!! She makes AT LEAST double what I make in a year, including tuition reimbursement. She is like 61 years old and been in the oil industry since she was 18. Like a 20 year old makes more than her. UGH!

Dream #2

2009-10-15T08:16:00.000-07:00

There are two relevant points in this dream:

1. I pushed my boss.
2. I told Mrs. No Holey Jeans (I'll explain later) to "shut up and listen for once."

An operator and myself were on our lunch break, and for some reason we decided to toss a football back and forth. Now, under no circumstances would be company be okay with us tossing a football back and forth on company property for safety and ass hole reasons. In this dream, our Safety Supervisor (let's call her Laura) was in town. her normal office is in a different state, thank gosh, because I don't know how much I could handle of her fake friendliness. Oh, it is most definitely a fake friendliness; she will jab in the back with a knife faster than you can say OSHA.

Now, Laura happened to see us tossing the football back and forth and came out to write an "incident report" (meaning you fucked up and put yourself or others in harms way) about it. My problem is that she was only going to write the incident about ME. She claimed that the operator was standing in a safe position, but I was not. Laura then went on to show me the several different places I could have been standing that would be safe.

Well, me being me. I choose to argue with Laura because not only was her reasoning completely UNreasonable, but she literally pointed out a safe spot to stand that was not more than 2 feet from me. Now, I was not arguing with her that she was wrong. I was merely asking for an explanation on WHO chooses safe versus unsafe spots? If she had a company policy regarding such issues? And the difference between Spot A and Spot B?

Are you following along? Good.

Now, this dream I was viewing via 3rd person. So, I had my "real life" mind with me and was only watching the events unfold. Kind of like, watching a documentary, of myself.

All of a sudden, my boss (let's call him Ray) and co-worker/bitch (let's call her Mrs. No Holey Jean or Mrs. NHJ) showed up and sided with her! How dare they! Then, the argument on safety all of a sudden turned into an argument of credibility where my opinion was no longer being considered. I felt like I was being treated as 1/2 of a person. The reason I was no longer "credible?" I didn't "dress up" for work. Laura started to make that a safety issue, and Mrs. NHJ was agreeing and my boss was threatening to fire me if I didn't start dressing up. In the middle of all of this I was trying to speak, and say that if they wanted me to "dress up" then they should give me a budget for it, because they don't pay me enough to buy "nice clothes." At some point I think I even asked for a policy.

I couldn't get a word in between Laura and Mrs. NHJ so I finally turned to Mrs. NHJ, looked her square in the eyes and told her to "SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK."

She responded with a hand on the hip, a movement of the head similar to a "oh no you did.n't" motion, while saying "excuse me." At which point, Ray grabbed my wrist. Yea! Grabbed me! At this point, I must have been thinking my job was finished so I pushed Ray away from me and walked off while threatening a law suit.

I only assume that I was going to my office to grab my purse and go home for the day, because I woke up as I walked into the building.

Slasher Dreams

2009-10-14T08:45:00.000-07:00

Fair warning now... This one is dousey (i.e. long)!

I had a really weird dream the other night. Well, I had two dreams; one more stranger than the other.

This is what I remember of the dream:

- It took place in a house, that I had never been in, but it was a nice house, one that I could see myself living it.

- There were a lot of people, maybe 8 or 9 or 10. I think I knew who they were in my dream, but I don't remember any faces to know who they were or if I know them in real life.

- I have no idea why they were there.

- We somehow got into playing a "game." I know what you are thinking, maybe a little role playing, or S & M. Nope, I assure you it was nothing fun like that. Maybe it started off as hide and seek, but somehow it turned into a massacre.

- Everyone was cutting off everyone's limbs. Yea, like killing people. I remember I cut off some limbs. Someone was hiding in the kitchen, and for some reason decided to jump on the island (you know how some kitchens have islands). This particular island had that thing dangling from the ceiling that you can hang your pots and pans on. CRASH! It made a loud noise. It was the perfect amount of noise for me (the one hiding in the hallway) to jump out and so this Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon move and slash off said individuals legs with my butcher knife at the knees. YEA! I sliced through this persons legs!

- I remember "sharpening" my knife and saying something like it uses less energy the sharper the knife was. I am pretty sure I felt remorse through this whole thing. Like, I didn't want to kill and chop off everyone's limbs, but if I didn't they would do it to me. So you see? I was in this battle, kind of like the Saw movies, but without the creepy guy who puts all the strangers in the house.

- The dream was cut off by my abrupt awake-ness (I think someone killed me, because I never finished the dream. and you know they say if you see yourself killed during a dream, then you die in real life) through a fight with 2 other people from the house, where we were throwing around butcher knives like swords. I karate hacked off someone’s arm.

What the hell does all of this mean??? I finally decided to go to The Curious Dreamer to "analyze" my dream. You all know how those free analysis works? They take all the "important" words and give you what those words could mean. Then, it is up to you and your personal experiences/life to determine what the dream really means; I guess you do get what you paid for.

This is what I told the dreamer guys my dream was about: "Myself and a bunch of strangers were in house. We started to play a game where we killed each other with butcher knives and chopped off each others limbs."

This is what I get:

Being Killed

* The idea that some person or situation is attempting to take power from you or victimize you, especially mentally or emotionally. For example, dreaming that a co-worker kills you may represent when she got assigned the project you wanted last week, and you're blaming her for your not getting that opportunity.
*A fear of ill will, being taken advantage of, manipulation, or victimization

Branch (came from my word limbs)

*A branch or offshoot, or the branching out of something, can represent:
- Variation
- A divergence or diversification
- Proliferation or multiplication
- A decision or choice
- The idea of things getting more complicated
- Cause and effect
- A tangent
- A closely related topic or matter

Breaking an object (came from my word chopped)

* Breaking an object in anger can mean your emotions about whatever is represented by the object feel extreme or out of control.
* Breaking an object on purpose when not feeling angry could represent a desire or decision to be free of or finished with whatever that object represents in your life.
* Accidentally breaking an object can represent a feeling or fear of making a mistake or making a mess of a certain situation in real life.

Game

* Play, social interaction, competition, dialog. Pay attention to the type of activity, the dynamics between you and other players, and how you feel about what's going on. A game can represent a real-life activity (past, expected future, imagined, etc.) or the dynamics of a real-life situation (such as the dynamics between you and your teammates on a project at work).

Group

* A group of things or people in your real or imagined life
* Belonging or acceptance
* Abundance
* Plurality
* Pay attention to what is symbolized by whatever makes up the group.

House

* A house, apartment, flat, or any place of residence often represents you or your life, even if the dream residence does not resemble your actual residence. The events in the dream residence may represent events in your life. A house can also represent security, comfort, protection, familiarity, or belonging.
* Also consider the mood and condition of the house (a dreary house might represent depression or sadness, a house with missing windows might represent personal boundary issues, etc.) and anything that particularly stands out about the house.

Killing

* Killing or wanting to kill often represents a desire for power or control, often based in feelings of powerlessness. Killing someone can mean:
* You'd like to take power from whomever or whatever that person represents in your real life, perhaps so you can feel less powerless
* You are angry at them in real life
* You're feeling unwilling to deal with the problems or hassles you feel they cause you
* Killing someone in self defense can mean you're feeling attacked somehow (mentally, emotionally, physically) or that you need to defend yourself or stand up for yourself somehow.
* Killing someone accidentally can mean you're afraid you'll accidentally hurt that person, that something you do may be detrimental to them somehow, or that your subconscious mind is thinking things through to make sure this doesn't happen.

Knife (as a weapon)

* Someone threatening you with a knife can represent:
* A feeling or fear of persecution, hostility, aggression, criticism, etc. from by another person or by "people in general"
* A current or recent situation where you feel your boundaries have been crossed or your integrity has been compromised by someone else

Okay, so being killed, I get it. But, they are strangers. So, somehow I feel vulnerable to the people of the World being that they are taking something from me or trying to. Like work taking away my overtime. That is a possibility. Either way, someone(s) are trying to take something from me and that’s not cool.

Branch? Irrelevant! Wait. The idea of things getting more complicated. Maybe those people are making things more complicated for me in an effort to try and take something from me. I see. So, I chop off their limbs in order to stop the complications. It’s kind of like being faced with a wall, and instead trying to break the wall down, you just walk around. Yes, walking around the wall equals chopping of human limbs. Got it!

I definitely chopped off their limbs on purpose. So, that means the desire or decision is free. That’s what I said. I eliminated the wall, and can go back to whatever it is that the people were trying to take from me.

Game. Dynamics. Hmm… Let’s see? I’m lost. This is getting tough.

Group. OH I get it! I am trying to socialize with the people in the game. Maybe they don’t want to, thus they are taking away my socialism (not to mistaken for the political term socialism). So, I hack them to get it back? No that can’t be it.

Yes, the house; the one thing I can’t stop thinking about. It felt to familiar. Like it was my house in the dream. Even though I have never seen it before. Someone might have been trying to take away my home, my security. The house was new. I don’t know I think this might have something to do with the house Lover and I are trying to buy/build. Hmm… Let’s move on.

Killing. Keeping the theme of the house, I must want to control it. Maybe, I am too anxious, and since I am also impatient, so I feel like things are out of my control, like they are playing a game with me. That means the builders are trying to take away my power and sense on controllability. They are throwing is limbs, like money and time and supplies, and instead of excepting this, I chop off those limbs (via giving them what they want, money and time to buy supplies and labor). And well, the knife, the knife must represent my anger and aggression towards them.

*sigh* Glad THAT one is settled.

I went back to sleep, thinking that when I get to work I NEED to write a blog about this! Thus giving me, Dream #2 - Coming Soon to a blog near you (I know, I'm a dork).

My Problem With Drinkers...

2009-10-13T08:40:00.000-07:00

...is that even THEY don't their drink.

I have posted two pictures of drinks today. The one on the left is a Cuba Libre.

The one on the right is a Cape Cod, not to be confused for a Cape Codder; who is someone that is from Cape Cod. Please don't come to my bar and order a Cape Codder, I will laugh at you. I can't help it.

Without using Google, can anyone tell me what these drinks are? Probably not, because your bartender is an ass jockey and let's you get away with stupid shit. OR your bartender is an ass jockey and has no idea what he or she is doing.

A Cuba Libre is a Rum & Coke WITH a lime. What does this mean? This means, that if you come to my bar and order a Rum & Coke, you will NOT get a lime. So, when I hand you your drink and you then ask where your lime is, I will correct you. It goes something think this:

Customer: "Yes, a rum and coke please."

Me: "Of course, so how is your evening going so far?"

Customer: "Great."

*hand customer drink*

Me: "Do anything special?"

Customer: "No, but... umm..." *gives me the 'you're a fucking moron' look* "Can I... Can I get a lime?"

Me: "OH! So, you wanted a Cuba Libre."

Customer: "No, I'm not from Cuba."

Me: "No, the drink. A Cuba Libre is a Rum & Coke with lime. A Rum & Coke doesn't come with lime."

Customer: "OH! I did not know that."

Me: *as nicely as I can muster* "You learn something new every day. Take care."

...

A Cape Cod? What the hell is a Cape Cod? A Cape Cod is a Vodka & Cranberry juice WITH a lime. A Vodka Cranberry (most people leave out the AND) does NOT come with a lime.

So maybe the next time you go to that bar, where that ass jockey bartender of yours works, you will correct him when you order your drink. Then, maybe that ass jockey will start doing shit right and quit ruining for the rest of us!

...But I Don't Wanna!

2009-10-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

Trying to explain the entire U.O.P online classroom environment is pointless, because no one cares. Each week you have assignments, usually due by day 7 or Monday. It's day 7. I have 2 assignments to do. I don't want to.

I forgot this is what school was about. The professor giving assignments, and me complaining all week and waiting until the last minute to do the assignments. So, why am I back in school working on my Masters? Oh yea! I remember. It's because I can't pay back my loans for my Bachelors. Also, because I need the "extra" financial aid in order to continue paying my bills. Isn't that sad? OH and did I mention that my work reimburses? I could use that money too! Because if you think I am going to take the yearly $5,250 my work gives me to pay BACK the loans, you haven't been following along very closely.

Oh and for an added bonus. Instead of following the 18 month program it would take for me to get my degree, I am stretching it out over 3 years, so that is $5,250 EACH year! YAY for me! That is if I stay with this company, which I am trying desperately hard NOT to do.

Self Promotion

2009-10-10T15:00:00.000-07:00

Stop! It's my blog and if I want to do a little self promotion, well I think that I more than welcome to. I promise to keep it short and sweet...

Have you checked out my other blogs, yet? Go! I promise you will love them. At least you will love them about as much as you love me.

Couch to 5K which I am trying my hardest to keep up on, it's not the writing I am having troubles with, it is the running/excersising part that is getting to me. :(

Reviews in my Opinion which I have surprisingly kept on! Yay for accomplishments! :D

What Are You? Stupid?

2009-10-09T10:39:00.000-07:00

I am the first person to admit that I love plastic. Not plastic girls or guys, because they are just lame! I like the plastic that has my finger tips at one end and a bank at the other. You know? Credit cards. Plastic allows me to purchase things, sometimes big things, or as of late little things (like groceries) even though I don't have the money to buy them. Then, I get to pay the money back in monthly payments for a small monthly fee.

So, you might be saying, "Hold your horses, Christie! WHY exactly do you like plastic?"

Good question, Jacob! (I have no idea who Jacob is). I love plastic because it eliminates my need/ability to save money. Why would I save $100 a month for 12 months to buy tires/wheels; WHEN, I could charge $1,200 to a credit card and pay it off monthly for the next 18 months? Do you see where I am going here?

There is a point, I promise, I just needed to give you some background first.

Now, the credit cards I have don't have high balances on them. Actually, I guess high balances would require high limits (which I don't have). Oh, no! Don't worry. I don't have high balances, because I don't have high limits. :D I never pay late (well with the exception of a few times but it wasn't more than a week late and attributed to the fact that I forgot it was due) and consider myself a "responsible" borrower. [insert sarcasm here].

But, I would NEVER, EVER, in a million light years, INCREASE my limits. So tell me why my credit card company took me from a $900 limit to a $2,400 limit. I'm no Einstein, but that is a big leap! I know my credit is good, because I just bought a car and stuff and I saw my score. But still. What are they? Stupid, that's what they are. No bank, in their right mind, would do that! I bet a blonde authorized that move. Not just any blonde, the sleazy, slept her way through management blonde. Go back to Hoe School!

I guess I am kind of excited that my limit was increased, because it lowers my debit to income ratio and I'm trying to by a house. So, that's good. I'm still trying to pay off the debit that I have, and now with $2,400 limit on one card I can help but fantasize about all the groceries, gas, and cell phone bills I can charge to the card; while having "extra money" in my bank account to purchase... Oh I don't know... Shoes, a new wardrobe, new wheels for car, because I have totally wanted to get some since I bought it! OH! And I could darken the tint on my car, get my oil changed (wait that would be a charge) or have a couple fun nights out drinking.

*sigh* The reality of the matter, is now I am going to have to remove ALL credit cards from my wallet to not be tempted into spending more money that I don't have.

Eeek! I Got An Award.

2009-10-07T11:03:00.001-07:00

It may not be an Oscar or a Grammy or anything of real importance. But it's a BIG deal to me. It's my first Blog Award and it came from non other than ladytruth. I think she calls them Truthy awards??? She also gave out several more awards, as she was in a generous mood.

Regardless, I am honored to have received an award and I couldn't have got it from a better blogger on a move to find Mr. Right by going on a series of dates. *sigh* Good Luck my friend!

So, from what I gather in the blogosphere, I am suppose to pass the award on, no? That is to come late, as I need to take some time for deep thought and think about this one.

Why I Should...

2009-10-06T12:37:00.000-07:00

Lately (meaning the last 2 months or so), I have not, under any circumstances wanted to go to work. Getting out of bed to get ready for work has become a chore instead of routine. This is precisely why I had compiled this list of the top 20 reasons why I, of all people, should win the big one. Yes, I am referring to the lottery. I am not, however, referring to just the million dollar jackpot. I want the jackpot of jackpots, the big cojones!

*clears throat* So, to begin.

1. My job sucks.
2. I don't get paid enough money to do my job.
3. They took away my overtime. Thus, they took away my grocery money.
4. Number three means they LITERALLY took food from my table.
5. I am a good person.
6. I would give a lot of it away to charity/use the money for good causes.
7. I could be a stay at home Mom. This means my kids would get the love and guidance they need/deserve preventing from being a common criminals (saving tax dollars) and allowing them to be successful (giving more tax dollars).
8. I would be less cranky.
9. I could pay off my student loans.
10. Number 9 means I would be giving money BACK to the government; thus, helping the USA get out of debit.
11. Number 9 means I would no longer be taking money from the government; thus, helping USA stay out debit.
12. I could open my own business.
13. I could open my own business without taking grants from the government.
14. Another business means more money to the government.
15. I would travel within the US.
16. Number 15 would stimulate the economies of all the states.
17. I would travel internationally.
18. Number 18 would contribute positively to foreign affairs.
19. I'd give my family/close friends money to get them out of debt; giving them more disposable income. We all know the positive effects of disposable income.
20. The cosmetic products, clothing, and shoes alone that I'd buy would be enough to keep the area booming for many centuries to come.

As you can see, the economy, government, and general public would be much better off through my winning the lottery.

Sleep

2009-10-05T11:19:00.000-07:00

I laid down for a nap yesterday at about 3:00 pm. I woke up at 10:00 pm. YIKES! So, what did I do? Showered, brushed my teeth, and went back to bed until 7 this morning.

...

I'm still tired...

It was a long weekend!

Sir? Sir, is this yours?

2009-09-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

Every month, without fail, I make a trip to the store for some necessities. A box a Tampax Pearl Regular, a 1/2 pound Almond Toffee Symphony bar, the new Cosmopolitan, and a bottle of Midol.

I get back to the apartment to start my monthly ritual and UH OH! My tube of Vagisil is empty. :( I need to stay fresh during the devil's awful visit, but I already showered and got in my comfy clothes; going out again just wasn't an option. Thank gosh for text messaging. I text my wonderful boyfriend and asked him to pick up a small item from the store for me on his way home. He agrees; he is so sweet.

When he gets home, I am greeted by a not so pleasant version of my boyfriend. Something is bothering him, I can tell, so I pry.

You are now going to be entering Lover's mind:

I'm standing in line to pay for your item. The cashier finishes with the woman in front of me, grabs the item divider thing and put it aside. Then, he grabbed the Vagisil, held it up and asked, "Sir? Sir, is this yours?"

Why did he have to do that? Of course it's mine! I'm next in line right?

That's not even the worst part, behind me was a group of ASU girls and guys. They were probably thinking how whipped I am and what a fool I am.

Back to my mind:

Between spurts of laughter, I managed to remind him that they probably though he was in a loving, caring, relationship. Not to mention the girls were jealous of him because their boyfriend's can't even buy them dinner, let alone a feminine hygiene product.

I got "the look."

I had to ask.

"So, does this mean that you wont be going to the..."

"NO!"

"K."

I Think The Maids Are Thieves

2009-09-17T15:06:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sure the maids that we hire at my company are stealing my stuff. I mean stealing my stuff, not my stuff that belongs to the company, stuff I bought. Food I bought. I am noticing that my Balance Bars are dwindling faster than the rate I am eating them. AND the other day, my chip bag was lower. Yea, exactly. They stacked on some of my Ranch Doritos. Where is anti-chip-thief technology???

Apples and Onions?

2009-09-14T09:53:00.002-07:00

This morning I was digging through the crisper drawer in the refrigerator; I knew I had some fruit in there and since I didn't have time to enjoy a healthy bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, I need something quick and easy. Quick. And. Easy.

AWW HA! So, THAT is where the left over "fixings" for the tacos I made last week went. Chopped up lettuce, cheese. OH! There's an orange. I'll take that. Onion, tomato. Apple, two apples. Perfect! Should I grab some peanut butter? No, no. I have some at work.

I put the new found fruit into my purse and off to work I went.

So, I get to work (mind you, I am starving at this point) and immediately reach for that apple in my purse. Mmm... Crisp. Cold. Fresh. Onion! Huh?

My apple has a suspicious amount of onion hint in it. Gross. I'm done!

Is this one of those life lessons that I get to learn and can only learn by living by myself? That HAS to be why my Mom always used one crisper for vegetables and the other fro fruits. Come to think of it, I don't even remember her putting the chopped up onion back IN the crisper, she just left it in the plastic zip-loc on the shelf.

I don't know about this whole getting older/growing up thing. Where's my Mommy when I need her most?

I Miss Recess

2009-09-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

Remember when your school day was only 6 hours long. I wish the work day was 6 hours long. I also wish we had recess again. Companies should implement this into their schedules, it will keep employees from getting "burnt out." Not that I am getting burnt out, I just want a recess. Oh and while you are at it how about decreasing the work day to 6 hours too? Actually, I couldn't afford to only work 30 hours in a work week so that wouldn't be any good. See, where I am going with this?

Vote Yes For Recess!

The new 9-5 has become 8-5 for a total of 9 hours a day (1 hour for lunch) that you will never be able to get back. Imagine you had a recess in there somewhere. Or even split up your lunch into 2 30 minute breaks OR you could just turn your hour lunch into 2 15 minute recesses and a 30 minute lunch. This transforms your work day into:

WORK 8 - 10

RECESS 10-10:15

WORK 10:15 - 12:30

LUNCH 12:30 - 1

WORK 1 - 3:30

RECESS 3:30 - 3:45

WORK 3:45 - 5

Now, I don't know about you, but I like the new schedule. I want recess again. If I could go back to any time in my life, I think I was pretty happy in Kindergarten - where we had NAP TIME too!!!

Back in Business

2009-09-03T08:19:00.000-07:00

An update from this post.

1. Met The Parents

Unsuccessful - Dad was out of town. So, what did he do? How about you meet Mom instead? Oh great!

She was nice, didn't talk much (but Lover already warned me months ago that she wasn't much of a talker). I'm pretty sure she liked me, but again, I don't care either way.

I'm suppose to be meeting Dad soon.

2. Weight Gain

Must have been retaining water. Got some iPhone Apps to help out. How about Calorie Tracker, Couch to 5K, and Weight Watcher. So Couch to 5K seems really cool, it gets potatoes off the couch and running 3.1 miles in 9 weeks. (Can you say new blog?) The down side? I have to be consistent, and by consistent - I mean every day! :(

3. Vacation

See Sedona and Starbucks!

4. Reunited

I don't know what I was thinking before! Some people are just busy! So it was really nice to get with them again. Between my complaints of flakiness, I don't think I have mentioned how good of people these two are! And the age thing.. hmm... Well, I know SHE doesn't have a problem. But, I still think he does. Time will tell. I had greek food for the first time!

5. Job Hunt

I didn't get the job I applied for. I'm keeping my head high and I'll keep looking...

6. Back in Business

The first bartending gig of the new season went GREAT! I'm so glad to have made some money, I mean, I actually made some money!!!

100 Things About Me

2009-09-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

YAY!!! I did it!

1. I want to be a lawyer, well, I want to be a judge, but I have to be the lawyer first.
2. My eyes are brown.
3. I have curly hair, which I love to see straight, but am too lazy to straighten on most days.
4. It took me 18 years to be comfortable enough with my body to walk out of the house without a baggy sweatshirt.
5. I miss wearing sweatshirts.
6. I'm good at hiding my emotions.
7. I hate feeling vulnerable.
8. I'm strong and independent.
9. I love being a woman; but sometimes I can't help but think how “good" the male species has it.
10. I hate stereotypes.
11. I'm EXTREMELY liberal.
12. I don't believe in God, the Devil, reincarnation, hell, heaven, Adam and Eve, or anything religious.
13. I LOVE gay people, not because they are gay; but because most of them rational and logical, open and loving, caring and trustworthy and I don't feel judged when around them.
14. I average a ticket every 3 or 4 months. I am a good driver, I just like to speed.
15. Greek Mythology fascinates me.
16. I believe in scientific paranormal stuff, like aliens, people who only age a day in a year and astrology (okay I know it’s not a REAL science).
17. Same-Sex couples should be allowed to marry. Period.
18. After the age of 12, I have only had 1 boyfriend. I'm with him now and I know we'll be together for life.
19. I LOVE animals, but I especially love cats.
20. I can't have any cats, because my boyfriend is allergic. This makes me sad on some days.
21. I think that if people believed what I believed they would be happier and less stressed.
22. I respect that they don't and don’t ask that they do.
23. I don’t get along with, nor do I like my biological father; I miss my younger half sisters sometimes.
24. I hate my job right now and I am looking for a new and better one.
25. I love reading romance novels, the ones set from the "old days" (when women listened - kidding! :P)
26. I believe I was born in the wrong time, and should have been born back in the day when women were courted and virginity was earned.
27. It's tough being a young girl.
28. I was adopted to my step-dad; I agreed to do it, because I thought it would make him like me and make my Mom happy. It made my Mom happy.
29. I don't regret anything, because my choices then make me who I am today.
30. I am glad that my Mom is no longer married to him and is with another amazing man instead.
31. I'm close with my family, but I like my privacy as well.
32. I'm non-confrontational.
33. From the time I was 13 until about 16 I wanted to get emancipated and live my own life
34. I can't believe I ever wanted to do that, because I love my Mom unconditionally.
35. High School bored me, I was only there for 2 years.
36. I took the California High School Proficiency Exam and graduated with my diploma just after I turned 16.
37. I graduated with my AA in General Education BEFORE I would have graduated high school, had I continued with it.
38. I graduated with my BS in Business with an emphasis on Administration a month after my 20th birthday.
39. I'm afraid of bridges.
40. I don't like bugs.
41. I don't like reptiles (snakes, frogs, lizards, iguanas, etc.)
42. I HATE rodents (ferrets and hamsters count)
43. I don't like feet touching me.
44. I didn't get my first pedicure until I was 16.
45. I wish I could walk around in boxers and a tank top all day every day (no bra).
46. I see a chiropractor 2 times a week.
47. I don't always feel pretty, but my boyfriend makes me feel like I the most beautiful woman he has ever set eyes on every time he looks at me.
48. Drunk people amuse me; that's why I bartend.
49. Being a stay at home Mom would be an AWESOME job.; one that I would be okay with, even though I want my own career.
50. I wish I could help everyone.
51. I act older than what I am.
52. I want to own a bar someday.
53. I look older than what I am.
54. I smoked a pack a day between 13 and 20 years old. I don't crave them anymore, but I will indulge in a Black & Mild every now and then.
55. I don't feel comfortable crying in front of anyone expect my Mom.
56. I like being complimented.
57. I like the idea of psychics and palm readers. I have only been to one but she said a lot of stuff that made sense.
58. I don't like being told what to do or how to act.
59. My iPhone changed my life.
60. Buying my own car was an amazing accomplishment for me, I'm still proud of that day.
61. If I don't stay busy, I find things to do. Those things aren't always ethical, or legal.
62. Pizza, is not my favorite and I would prefer to not eat it.
63. I don't like the taste of any cooked animal, but I'll eat it.
64. Being a C.I.A. agent, or a spy, or someone that gets to pretend to be someone they are not (not an actress or actor) in real life would be cool. I wouldn't know how to even get into something like that.
65. Drugs are bad.
66. While staring at my palm, just now I think there is a big new line that wasn't there before and it is creeping me out. I wonder what it means?
67. I'm terrified of needles.
68. I learn by doing and watching.
69. I don't like being hairy, so I shave everything but my head and eyebrows.
70. I'm afraid of what could be in the dark.
71. I was arrested once, for skinny dipping at a Country Club pool. They released me to my friends parents and I enjoyed the rest of my weekend while my Mom and her boyfriend were out of town.
72. I never had any real friends until high school.
73. I love to cook, but eating out is just as enjoyable
74. I think growing up in a small town is engraved deep within me and makes me who I am.
75. I never wanted to go to the pool or be around water. Now, I can't get enough of it.
76. I could sit by the ocean all day every day and never get tired of it. I am going to live by the ocean some day.
77. I don't want to be anywhere near a corn field, EVER!
78. The friends I choose end up using me, and I generally take it until I can't stand it anymore, because they need my help and I will feel bad if I just left the friendship.
79. I'm done feeling bad for other people; friendship is a privilege not a right.
80. I always thought I would marry my high school sweetheart; until I didn't have one.
81. I love having big boobs.
82. I move a lot, because no place ever feels like "home," and I am constantly searching for it.
83. Eating healthy is hard.
84. Have you ever smelled your hands after holding a bunch of coins? That is what left over macaroni and cheese tastes like to me.
85. I use to hate country music, because it was the only thing I was "allowed" to listen to. Now, I love it!
86. I can't read educational, informative, or text books - they just aren't entertaining.
87. Winning the lottery would be nice!!!
88. I wont walk out of my house without mascara on.
89. I'm too honest sometimes.
90. I think differently than most people.
91. My comfort food is mashed potatoes.
92. I am very competitive.
93. I don't like watching T.V. I prefer movies, or watching T.V. shows when they come out on DVD.
94. I don't like to lie; therefore, I am a bad liar.
95. I could not live without technology and I wonder when the flying car will be released.
96. I think I am going to run out of numbers before I run out of things about me.
97. I can't wait to start my own family.
98. I am happier now than I have ever been.
99. I'm okay with me.
100. This was surprisingly easy.

Sedona

2009-09-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

So, I thought I would do a Photo Blog of Lover and I's mini day vacation trip to Sedona.

First, you might want to read about the Starbucks Debacle.

THEN...

He thinks I'm weirdWe see the next 3 rock mountains

We really like waterfalls

Look! The color green!!!

I know the rock is pretty, but look at the sky; it was a beautiful day!Then we saw these pigsSo I gave her a kiss and the man... ...well, I don't know what he did :S We went shopping and found this sign. Very fitting. Stopped to have a beer... ...and fed Cinderella We found a statue

When he wasn't looking...

I sneaked a peak - good tuck!

We found a big slippery rock - Slide Rock I swear I didn't fall down Then Lover went in... Face first! ...then he slipped ... and tried to cover it up

And then we went home...

Starbucks Debacle

2009-09-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

The picture above shows a coffee purchased at a Starbucks.

Now, you might be asking yourself why I would take time and energy to take the picture and THEN to write a blog about it. Well, it just so happens to be because I think stupidity is a disease and I like to call it that when I see it.

While on a little day trip to Sedona, Lover and I stopped at a Drive-Thru Starbucks to get some coffee. We ordered at the speaker, pulled to the window, he had card his card in hand, paid for the coffee, we got our straws and receipt followed by our coffee and we pulled away.

FREEZE.

Now, isn't that how it normally happens when you order coffee at a Drive-Thru. Not us.

REWIND...

We pulled to the window (card to pay in hand), we were then greeted by someone who did not take our order (gender told us so), he handed us our coffee, and said, "thanks guy, have a good day." I looked at Lover, looked back up at the employee (who by that time was closing the window and thus his window of opportunity to correct himself. So, we pulled away with our free $7 coffees.

Neosporin

2009-08-31T13:00:00.000-07:00

For some reason I have been hurting myself lately. No, not intentionally so you can stop typing the 1-800-SUICIDE help hotline number you were going to give me, plus I appear to already have it.

I got a couple blister from wearing new heels yesterday. I sliced my finger. No, really SLICED my finger. I took off a piece of skin, A CHUNCK of skin.

When I was younger, the extent of healing such wounds extended to a bottle or peroxide followed by half a bottle of rubbing alcohol.

While at my (Ex) Step-Grandmother's house, when younger, she would send me or my sister to the bathroom for any minor scrape or cut she saw to apply Neosporin. *clears throat* After knowing what it feels like to have rubbing alcohol poured into an open wound, I was not about to discover what Neosporin felt like upon application. No, I don't care if the back says pain free, the back of the alcohol bottle said that too, but guess what? It lied!

So, I would throw a drop of water on it, to make it look wet, hide it from the witch (meaning the ex step-grandmother) and go to back to playing, which was usually a chore around her house, like cracking walnuts.

However, some co-workers were talking about how Neosporin works wonders and heals wounds in more than HALF the time.

I COULD USE THAT!

So, I sent the man to the store to buy some. I popped my blisters (it's just water so stop freaking out), put some Neosporin on the band-aid, and applied the band-aid. (I didn't look nearly as cute as the little girl on the right does).

I did all that last night. Oh my gosh! Today, the blisters aren't sore, they didn't fill back up with water and they even look a little healed!

It's a MIRACLE!

Changes Are Coming

2009-08-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

So, in order to get all of my thoughts out I have decided to make a list instead of just a regular post.

1. Meet the parents.

My boyfriend told me last night, while I was making his dinner, that tomorrow (meaning today) was the day I was going to meet his Dad. The emotions I felt in this order: Excitement, Nervousness, Confusion, Anger, I'm not doing it, I don't have time to straighten my hair, I have nothing to wear, UGH why are putting me through this.

Now, let me explain. First, he hadn't even TOLD his Dad that we would be coming over. Meeting the parents is a BIG deal, like it should be planned. Both parties should have a minimum of a week to contemplate the entire ordeal and come up with questions. Well, unfortunately my man doesn't work that way. He likes to everything on a whim and with absolutely no notice. You see, he stresses me out.

I've been wanting to meet his parents (Dad, Mom, and Mom's Boyfriend) for awhile now, but he doesn't really have the best relationship with ANY of his family members. They are weird like that, they don't talk on the phone, they don't tell anyone about their personal life, nothing! I mean to tell you my Mom knew I was moving in with him a week before I did. His parents don't even know we live together - it's been over 2 months. Hey, don't judge - it's our life [Bon Jovi song fades in here].

So, I need help from you guys! See, I have this theory that no one likes me with him because of the age difference. I am 20 and he is 26, almost 27 and it seems like when someone finds out "how young I am" they disapprove. Now, age is a number, not a maturity level. AND there are some things I accomplished that I like to share with people because I proud of them and it is impressive. I graduated high school at 16, I got my AA at 17, and I just received my BS in Business Administration right after I turned 20. Tell his Dad this would give away my age, something I don't want to disclose in the beginning. But I am who I am.

Now, that I am writing all of this out, I don't really care if his Dad likes me, because his Dad isn't really important to him. Okay. So, I think I made up my own mind for me. I'm just going to be me.

Have I mentioned that I've never met anyone's parents before, EVER!

2. Easier to gain then it is to lose.

So, how come it is easier to gain 5 pounds in 2 - 3 weeks than it is to lose 5 pounds in the same amount of time. Lately, I stopped cooking (I know BIG mistake) and started eating out more - need to stop! Before I knew it, I gained 5 pounds.

What in the Universe would have lured me into getting on the scale you ask. Well, I have been craving pizza - I don't like pizza! It's a disgusting greasy food that has far too much cheese, it's chewy and taste like bread. I have no idea why I was craving pizza, I just was. So the day after I consumed an entire small pizza and 2 can sodas in one sitting, I hopped on the scale. I'm not longer craving pizza.

Last night, I did 40 sit-ups and 40 push-ups. It's not much but it's a start. Then, tonight after I meet Lover's Dad, we are going to go walking, somewhere; maybe the park, or the local high school track, I don't care where, I just need to walk. I need to excercise, I need motivation though. :(

3. 3 day weekend and vacation

Today is my Friday; go ahead and hate; I'll wait...

So, I requested tomorrow off, because I just needed a day off. Then, Lover and I decided that we would go to Sedona, AZ and take his baby girl, Cinderella, we get to take her overnight and don't have to take her back to the Baby Momma until noon on Saturday.

4. Meeting old friends

Remember when I wrote about that couple snobbing us, because the girl fell asleep on the couch? Well, they invited us over Friday night. Now, it looks like after our nice day trip to the country to see rocks and sunsets, we are going to be hanging out with the same couple. I was shocked that they invited us. Looks like we are going to just hang out at their house and order pizza, OH NO!

5. Job hunting

As you might already know, I have been hunting for a new job. I interviewed for one position last week! YAY! I am horrible at interviews, I think I am just too honest. However, I should be hearing from them tomorrow on whether or not I am called back for a SECOND interview.

If that doesn't work out, I have another one lined up, and just found out about another possible position. However, I REALLY want to work for the company that I just interviewed for. I should know more tomorrow, I'll call while on my trip if I have to!

6. Bartending.

As you read, the season is starting. Which means busy. It also means money. Hey, a girl's gotta pay the bills.

I think that is it. For now, I have everything off of my chest.

Michael Jackson is Still Alive?

2009-08-26T09:02:00.000-07:00

Watch the video and read the story here.

C'mon folks. I know it is hard to let go of a legend like Michael Jackson, but... He is dead, accept it. He didn't fake his death for money, even though we all know that he was broke.

Plus, he would spend some serious jail time for faking his death; talk about some serious fraud cases.

I don't think he is alive. If he was there would be too many people out there (like his doctor, those who did the autopsy, etc.) coming forward to let the scandal out. Michael would have had to pay those people more money than what he would have earned for faking his death.

So, I've said it, Michael is dead, he is not coming back.

Starting a New Blog

2009-08-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

YAY!!!! Okay, before you go all "she might have something to say but two blog posts in one day is saying too much," on me, give me a chance to explain myself.

Okay, here goes...

I realized that Lover and I go to the movies. No, I realized that Lover and I go to the movies a lot, like at least once a week, sometimes twice, and sometimes once but we watch 2 movies.

What does this mean?

It meeeeaannnss that I am starting a new blog, something meaningful and fun, something useful for other readers/followers (if I gain some).

Said blog will be titled New Release.

WAIT! Don't go there yet! I haven't posted any reviews. Although, I do have a few to catch up on:

The Hangover
The Time Traveler's Wife
G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
The Ugly Truth
The Orphan
Drag Me to Hell
The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
District 9

Normally, I would not bother with past movies I have seen and just start fresh. But all those movies are still in theatres!!!

In addition. I think I am going to start writing reviews for movies period(.). Like if I watch a new movie that isn't in theatres.

Boy (or girl), this sure gives me something to do with all my time.

I got to get to work!

The Season

2009-08-25T09:22:00.000-07:00

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

The bartending season has finally begun and who better to ring in the season with then non-other-than Tom Cruise himself!

This summer was horribly slow, and I barely worked. Now, it is cooling off, turning to fall, and love is in the air. Literally, it's time for weddings, divorce parties, company parties, holiday parties, it's just time for PARTIES!

And time for you to hire ME as your bartender at your event!

If you are in Phoenix (or in the general vasinity) and need one, contact Dave Foreman, 602.505.7293, and ask for Christie A.K.A. Love and Booze, as your bartender. He knows me as love and booze trust me... He follows me on Twitter and you should too - @LoveAndBooze

Now, I can pay off all those credit card bills I accumulated during the summer due to not having any money.

The First 2 Months Are the Hardest

2009-08-24T08:08:00.000-07:00

<--- The first picture we took together, from my cell phone.

Well folks, it has officially been 2 months since the Boyfriend, Lover, and I have moved in together. Despite the warnings, precautions, and post-moving scares we received from our friends we made it, and happily.

A few responses we got when people found out we were moving in together.

"Be careful! The first 2 months are the hardest!" This was the most common. Followed by:

"He/she is going to get on your nerves."

"You have to adjust and remember to compromise, a lot."

"Try not to fight too much."

"It's going to be hard, trust me!"

Me: "We don't really understand what people mean by the first two months are hard. Everything is great for us!"
Friend (who just recently had her boyfriend move it): "Oh no! Trust me girl! They are hard! The first two months are the hardest!"

The first picture we took together, as a couple. --->

Well, now we have made it 2 months into living together and things are great! I couldn't love him more, we are there for each other, and we still have not had a single argument. Unless you count me yelling at him NOT to do the dishes on Sunday because I wanted him to spend the next 20 minutes before he had to go to work with me and not cleaning (something I can do while he is away at work, because I had nothing better to do).

Driving Lesson

2009-08-21T11:18:00.000-07:00

There are two different "Thank You" waves in the driving world. One you should use frequently, the other you should avoid (at all costs).

The bad driving wave. I'm talking about the bird, being told you're #1, the long one, the F-you finger, the middle finger. Raise your hand if you have ever received this finger while driving. Now, look around at everyone who has his or her hand raised, these are your fellow pompouses.
Yup, because in order to get that finger you probably did something completely deserving of it, like cut someone off, I'm almost certain you cut someone off. If I am wrong, please tell me, in a comment cause I like those, I like to know that people are reading and I'm not just talking to myself, but the online me.

Now, raise your hand if you have ever been the one who gave someone the finger. Now, everyone, look around and those with their hand in the air, these are your fellow self absorbed ass jockeys.
Yup, because in order to give the finger you are probably completely self involved. You might also be that driver you speeds up, so that the driver (you know the one who just cut you off anyway?) couldn't merge over because you were afraid of gaining an extra 10 seconds of you life and now you can't beat your record of fast time home in rush hour traffic.

So what are you? Tell me! I am a pompous ass jockey, because I am guilty of both. Although, usually the person trying to pass me, is an idiot because they are not going to "go faster" than me, they only THINK they are. Sometimes I let them over, sometimes I know that they are only going to slow me down, and if they just realize that by cutting me off they are not gaining any time but costing me time then my life would be easier.

Lately, I have been trying to give up on fighting it and my constant need to be in front of all traffic (because to be everything is a competition) and let people over. The first time I did this, a few weeks ago, I saw that a man had on his blinker, and several cars in front of me were gassing it and tail gating the car in front of him or her in an attempt to not loose any time from letting this vehicle over. I saw this and thought those inconsiderate jerks, he has his blinker on, has for some time, and he just needs to get over... I slowed and motioned to the man in the vehicle that he could indeed merge over.

Then, to my uttermost shock, he waved! OH MY GOD! People still have manors in this world! He actually waved, to say THANK YOU! He made me want to let someone else over into my lane, so I did! Guess what? Another wave! This time from a woman. It made me smile. THEN, and only then, did I realize that the only reason I DON'T want to let me over is because they would take it for granted and wouldn't appreciate it.

Today's lesson: Show some gratitude while driving. If someone assists you in while driving, gives you want you want, or is just a good driver. Say thank you, wave or give them some other gesture.

Just make sure it isn't this one:

If this stick figure can do it, so can you!

HAPPY FRIDAY! Hope you all have a great weekend!!!

28 Day... Cycle

2009-08-19T14:24:00.000-07:00

So we all have it (well half, more than half of us do). *sigh* Okay, I'll say it, we're all adults here... Period, shark week, Aunt Flow, bait season, rag time, monthly, personal time, menstrual, Red Sea, and the list goes on.

So, usually before this unholy event occurs, I turn into a raging Bitch. Everything seems to bother me and everyone gets on my nerves. This week has been a tad bit different; instead of getting angry I cry. WHAT?

Prime example:

You know that movie, The Parent Trap? The one with Lindsey Lohan, but not the "cracked out, alcoholic, slut" Lindsey Lohan, the "little girl, I don't know what masturbation is" Lindsey Lohan. Well, it is a movie about twin girls, who don't know they have a twin. One lives with her Mom in London, the other lives with her Dad is Napa, CA. Now WHY the parents would even TRY to do this I have no clue? I mean WHO just abandons their child? Cause regardless of anything that is what that is, abandonment.

I digress...
Anyway, these two meet at camp, figure everything out, and switch places to try and get their parents back together again to be a family.
Okay, all together now: "AAAwww....."

I've seen the movie HUNDREDS of times and could probably tell you the lines of the movie from memory. However, during this showing, every other scene was touching my heart in such a way that my eyes started leaking! I mean, I say eye leakage, because it's not really considered crying when it's against your will. At least it's not in this girls blog!

Needless to say, I am still not entirely sure which one I prefer: Eye Leakage? Or Rage Blackouts?

Who's Paying?

2009-08-18T13:28:00.000-07:00

Lover has dated a lot in his past; so, he is pretty familiar with whole dating game, gestures, relationships, what works, what doesn't work, etc... Did I mention that he has dated a lot?

Whenever we go out we play this fun game, where we critique another couples relationship based on what we see (hand gestures, body language, nervous habits, conversation - if we're lucky to be that close to ease drop). Our favorite couples have turned into the first date couples. So, I mention that Lover has dated a lot, right? This means a lot of first dates, he thinks he is a pro about the first date.

We have become almost 100% accurate in pointing out the first date couples. If we disagree, we might find ourselves butting into their conversation to find out. However, we usually both agree. It's actually pretty easy, and fun at the same time, to distinguish the first date. First, they don't look at each other differently; you don't get that deep burning stare, as though the other is peering into their partners eyes. You see the deer in the headlights look, or more commonly, the scared/nervous look. Second, your hand gestures are different; most people are nervous on a first date and therefore find something to do with their hands, say twirling the straw in ones drink or folding, unfolding, and the refolding his or her napkin. Generally, the female will laugh at almost everything that is said, another nervous habit, but also an attempt at flirting. Let me demonstrate:

Him: "I'm really into alternative and punk music."
Her: *chuckle* "Oh that's so funny, me too!"

Was it really that funny?

We really like it when one of them is not interested in the other. For example, we saw this young boy (I say boy because he most likely had barely turned 18) with the young girl (she probably just got her license 6 months ago) together. The boy was completely messing up this date by standing and walking next to her with his arms crossed. Crossed arms are a very uninviting gesture.

If, we can conclude that it is not the couples first date, we then like to guess who is going to pay. This only works if you are somewhere where something has to be bought, like the movies or dinner.

Recently, while enjoying a scrumptious breakfast at The Good Egg, we saw this young couple (maybe in their early to mid twenties). At first, they appeared to be just friends. However, upon further investigation we were able to deduce that they had indeed had sex. The male, clearly was not committed to this young woman. The female, wanted more out of the relationship than he was wanting to give.

After a little bit longer of observing their behavior, I looked at The Man and said:

"I bet she is going to pay!"

I just knew it, it struck me like a lightening bolt.

Afraid that our inner curiosity would not be fulfilled unless we knew who paid, I motioned our waitress over to us. Our waitress is blonde, she lost tip points just for that AND when she brought us our drinks she threw the straws at us, again lost more tip points. However, managed to redeem herself.

Upon my motioning, The Man tried to steer me away but I was resilient.

Me: “I was hoping you could help us out. See, we play this silly little game where we critiques peoples relationships…”

Lover: “No, Christie, stop.” Dismissing the waitress, “you don’t have to listen to her.”

Me: “Babe, I want to know.” To the waitress, “You see that couple over there, the guy with the red hat.”

Lover: “BABE, she doesn’t want to do this…”

Waitress: “No, I want to get in on this.” She moves behind us to get a better view of the couple.

Lover: “Oh my god!”

Me: “See, Babe?” back to the waitress, “We were wondering if you could tell us who pays for the meal, see we are almost positive she is going to pay.”

Waitress: “That is so weird, my friends and I do the same thing, only we try to figure out what they do for a living.” She walks off in promise to report back what she finds.

The waitress gave us a BRILLIANT new game to play! She is in retail of some sort; he on the other hand, unemployed.

Turns out, we didn’t even need our waitress as a spy. As soon as they stood up to walk to the register to pay, the males hands went straight in his pockets, and hers went to her wallet. I laughed! Hysterically!

The waitress did report back and informed us that she was a nurse.

Lover and I looked at each other, laughed and said in unison: “She ain’t no nurse.” The girl might where scrubs and shuffle paperwork, but she certainly is not a nurse.

Later, it comes to find out she drives the same car I do and she lives in the same apartment complex as Lover and I. Ironic.

20 For a Month

2009-08-11T08:29:00.001-07:00

I wish I were talking about money. Although if that were the case, I would much rather have $20 a week for a month. Maybe some day I will find my internet stalker who wants nothing more than to please me from a distance (a far, far distance) and send me money.

Today, I have offically been 20 years old for 1 month. I think I can now start referring to myself as a 20 year old, instead of saying, "I just turned 20." The reaction on faces of strangers upon hearing this is rather amusing. The shocked, "no-way," "ut uh," and "you're WAY older," are rather flattering; until I am 28 and people think I am 35; that'd be gross!

So, even though it has only been one month, it feels like 11. Only, in one more month I still will not be able to purchase alcohol... legally.

***Editors note: Umm, I don't know where my mind was at during this because, uhh... My birthday is June 11, which would have made me 20 for 2 months. I have no clue! Hence, the new tag, FAIL!***

Driving Lesson

2009-08-08T01:37:00.000-07:00

Today's lesson is about how to properly yield when the sign says you should "yield."

My commute from work to home consists of 3 freeways, a street, a parking lot, and a parking space. In the transition from that last freeway unto the city streets I have to exit the freeway, and merge across three lanes of traffic, in less than 50 feet, in order to make a right hand turn.

Now, these three lanes of traffic are coming from frontage road. Can anyone possibly imagine how difficult this merge is? Well, actually it is fairly easy, or should be, because the frontage road has a yield sign. Meaning, those drivers have to yield to traffic exiting the freeway. However, do you really think any driver is going to take 10 seconds out of their day and yield, as the sign says they are to, as the law says they are to do, so that I can make the turn I need in order to get home? Nope. They do not. Consequently, I have to turn into a huge Bee.I.Tea.Cee.H, force myself between vehicles, cross my fingers that oncoming cars in the other lanes can slow down in time of my cutting them off, and *sigh* make that well deserved right hand turn on my final stretch of road before pulling into my parking lot, and stopping in the parking space.

So, word of advice YIELD, when you have a “Yield” sign! It is only the right thing to do, the courteous thing to do, and the law. Plus, 10 seconds is not taking that much time from your life.

I Have A Dream...

2009-08-07T10:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, not really. I had a dream and it came true, well, sort of.

The Dream:

Lover and I were sitting on our bed discussing finances. I wanted to know where he was spending all of his money. After a few moments of haggling he finally confessed that he was paying off a coworker. He owed someone he worked with $3,000 and was trying to pay it off in 5 months. He explained that he lost it while playing poker, gambling! Then he leaned in to give me a kiss. I was mad and angry, he lied to me, I had every right to be mad and angry. So, instead of embracing the kiss, I slapped him. The dream ended.

Flash forward a few hours to this morning…

I vaguely remembered the dream and probably would have forgot about it if it were not for Lover.

After I got ready for work, I went back into the bedroom to give Lover a kiss good-bye, he has Fridays off of work. This is when he asked me why I slapped him last night. With a confused look I asked, “I slapped you?” Apparently, last night I slapped him while I was sleeping. But that is not the even crazier part.

I fall asleep early and he stays up late. He is use to it. He works the Swing shift. When he went to bed last night, he went to give me a kiss good-night (again, I was sleeping), and I slapped him. I slapped him for kissing me, just like I did in my dream.

Couple Friends

2009-08-04T13:47:00.000-07:00

Text Conversation:

US – “Hey Bro [clearly not me texting here] do you and Jane* want to get together and do something tonight?”
THEM – “Sure what do you have in mind?”
US – “Dinner and a movie? OR we could just hang out by the pool, catch up, and relax.”

[Jeopardy music playing in the background]

30 minutes later…

THEM – “Hey Bro [clearly directed towards Lover], Jane just passed out on the couch, I don’t think tonight is a good night.”

So, this was at 6:30 pm on a Friday night. Yea, Lover and I need new friends. I mean, seriously? If you didn’t want to hang out, why wouldn’t someone just say he or she wasn’t in the mood? OR if you didn’t like ideas, why wouldn’t you suggest something else?

On another night, Lover and I were going to gather a bunch of our friends together and have a big dinner. There were 20 people (including us). Within 24 hours of the dinner, 16 people backed out! The only people who went to the dinner was me, Lover, my Mom, and Step-Dad.

I really don’t think that something is wrong with us, because we are good people. Wait, did I mention that these were all HIS friends that were backing out?

Don’t be mistaken, my friends back out too. Only, my friends consist of my Dad’s ex girlfriend (ya, I know) and her boyfriend (who I can’t stand). She sort of tells me the truth though. She is a 33 year-old-woman, with 2 divorces, and 3 kids, who is not “allowed” to hang out with me. Her boyfriend thinks that I, a 20 year-old young woman with 3 degrees, no kids, and a loving boyfriend, is a bad influence. Who are we kidding here? The saddest part of it all, is that she listens. Yup.She.Listens.

So… I will say it again. Lover and I need new friends, non flaky ones, who enjoy going out. You can be single or a couple. Although, we do ask that if you are a couple, you cannot be consumed in your relationship, because if you are consumed in your relationship you will only want to hang out with the other partner, and THAT would make you like our current friends.

Anyone else in the market? We will send you our resume!

*name changed to protect identity :P

Big Deal, So What, Who Cares?

2009-08-04T09:50:00.001-07:00

I was driving to work this morning when this song, Leann Rimes - Big Deal, managed to make it's way from my I-pod, to my car speakers and into my ears.

This song can spark up so much conversation; especially one me and Lover (the boyfriend) had the other night. Thus, the song is my Muse for the day.

Ladies, let's face it; we can't just allow one of our girlfriends to be happy with someone.

A group of friends can all be single -dating? Yes, but still single - who gather together and have a grand ol' time. However, when one of those girls happens to stubble across love, which we all know is kind of a trip, fall and collapse into love, all of a sudden that one who found love becomes an Untouchable. I don't mean, simply you can't touch her, I mean like an Untouchable from the caste system of Ancient India.

Why do we do this? Why do we see our friend, so happy, in love, full of life, and determined to better herself, and bring her down? Women turn into a hunter, or better yet a fisherman. You try to tempt us with your worm. We see the ploy and just as we think we can swim away you grab your bow and arrow and shoot us right in the heart.

STOP the madness! It's an infectious, jealous disease. She is not a traitor, she still loves you too, she still wants to hang out, she still wants things to be like "they use to be." But, that cannot happen if YOU don't allow it.

Shared via AddThis

I Have a Job, I Deserve a Better One

2009-07-30T10:46:00.000-07:00

This time yesterday I was jumping up and down with lots of joy and glee, GLEE! The company I have been trying so HARD to get a job with called me to schedule an interview. SWEET! She mentioned that she would e-mail me the directions to the location and to confirm the time.

I didn’t check my e-mail yesterday, I mean really? I know where they are located! It is like one of my top companies to work for (just a few notches below Disney, Google, and Apple).

I checked the e-mail this morning when I got in the office, and to my surprise, it was not from the company I thought. Another company, could it be? I called. It was the same (SAME) company that called me yesterday. My first question was how did you get my resume? Career Builder dot com. Click.

I get it, so in order to apply for the company I REALLY want a job with, I had to apply through Career Builder dot com. When the women mentioned that over the phone yesterday, I thought it was the company I APPLIED for.

I hate companies who solicit business. Wait, no. They didn’t solicit business, they solicited employees?

Anyway, I cancelled the interview, because for all I know they are a cult, that hires people and then lays them off if he or she is not a “good fit.”

*sigh* So, I am still waiting for a call from that company I really want to work for.

Love and Booze

Mean Motor Scooter

Driving Lesson

Attacked

I Needed This Today

The Anger Test

I Play Chicken

Doesn't Step Sound Negative

Coffee or Hot Chocolate?

*shakes head* Some People...

A little Humor

Night Baby

60 Days

I Just Don't Like It

Weddings are STUPID!

Alzheimer's

Is It Safe to Scream?

Awake

My Average

... and Then It Hit Me

The Truth About Men

Broken Teeth

Does this mean I'm getting older quicker?

This Year...

I'll Never Do That Again

All I Want For Christmas - Day 25

All I Want For Christmas - Day 14

All I Want For Christmas - Day 13

All I Want For Christmas - Day 12

You can't be in the club anymore!

All I Want For Christmas - Day 11

All I Want For Christmas - Day 10

All I Want For Christmas - Day 9

All I Want For Christmas - Day 8

All I Want For Christmas - Day 7

All I Want For Christmas - Day 6

All I Want For Christmas - Day 5

All I Want For Christmas - Day 4

All I Want For Christmas - Day 3

All I Want For Christmas - Day 2

All I Want For Christmas - Day 1

My Bright Idea

The Time I Almost Got to Party with Smash Mouth (Part 3)

The Time I Almost Got to Party with Smash Mouth (Part 2)

The Time I Almost Got to Party with Smash Mouth (Part 1)

"Ask Christie what happened the last time she hoped a fence for water"

Lot's to Say...

I Have a Problem

The Spitters

Are you sure Christie isn't on that list?

...and I'm a genius!

Bitch Boy, Pot Stirrer, and Shit Talker

It's so Stressful. I Want to Cry.

Time to Shovel Some Snow

A Mattress DOUBLES In Weight Over 10 Years...

Overnight

18 Years, 4, Months, and 21 Days

The Morning Routine

Planning a Party?

He's Takin' Over (For today only)

First Carving

For Lunch...

Famous Last Words

I Just Sent You Flowers So I Can Get Laid

They Stole 2 Hours From Me

Mondays

Cold Hearted. Warm Blooded.

Mrs. No Holey Jeans

Dream #2

Slasher Dreams

My Problem With Drinkers...

...But I Don't Wanna!

Self Promotion

What Are You? Stupid?

Eeek! I Got An Award.

Why I Should...

Sleep

Sir? Sir, is this yours?

I Think The Maids Are Thieves

Apples and Onions?

shakes head Some People...